I am what one might call a leisurely bather. If one wished for some reason to paint me in a less flattering light, “bathroom hog” may or may not be the term best used to describe my habits. I can say with all honesty that I have never taken a shower in under 20 minutes; my ideal duration ranges from 45 minutes to an hour. I don’t necessarily want to take that long, it’s just that with all the shampooing, deep conditioning, exfoliating, shaving, Clarisonic-ing, and cleansing required to keep me looking just barely presentable, there’s no way I’m getting in and out of there in 15 minutes. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is, and I definitely don’t feel guilty about making you wait outside the bathroom door for four hours. I will, however, cop to feeling the tiniest bit sheepish about the havoc I’m wreaking on the environment as a result of my over-indulgent tendencies. While I absolutely under no circumstances do not want this Shower Coach 5-Minute Shower Timer (I have enough passage-of-time anxiety already), it would probably be a wise $2.99 investment on my part. And hey, just because the sands of time are not shifting in my favor doesn’t mean I actually have to get out, right? [Complex]
Selena Gomez is 20 now, right? And the expiration date on her devil’s pact with Disney has passed, right? Okay, good. So that means it’s fine, and totally legal, to say that she looks insanely hot wearing this Atelier Versace pantsuit at the “Spring Breakers” premiere in Germany. This look is the perfect combination of fashion-y “girl hot” (it’s a gold-embellished pinstripe pantsuit) and “guy hot” (that, uh, sternum is pretty killer). Selena is freakin’ gorgeous, and I can’t wait to see what she does sans Bieber. I mean, poor Justin. At least he has sizzurp (and his boys “Lil Za” and “Lil Twist”) to keep him warm at night.
The 85th Academy Awards are this Sunday, and some of our favorite actresses have been nominated to take home the gold. We couldn’t be more proud of their career achievements… but we also want to know, what are they going to wear? Or more accurately, we want them to know what we think they should wear. Got that? We can’t count on Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence, Naomi Watts, Amy Adams, and Anne Hathaway heeding our attempts at styling, but there’s no harm in trying. If I were dressing these five Oscar nominees, here’s what I would put them in…
“Lost in Translation” is one of my favorite movies, because of course it is. I am either a walking stereotype (entirely possible) or I just really want to be the Charlotte to Bill Murray‘s Bob Harris (yes, 1,000 times yes; I’m super weird about Bill Murray). If you’ve seen it (and if you haven’t, do that), you’ll recall that aging American movie star Bob Harris travels to Tokyo to film a high-paying commercial spot for a whisky company called Suntory. With that said, I encourage you to watch this 17-second Japanese Jim Beam ad featuring aging American movie star Leonardo DiCaprio. Tell me what you think. “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.”
I will say this: Leo appears exponentially more chipper than Bob Harris did in his clip, but who knows what he’s really got brewing inside? (Leonardo DiCaprio’s Internal Monologue: “Models. Models. Models. Blondes. Save elephants. Save tigers. Models. Save models.”) [Vulture]
See, even Michelle Williams has to deal with that awkward stage between having a pixie cut and… not having a pixie cut. It’s pretty cool that she’s choosing to wear the length as is (which is admittedly kind of Kate Gosselin-esque, no?) without going the extensions route, which she could so easily do. Don’t worry, Michelle, you still look adorable! I’d still marry you, and that Jason Segel lad, too! Take me in as your concubine! I’ll meet you in Red Hook! Creepy? Creepy. [Photo: WENN]
Legendary punk designer Vivienne Westwood has a flair for the colorful, the dramatic, the outlandish, the shocking, the absurd… but certainly not the tame. Nor the shy, for that matter: everything Vivienne touches, from her flaming orange hair to her punk-infused collections, is intended to Make A Statement. It’s kind of her MO. For her latest venture, the Autumn 2013 show for her eponymous Red Label, the British visionary sent models down the runway in what would best be described as… cartoon makeup. Saturated primary colors, exaggerated outlines done in stark black or white, and blanked-out faces resulted in a look that was very “Roy Lichtenstein goes to the kabuki.” This is a Look with a capital “L” that should not be attempted off the catwalk, but as for on it? It was a hit — and it provided the perfect foil for Vivienne’s soft metallics and loose, lovely grunge-girl knits.