I couldn’t feasibly be any less interested in Lady Gaga‘s Vogue cover. Frankly, I’m shocked that Anna Wintour would even go for it, considering that Gaga is so appallingly uninteresting at this point to everybody except her harem of zealots. I would rather see literally anybody, even Lea Michele, on the September issue. Okay, so maybe not Lea Michele, but why not throw Yo-Landi Vi$$er up there if you’re trying to get weird while remaining reasonably attractive and blonde? Have you never heard music before, that you think Lady Gaga is the poster child for, like, counter-culture and originality? Come at me, little monsters. I get that the message she tries to spread is “love and acceptance,” and hear me out: I am not opposed to love and acceptance, but I am strongly, fundamentally opposed to try-hards. Also, people who refer to themselves in the third person. Hate.
You know what would be really different for Vogue? Putting an actual model on the cover or, you know, a woman who can make herself compelling without wearing 10 Halloween costumes put together while declaring herself “a walking piece of art.” Yes, I resent the hell out of Lady Gaga. Whatever. [NY Mag.com]
I love that the photo agency calls this “Kim’s stylish departure.” Does anyone actually think this is stylish other than Kanye West? By the way, this is the $6,000 pair of shoes that made it to the Paris news. Don’t talk about style ’cause I embarrass you. God, these people are RIDICULOUS. I can’t believe they’re real!
Matte red lipstick and a cat-eye flick of liner is hands down the most classic look out there if you’re seeking to channel an Old Hollywood starlet — and really, who isn’t? — but it’s also the easiest to get wrong. There are very, very few people who can work a face that’s so “done” in that both the eyes and lips are heavily accentuated, but British singer Paloma Faith pulled it off perfectly. Note how fine the line is extending past the eye, the slight sheerness (and perfect application — use a lip brush!) of the tomato-y red, and how the rest of her face is fresh and dewy. It’s absolutely key to skip powder and let the skin’s natural radiance shine through to keep the look young and avoid “retro” trappings. Keep blotting papers on hand to address oil in the T-zone, but believe it or not, this look actually benefits from a little bit of shine provided it’s under control.
If you want to give it a try, the brand new Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick in Raven, $28, is the perfect velvety crimson that won’t fade, budge, or sap the moisture out of lips as matte formulas are wont to do. Use tinted moisturizer in place of foundation over an instant-radiance serum like Clinique Turnaround Concentrate Radiance Renewer, $45.
Talia Joy Castellano has makeup chops far beyond her years. The 12-year-old has over 100,000 YouTube subscribers for a reason: she’s exceptionally good at doing her face, and her clever, vivacious onscreen personality makes her step-by-step tutorials a pleasure to watch. If not for her baldness, one would never guess that Talia carries an immense and unfathomable weight that nobody, let alone a child, should have to experience. Keep reading »
Exfoliation is one of the most important things you can do for your skin, but the approach has changed immensely over the past couple of years. Whereas a simple scrub once sufficed, we now have endless options that range from chemical exfoliators (like acids and peels) to intense, deep-cleansing physical tools (like the ever-popular Clarisonic). Yes, “chemical peel” is a terrifying name and concept, but its bark is far worse than its bite: while peels were once strictly relegated to the offices of cosmetic specialists, today’s at-home formulas use fruit-derived enzymes and plant extracts to smooth, clarify, and encourage cell turnover to dramatically reduce signs of aging.
Swiss luxury skincare brand La Prairie offers innovative “professional level” (their quotes, not mine) exfoliating technology with their Cellular Resurfacing 3-Minute Peel, but at $210 for a small jar, the price alone might induce more fine lines than it promises to erase (and skincare naturalists like myself will be put off by the fact that a full list of ingredients can be found … nowhere). This is where Murad Intensive-C® Radiance Peel comes in: at $49.50, it’s less than 1/4 the price of La Prairie’s version, and you can actually feel the active enzymes as they work their brightening, hydrating, pore-shrinking witchcraft. La who, now?
Listen, I’ve never thought of Pink (binomial: P!nk) as a particularly well-dressed person, but this is a new low nonetheless. On the bright side, I like her pastel quiff! Seriously though, am I overreacting or is this actually one of the most unseemly dresses ever created? You decide.
The first step to getting over a problem is admitting that you have one. Now that we’ve divulged our summer beauty routines, I figured it was time to give up the goods on the five-step program that keeps my naturally oily skin looking summertime fly, and by that I mean dry. If you’re having grease problems, I feel bad for you, son, but I can almost guarantee that mine are worse than yours, especially during the hottest months of the year when sweat exacerbates the issue. My face practically screams, “Drill me.”
With years of market research (sometimes referred to as “shopping at Sephora”), I’ve found that the best way to treat my reactive, combination-to-oily skin and keep it under control is by supplementing my sensitive skin wash-and-tone routine with sebum-fighting powerhouses that simultaneously work to clear up blemishes. Most of them will get you matte in a pinch, and others help with oil production and congestion in the long run. Use one or all of these five tried-and-true slick-solvers, blot throughout the day as necessary, and revel in your miraculously matte complexion. Now isn’t that a relief?
And just when you thought you had heard the last from me regarding Choupette Lagerfeld, you were so woefully wrong! Allow me to explain myself: cat love is my number one interest and priority above all other things, and I also really adore the kooky Chanel designer‘s flippantly offensive attitude, despite my awareness of the fact that if we did so happen to cross paths he would probably just write me off as having a “bad face,” as in the case of one Pippa Middleton, or “fat,” as in the case of everyone else ever. I wouldn’t even care, man, so long as he would let me smooch his darling cat right on the nose. Keep reading »
Jennifer Garner is one of those actresses that I love inexplicably insofar as I have literally never seen any film or TV show she has ever been in. (In my defense, I am easily bored and I feel like Jennifer Garner might actually be a little boring, not that there is anything wrong with that.) Given that all I really know of her is that she’s pretty, has adorable children, and seems very sweet, I like Jennifer on that basis. The other day, however, I came upon the trailer for “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” while watching “Hollywood Exes” (no shame), and I know it’s a children’s movie and all but I got a little bit of eye water. Is that so wrong? Well, I’ll be seeing it. You don’t have to come. Keep reading »