Are you ladies more kinky than you’re admitting? Considering the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, the erotica book burning the laps of lady readers across the country, I’m guessing you gals might be a tad kink-curious. Of course, there is a difference between reading about kinky sex and actually doing it– but both can be hot. Why not give those fantasies a whirl in the bedroom?
Being a vanilla girl who is curious about BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) can be intimidating. You’re probably conjuring images of dog collars, dungeons and leather-clad man who calls himself Master DragonBallz. Fret not, there are ways for a normal gal to try this stuff out with her partner in the comfort of her own bedroom. No dungeon necessary. Click through for some tips on how to dip a perfectly manicured toe into the dark waters of BDSM. And remember, you can use your safe word at anytime during this slideshow.
I recently spoke with Jen, a sex surrogate. For those of you asking: “Wait. A whaaat?” allow me to explain. A sex surrogate is sort of like a sex worker, but one that works with a licensed therapist to help men struggling with sexual issues. Jen has worked with world renowned, Oprah-approved sex therapists as a surrogate. While she doesn’t have actual sexual intercourse with her clients, Jen’s sessions typically include touch, which means, yes, she handles lots of penises. The most common problem amongst the men Jen works with is premature ejaculation. If you are playing the field (or even if you’re off the market), statistically, it’s highly likely that you will encounter a premature ejaculator. I know I have, and it was awkward at best. In the hopes that you’ll be prepared if it happens to you, I asked Jen for some advice about how to handle a premature situation. After the jump, helpful tips from a professional. Keep reading »
His name was Patrick, but everyone referred to him as “the 17-year-old.” That was how his number was saved in my phone. I met the 17-year-old while visiting my 17-year-old cousin in the burbs. I was 22. The cousin brought me to a high school party. Patrick was in the corner, tall and spidery with olive skin.
After a few shared cigarettes, I found myself making out with him on the hood of my car, our bodies causing the metal to cave where we lay.
“Leave the suburbs and come live in the city,” I said, the moon looming above us. Keep reading »
Each year on the first day of school, there were kids who came back as entirely new people. They’d correct the teacher during role call.
“Erin?” the teacher would ask, scanning the room.
“I’m Nikki now,” Erin would say, presumptively going by her middle name.
One girl changed her name so many times that by sixth grade, the only thing left to alter was the pronunciation of her name.
“I’m not Tabitha anymore, I am Tab-eye-tha now.”
There was something admirable about how brave these kids were to just proclaim themselves someone new. I didn’t think I would have the courage to do that. Like most kids, I didn’t love my name but I didn’t loathe it either. I just brooded about how unfair it was to have no control over it. Keep reading »
After hours in front of my laptop, my back is usually gnarled into a “C” shape. I’ve learned to remedy the Ladyblogging Hunchback with some yoga. But this afternoon, when I checked the schedule and read the instructor’s name, Matthew, I started making excuses not to go. I don’t know Matthew, but I might have felt differently if his name were Melissa or Miranda. It isn’t just about my fear of a dude adjusting my warrior pose, it’s a pattern. I have always been like this — with male dentists, doctors, therapists, even Santa Claus. Why am I scared of men? Keep reading »
Recently, a friend sent me a link to a YouTube video called “Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?” I rolled my eyes. I hate that question. It’s heteronormative and sexist, and yet, I clicked anyway.
The video has more than 5 million views. In it, women on a college-campus all say, “Yes! Of course men and women can be friends.” But the college-aged men aren’t sure. They report always wanting “something more.” The women also admit that many of their male friends have crushes on them. Watching, I squirmed in my seat. The video hints at some unnamed truth in the male/female friendship dynamic: the male friend who is in love with you, who you kind of lead on but who you do love, in some way. I understand this phenomenon all too well. Keep reading »