Profile for Rachel Kramer Bussel

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Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Recently blogger Lauren of Apples and Band-Aids caused an uproar among bloggers when she wrote a post claiming that racy social media images by sexy female strangers were a threat to her marriage. To wit:

When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will linger over your picture. I worry how he will compare me to you.

As I wrap myself into his arms at night, I wonder if he is seeing you there instead of my mess of a body left over from pregnancy. I wonder if he thinks I’m lazy and that I don’t take good care of myself. I wonder if he wishes I looked more like you than who I really am.

And then the insecurity monster comes back to bite at our relationship again … me, begging for affirmation, and him tiring from saying the same thing over and over.

Keep reading »

True Story: I Prefer Small Penises

True Story: I Prefer Small Penises
Mr. Too Big
Sometimes penis size is a dealbreaker. Read More »

I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year’s contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a crowd and strut his stuff. He told an interviewer, “The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship,” and I wholeheartedly agree. See, I prefer guys who are a little less endowed, with good reason. Firstly, the best lovers I’ve ever had have been on the smaller side, which I don’t think is a coincidence. My hunch is that because these men feel self-conscious about their size (all of them told me as much at some point), they go out of their way to make up for it, excelling at oral sex and making good use of their fingers as well as positions like doggy-style. Keep reading »

The Best & Worst Of Farrah Abraham’s Erotic Novel, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape)

The Best & Worst Of Farrah Abraham's Erotic Novel, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape)

Farrah Abraham excels at being a celebrity, if our working definition is someone who finds a way to keep themselves in the news no matter what. The former ”Teen Mom” star, singer, and tomato sauce social messenger has now parlayed her much-hyped Vivid sex tapes with porn It Boy James Deen, “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom” and “Farrah 2: Backdoor and More,” into an erotic novel trilogy based around them. The first book, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape), which will be published July 1st, comes with a disclaimer at the front of the first book by publisher Ellora’s Cave CEO Patty Marks stating that it “has been carefully written, edited and proofread to ensure that the book has not revealed any actual occurrences or business practices that have not already been publicly revealed or acknowledged.” Perhaps this was a nod to the legal warnings Vivid has supposedly sent her; in the book, the porn company is called HALE’O and is owned by Schmite Hale (who has the same initials as Vivid CEO Steve Hirsch). Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Feminism Deserves Better Than “Sex-Negative Vs. Sex-Positive”

Anti Sex-Positive Feminism
rosie the riveter
On Jillian Horowitz's interview with Thought Catalog about kink. Read More »
Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
Tales Of A Kinky Feminist
bdsm
You can be a kinky feminist and flawed human being. Read More »
The Soapbox: Feminism Deserves Better than “Sex-Negative vs. Sex-Positive”

As a feminist, kinky person and sex commentator, I am the target audience for Jillian Horowitz’s xoJane essay “I’m a Sex-Negative Feminist” — and that’s exactly the point. Part of the site’s “Unpopular Opinion” series, I can only surmise that the essay, like others before it, was written largely with the intention of riling up its supposed targets rather than fostering a nuanced debate.

I’d also quibble with her quickie history lesson—yes, sex-positive feminism in part emerged as a response to anti-porn feminist activism, but it also sprang from the anti-BDSM and anti-lesbian bent of much of mainstream 1970’s and ’80’s feminism. My understanding is that sex-positive feminism was about embracing feminist ideals and furthering sexual freedom—for everyone, not just women. Keep reading »

14 Must-See Hello Kitty Destinations For The Hello Kitty Fanatic

Wanderlust Week
It's time for a vacay! The Frisky can help you find the perfect destination. Read More »

Hello Kitty was born in 1974, and since then, the beloved Sanrio character has only grown in popularity, as evidenced by the plethora of travel options that will fulfill every Hello Kitty lover’s fantasy. To read while you travel: Christine R. Yano’s cultural exploration Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek across the Pacific and to bookmark: Hello Kitty Hell, where you will find the most bizarre Hello Kitty items you can imagine (out of more than 50,000!), from ice cubes to bullets to tooth crowns. New products abound, though; my Google Alert for Hello Kitty is constantly pinging with items like a Hello Kitty surge protector. Can’t get away? You can create your own Hello Kitty home decor with these rub-on Hello Kitty wall graphics. Note: these tips are not necessarily listed in geographic proximity, but are some ideas for how to get your Hello Kitty on around the world. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Lied To My Gynecologist About My Number Of Sexual Partners

Numbers Don't Matter
How many partners she's had is irrelevant. Read More »
What's Your Number?
Here's why I don't care. Read More »
Slut-Shaming Rant
silver linings playbook
It has no "silver lining." Read More »

I didn’t think I was ashamed of the number of sexual partners I’ve had in the 20 years I’ve been getting it on until I found myself filling in a number half the true total at a recent gynecologist appointment. Although I know doctors are trained not to judge, and this doctor in particular had been particularly kind, helpful and professional when I’d seen her previously, in my head, all of a sudden the number (at best an approximation as I haven’t kept an exact count in year) seemed like cause for alarm. Even if I never had to say it out loud and its size was simply one more piece of data for her to use in evaluating me, something about it made me erase what I’d typed in the online form and halve it. As it turned out, she didn’t even ask me a single thing about my number, so that fretting was for naught—except that it taught me a lesson: slut shaming isn’t just something other people do to us, but something we can do to ourselves. Keep reading »

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