Profile for Rachel Kramer Bussel

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http://www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Girl Talk: I’m A Binge Eater (Sometimes)

Secret Eating
One writer talks about being a secret eater. Read More »
Secret Single Behavior
The 20 things we're kind of ashamed that we do when we're alone. Read More »
Body Dysmorphic Disorder
One woman's experience battling this disorder. Read More »

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at my boyfriend’s living room table, alone, in the middle of a weekday afternoon, my laptop open, trying to fend off both a cold and a bad mood. I was frustrated that I couldn’t pick amongst the multiple documents I had open that required my urgent attention, and angry at myself for feeling tired and frustrated, a vicious cycle of inertia and self-hatred. Rationally, I know that I’m lucky to be able to be my own boss and make my own schedule, so when I fall down on the job, I get upset. I was also antsy because I was in suburbia; I live in New York City, and right outside my door, within a one-block walk, are a bagel shop, a diner, three 24-hour delis, a nail salon, a dry cleaner and more. Where he lives, I can walk for coffee in just five minutes, but I’m pretty much the only one walking. I felt trapped, and stressed, and cranky, and turned to something I thought would soothe those feelings: food. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m Glad My Boyfriend Is Divorced

Awkward Guys Rule
Here are some reasons to love awkward dudes. Read More »
Guys To Date
Here are 18 guys you should give a shot in 2012. Read More »
Men We Need
The 10 kinds of men every woman needs in her life. Read More »

Some women shy away from divorced guys, but I’m grateful my new boyfriend is divorced—or at least, on the way there (he is at the end of the process, in the final stages of paperwork). This is not a situation where someone says they’re getting divorced but is really just having an affair. They’ve been living apart for two years, and I would barely know he’s divorced except that it came up on our first date, one that neither of us knew was a date until the end. “Never get married,” he told me half-jokingly as he described the saga of the paperwork, and I smiled, because I have no plans to. When we started dating more seriously, I realized pretty quickly that I had nothing to feel threatened about, and that in fact, I was reaping the benefits of his divorce. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Date Told Me To Wear More Makeup

He Told Me To Lose Weight
When he told me to lose weight, I got rid of him. Read More »
Online Dating Lies
Here's some of the whoppers people use in their profile. Read More »

A few months ago, I went on two dates with a guy I met on the online dating site OKCupid. We emailed and talked a bit before the first; I was looking forward to meeting him and wanted to look good. I usually date people I’m friends with first, so the blind date aspect of online dating makes me want to put forward a greater first impression. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Thoughts On Panic Attacking

Panic Attacks Explained
Sara Benincasa explains panic attacks in cartoon form. Watch »
I Have...
An essay about suffering from panic attacks. Read More »
Handle It!
How to handle awkward moments without panicking. Read More »

Two days before my birthday last November, I got a facial at my favorite spa. I lay down on the bed, with the paper gown tucked around me, and the technician went about working her magic on my pores. She put a mask on my face and left me to relax for 10 minutes, with cucumbers resting gently over my eyes, the lights dimmed, and soothing music playing. The setting should’ve been everything I needed to stay calm, and it was … for about two minutes. Then my phone beeped, and I saw a text from a friend telling me to check her Twitter stream ASAP. Of course, I was curious, but I couldn’t get a signal, and spent the rest of the “rest period” feeling antsy, continually picking up my phone to see if suddenly service had been restored. The serenity that I look for when I go to the spa, the chance to shut off my mind while getting my skin rejuvenated, wasn’t there, because all I could think about was when I could get out of the room to check my phone. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why I’ll Never Date Another Guy Named “Tom”

Names That Get Lucky
Which names get laid the most? Read More »
Dating Isn't Personal
Ami talks about how she realized dating was not to be taken personally. Read More »
Super Sexy Names
Some names are hotter than others... Read More »

Relatively recently, I dated two men in a row with the same first name—I’ll call them both Tom for the sake of this essay. One I fell in love with, and while I’m mostly over him, I’m not there all the way. Both are guys I was friends with before dating them, and I considered the possibility that the name thing would get weird with Tom 2.0, but I’d had a crush on him, so I overlooked it. They’re fairly different in personality, but the fact that in addition to sharing a name, both Toms have similar body types and professions adds to my sense that men with this name are not my type. Not to mention the fact that after I dated Tom 1.0, I had to keep calling Tom 2.0 by his full name when telling my friends about him, lest anyone get confused. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Are New Friends More Exciting Than Old Friends?

Dump Your Toxic Friend
Life is too short to have friends who suck. Read More »
Friendship Facts
7 things we've learned about friendship since high school. Read More »
New Year, New You
Everything you need to kick 2012 off right. Read More »

The other night, I met a fellow writer at a dinner party. I’d read her work and followed her online but had no idea what she was really like. I think I assumed because she’s 10 years younger than me and, in my mind, part of the “cool” crowd, that we wouldn’t get along, but we did and were soon chatting away about mutual friends and work and gossip and pop culture.

We took the train back to our neighborhood, and she asked if I wanted to get a drink. I realized in that moment that even though it was freezing cold out, I did want to keep talking. The truth is, though, if one of my other friends had suggested getting a drink at 10:30, I probably would’ve begged off with the excuse that I had overdue work waiting for me. That wouldn’t have been a lie—as a freelancer, I always have something hanging over my head—but it could wait an hour or two. In the same way that I might skip a weekly comedy show because I can always go another time but would get tickets to a special one-night-only event, it seemed like I should take advantage of this opportunity because it was something special. Keep reading »

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