Profile for Rachel Krause

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I Can’t Quite Put My Finger On What The Aerial View Of This Church Resembles

Aerial view of Christian Science church looks like a penis

Christian Scientists are not known for their sense of humor, but have a look at this bird’s-eye view of the Christian Science Society of Dixon, Illinois, and tell me that God isn’t laughing right about now. Furthermore, the congregation’s slogan is “rising up.” All of the jokes have already been made. I didn’t even have to do a damn thing. [via Gawker]

Britney Spears Is Apparently British For Halloween

Britney Spears does... something for Halloween
Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween from Britney Spears and her Madonna-esque faux-English accent, which she utilizes to recite the opening monologue of “Thriller” while cavorting, uh, creepily alongside green-screen ghouls and graveyards. I don’t completely understand what I’ve just seen, but Bert-Bert looks conscious, which is ALWAYS a good thing. [Jezebel]

Jude Law Gets His (NSFW-ish) Butt Out For “Dom Hemingway”

Jude Law stars in "Dom Hemingway"
Dom Hemingway!

I always manage to forget that Jude Law is actually a terrific actor. “The Talented Mr. Ripley”? “I Heart Huckabees”? “Closer”? So good! Jude’s latest role is as the titular “Dom Hemingway,” a gangster free after 12 years in prison, trawling the streets of London to collect what he’s rightfully owed. Richard E. Grant, Demian Bichir, and “Game of Thrones” beauty (and Frisky favorite) Emilia Clarke also star in what looks to be a violent, vulgar, and shockingly hilarious new film. “Dom Hemingway” premiered in London last night, but it won’t hit American theaters until next April. In the meantime, let’s hope this cheeky (literally) trailer can hold us over. Not safe for work, unless your place of work, like mine, is firmly pro-Jude Law’s naked bum. [via Celebitchy]

This Fake “Lord Of The Rings” Subway Service Advisory Poster Isn’t All That Far From The Truth

"Lord of the Rings" fake subway service advisory

Relying on the New York City subway system is sometimes like relying on a three-legged, one-eyed horse for all of your transportation needs. Trying to get from my apartment off the G train to a friend’s apartment off the L train on a Saturday evening is a trip that should theoretically take 20 minutes, but instead involves a half-mile walk and piling onto a shuttle bus packed with 200 other miserable, sweaty hipsters shouting at the sad-looking old people who happen to be standing by the doors. In particular, ever since Hurricane Sandy hit a year ago, trying to get from one place to another has been like trying to get to fucking Mordor. Keep reading »

Surprise! Footage From Kanye West’s Proposal To Kim Kardashian Has Surfaced

Surprise! Footage From Kanye West's Proposal To Kim Kardashian Has Surfaced
Where's Baby North?

What, did you really think footage of Kanye West‘s histrionic proposal to Kim Kardashian (“PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!!”) wouldn’t make it to the Internet in less time than it took for us to fully grasp just how foolish it is for Kanye not to insist upon a prenup? Trick question: nobody will EVER fully grasp the absurdity of that decision. So here it is, y’all, the “leaked” reel, shot by YouTube co-founder Chad Hurley, of the “greatest moments” from the super-intimate occasion. Naturally — naturally — much of it is set to Kanye’s own music. [Dlisted]

Pharrell Williams, 40, Knows The Importance Of Skincare

Pharrell Williams knows the importance of skincare

“You have to clean your face. You can’t sit around and assume it’s going to be OK. I wash my face every day — don’t be afraid to wash yours before you go to bed! … At the end of the day, you just have to take care of your face. I’m being honest with you.”

