Rachel Kramer Bussel

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What I’ve Learned About Size And Body Image By Dating A Fat Man

I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. But during the three years we've been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. How? By being fat and unapologetic. My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / November 22, 2014

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Recently blogger Lauren of Apples and Band-Aids caused an uproar among bloggers when she wrote a post claiming that racy social media images by sexy female strangers were a threat to her marriage. To wit: When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / July 25, 2014

True Story: I Prefer Small Penises

I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year's contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / June 13, 2014

The Best & Worst Of Farrah Abraham’s Erotic Novel, In The Making (Celebrity Sex Tape)

Farrah Abraham excels at being a celebrity, if our working definition is someone who finds a way to keep themselves in the news no matter what. The former "Teen Mom" star, singer, and tomato sauce social messenger has now parlayed her much-hyped Vivid sex tapes with porn It Boy James Deen, "Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom" and…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / June 11, 2014

The Soapbox: Feminism Deserves Better Than “Sex-Negative Vs. Sex-Positive”

As a feminist, kinky person and sex commentator, I am the target audience for Jillian Horowitz’s xoJane essay "I’m a Sex-Negative Feminist" — and that’s exactly the point. Part of the site’s "Unpopular Opinion" series, I can only surmise that the essay, like others before it, was written largely with the intention of…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / July 11, 2013

14 Must-See Hello Kitty Destinations For The Hello Kitty Fanatic

Hello Kitty was born in 1974, and since then, the beloved Sanrio character has only grown in popularity, as evidenced by the plethora of travel options that will fulfill every Hello Kitty lover’s fantasy. To read while you travel: Christine R. Yano’s cultural exploration Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek across the Pacific and to bookmark:…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / April 29, 2013

Girl Talk: I Lied To My Gynecologist About My Number Of Sexual Partners

I didn't think I was ashamed of the number of sexual partners I've had in the 20 years I've been getting it on until I found myself filling in a number half the true total at a recent gynecologist appointment. Although I know doctors are trained not to judge, and this doctor in particular had…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / March 14, 2013

The Soapbox: What Calorie-Obsessed Vogue Diet Mom Dara-Lynn Weiss Ignores In Her Memoir The Heavy

Dara-Lynn Weiss, the woman who became infamous for writing in Vogue about putting her daughter on a diet, wants it both ways: she repeats over and over in her new memoir The Heavy: A Mother, A Daughter, A Diet, how much she loves every inch of her daughter, including her pesky belly, but then painstakingly…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / January 17, 2013

Girl Talk: Taking A Pregnancy Test At 36

The first time I bought a pregnancy test I was 17. I'd gotten my period but was so new at the whole sex thing, not to mention paranoid, that I wanted to be sure. We hadn't used condoms, but instead a small, see-through film that hardly seemed like it was going to do its job.

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / September 13, 2012

Girl Talk: Why Checking Your Partner’s Email And Phone Is Not Smart

Recently, Jools Oliver, wife of chef Jamie Oliver, and writer Samantha Brick both proudly declared that they check their husbands' emails and phones regularly, and credit their successful marriages in part to such snooping. Oliver said that even though she monitors her husband's email, phone and Twitter account, "He says I’m a jealous girl, but…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / August 3, 2012

Girl Talk: I Don’t Have A Dating Checklist

In the preview for Bravo's upcoming reality show "Miss Advised," internet personality Julia Allison boldly exclaims that she's looking for a husband and has a 73-point checklist. When I heard that, my immediate thought was that I've never had a checklist, and even when I've set vague goals for the types of people I wanted…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / June 4, 2012

The Soapbox: Leave Lolo Jones And Her Virginity Alone!

I have to respectfully disagree with Alexandra Gekas' recent Soapbox excoriating Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones for considering her virginity "a gift I want to give my husband." Taking Jones to task for how she's decided to pursue her sexuality strikes me as yet another way to be holier-than-thou, through a feminist lens, almost the opposite of…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / June 1, 2012

Girl Talk: I’m A Binge Eater (Sometimes)

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at my boyfriend's living room table, alone, in the middle of a weekday afternoon, my laptop open, trying to fend off both a cold and a bad mood. I was frustrated that I couldn't pick amongst the multiple documents I had open that required my urgent attention, and…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / April 10, 2012

Girl Talk: I’m Glad My Boyfriend Is Divorced

Some women shy away from divorced guys, but I'm grateful my new boyfriend is divorced—or at least, on the way there (he is at the end of the process, in the final stages of paperwork). This is not a situation where someone says they're getting divorced but is really just having an affair. They've bee…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / April 5, 2012

Girl Talk: My Date Told Me To Wear More Makeup

A few months ago, I went on two dates with a guy I met on the online dating site OKCupid. We emailed and talked a bit before the first; I was looking forward to meeting him and wanted to look good. I usually date people I'm friends with first, so the blind date aspect of…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / February 27, 2012

Girl Talk: Thoughts On Panic Attacking

Two days before my birthday last November, I got a facial at my favorite spa. I lay down on the bed, with the paper gown tucked around me, and the technician went about working her magic on my pores. She put a mask on my face and left me to relax for 10 minutes, with…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / January 23, 2012

Girl Talk: Why I’ll Never Date Another Guy Named “Tom”

Relatively recently, I dated two men in a row with the same first name—I'll call them both Tom for the sake of this essay. One I fell in love with, and while I'm mostly over him, I'm not there all the way. Both are guys I was friends with before dating them, and I considered…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / January 18, 2012

Girl Talk: Are New Friends More Exciting Than Old Friends?

The other night, I met a fellow writer at a dinner party. I'd read her work and followed her online but had no idea what she was really like. I think I assumed because she's 10 years younger than me and, in my mind, part of the "cool" crowd, that we wouldn't get along, but…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / January 12, 2012

Girl Talk: Let’s Talk About Negging

I was at the bar at the Mandarin Oriental in Las Vegas enjoying a glass of champagne and having an intense one-in-the-morning chat with a new friend about raising kids (she's a mom, I want to be one) when a young, casually-dressed guy came over and put his hand on both our backs. He wa…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / December 22, 2011

Girl Talk: I’ve Got “Recovery Envy”

I'm not an addict, and I'm not an alcoholic. But as offensive as this may sound, I sometimes I wish I were, if only so I could have a language and a community to help me deal with what often seem like out of control urges—a structure surrounding me to help me cope with, well,…

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel / November 18, 2011

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