— This information from Pharrell Williams is absolutely critical, and do you know why? It is critical because that man, yes, the man pictured above, is FORTY YEARS OLD. Most dudes, in my experience, just don’t grasp the importance of washing one’s face, but Pharrell does, and it’s obviously paid off. Cleansing, toning, and moisturizing: it’s not just for the ladiez! [Into The Gloss]

The Kitten Bowl Is Here, And It’s Smarter, Cleaner, And More Agile Than The Puppy Bowl

The Hallmark Channel will host the Kitten Bowl

The Puppy Bowl is cool and all, but there’s only so long I can watch a bunch of dogs tumbling around before I’m like, “Where them kittens at?” The Hallmark Channel must have heard my plaintive brays, because they confirmed that they will be staging a Kitten Bowl come Super Bowl Sunday 2014. (Also, they announced this back in April, but I must have missed it so I’m going to go ahead and assume you did too.) The network has just announced that Beth Stern (that’s Howard’s wife) will host, Yankees radio announcer John Sterling will give the play-by-play, and — this is the best part — the festivities, featuring 60 to 70 kittens, will run from noon to 9 p.m. It’s perfect, because watching kittens on television is literally the only thing I could feasibly enjoy doing for nine hours straight. [Vulture] [Image of mother cat and kittens via Shutterstock]

’60s Icon Twiggy Is Still Gorgeous At 64

Twiggy is still modeling at 64

I wouldn’t be amiss in suggesting that Twiggy is the most iconic supermodel of all time. Before Kate, before Naomi, before Cindy, before Iman, there was Twiggy, the O.G. clothes hanger. We have her to thank for the “swinging sixties” aesthetic of long, coltish legs, wide, heavily lashed eyes, and teeny mod minidresses. Unlike most contemporary models, whose careers are all but fleeting (do they expire at 22?), Twiggy’s continuous influence has pervaded over the past four decades. And now, at 64, the better-than-ever Lesley Lawson is featured as the model for her own Twiggy for Marks & Spencer collection. The line for the British retailer is all about leather, both real and faux, and while we can’t attest to how well the pieces hold up in real life, we can say that they sure look good on Twiggy. [Huffington Post]

Kim Kardashian’s 10 Most Kim Kardashian Looks, Rated On The Kanye Scale

After sifting through the Kim Kardashian photographic lexicon in order to narrow down these 10 most Kim Kardashian outfits ever worn by Kim Kardashian, I have reason to believe that the Internet is comprised at least 50 percent of Kim Kardashian photos. There are sooooooooo many. There are event photos, there are party photos, there are posed paparazzi photos none-too-subtly masquerading as “candids” from back when, ugh, Kim had to call the paparazzi on herself. But since Kanye West entered the Kim scene early last year, there are significantly fewer shots of Kim and Kris trying on every necklace in every store on jaunts to Europe. Those of us who are masochistic enough to keep up with the Kardashians weekly also know that Kanye’s utmost passion has been enabling and advising his girl’s sartorial metamorphosis, from low-budget leopard print aficionado to polished upscale adult.

The transformation has been a JOY, to say the least, but we admit we kind of miss the old Kim — you know, Kim the Bebe designer, Kim the Quick Trim rep, Kim the cornrow-wearer … Kanye would never allow these things. In the spirit of nostalgia AND KIM’S 33RD BIRTHDAY!!!!!!, we’re giving you Kim Kardashian’s 10 most (pre-Kanye) Kim Kardashian looks of all time, rated as we imagine Kanye would rate them … on a scale from one to five Kanyes. We call this the Kanye Scale.

Anna Wintour Is Rumored To Be Courting Lena Dunham For A Vogue Cover

Anna Wintour Is Rumored To Be Courting Lena Dunham For A Vogue Cover

Lena Dunham is just about as divisive a celebrity as they come. As seemingly harmless as she is, there’s still a faction of people, young and old, who cannot stand her. Seriously, with the way some armchair critics react to Dunham, you would think she straight-up murdered someone’s grandma’s puppy. But one thing that’s inarguable, even amongst the haterz, is that since “Girls” first premiered in early 2012, Lena Dunham has been eeeeeeverywhere: she’s won Golden Globes, she’s opened the Emmys, she’s coordinated nail art with Zooey Deschanel, she’s scored a $3.7 million book deal, she’s milked a cow in a NYC street (and we still don’t know why). Throughout all this, Dunham has by and large been pigeonholed as the “average girl,” the “relatable girl,” even (and still!!) as the “fat girl.” We wonder, how would a rumored Vogue cover affect that? Keep reading »

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