Relying on the New York City subway system is sometimes like relying on a three-legged, one-eyed horse for all of your transportation needs. Trying to get from my apartment off the G train to a friend’s apartment off the L train on a Saturday evening is a trip that should theoretically take 20 minutes, but instead involves a half-mile walk and piling onto a shuttle bus packed with 200 other miserable, sweaty hipsters shouting at the sad-looking old people who happen to be standing by the doors. In particular, ever since Hurricane Sandy hit a year ago, trying to get from one place to another has been like trying to get to fucking Mordor. Keep reading »
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What, did you really think footage of Kanye West‘s histrionic proposal to Kim Kardashian (“PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!!”) wouldn’t make it to the Internet in less time than it took for us to fully grasp just how foolish it is for Kanye not to insist upon a prenup? Trick question: nobody will EVER fully grasp the absurdity of that decision. So here it is, y’all, the “leaked” reel, shot by YouTube co-founder Chad Hurley, of the “greatest moments” from the super-intimate occasion. Naturally — naturally — much of it is set to Kanye’s own music. [Dlisted]
“You have to clean your face. You can’t sit around and assume it’s going to be OK. I wash my face every day — don’t be afraid to wash yours before you go to bed! … At the end of the day, you just have to take care of your face. I’m being honest with you.”
— This information from Pharrell Williams is absolutely critical, and do you know why? It is critical because that man, yes, the man pictured above, is FORTY YEARS OLD. Most dudes, in my experience, just don’t grasp the importance of washing one’s face, but Pharrell does, and it’s obviously paid off. Cleansing, toning, and moisturizing: it’s not just for the ladiez! [Into The Gloss]
The Puppy Bowl is cool and all, but there’s only so long I can watch a bunch of dogs tumbling around before I’m like, “Where them kittens at?” The Hallmark Channel must have heard my plaintive brays, because they confirmed that they will be staging a Kitten Bowl come Super Bowl Sunday 2014. (Also, they announced this back in April, but I must have missed it so I’m going to go ahead and assume you did too.) The network has just announced that Beth Stern (that’s Howard’s wife) will host, Yankees radio announcer John Sterling will give the play-by-play, and — this is the best part — the festivities, featuring 60 to 70 kittens, will run from noon to 9 p.m. It’s perfect, because watching kittens on television is literally the only thing I could feasibly enjoy doing for nine hours straight. [Vulture] [Image of mother cat and kittens via Shutterstock]
I wouldn’t be amiss in suggesting that Twiggy is the most iconic supermodel of all time. Before Kate, before Naomi, before Cindy, before Iman, there was Twiggy, the O.G. clothes hanger. We have her to thank for the “swinging sixties” aesthetic of long, coltish legs, wide, heavily lashed eyes, and teeny mod minidresses. Unlike most contemporary models, whose careers are all but fleeting (do they expire at 22?), Twiggy’s continuous influence has pervaded over the past four decades. And now, at 64, the better-than-ever Lesley Lawson is featured as the model for her own Twiggy for Marks & Spencer collection. The line for the British retailer is all about leather, both real and faux, and while we can’t attest to how well the pieces hold up in real life, we can say that they sure look good on Twiggy. [Huffington Post]
After sifting through the Kim Kardashian photographic lexicon in order to narrow down these 10 most Kim Kardashian outfits ever worn by Kim Kardashian, I have reason to believe that the Internet is comprised at least 50 percent of Kim Kardashian photos. There are sooooooooo many. There are event photos, there are party photos, there are posed paparazzi photos none-too-subtly masquerading as “candids” from back when, ugh, Kim had to call the paparazzi on herself. But since Kanye West entered the Kim scene early last year, there are significantly fewer shots of Kim and Kris trying on every necklace in every store on jaunts to Europe. Those of us who are masochistic enough to keep up with the Kardashians weekly also know that Kanye’s utmost passion has been enabling and advising his girl’s sartorial metamorphosis, from low-budget leopard print aficionado to polished upscale adult.
The transformation has been a JOY, to say the least, but we admit we kind of miss the old Kim — you know, Kim the Bebe designer, Kim the Quick Trim rep, Kim the cornrow-wearer … Kanye would never allow these things. In the spirit of nostalgia AND KIM’S 33RD BIRTHDAY!!!!!!, we’re giving you Kim Kardashian’s 10 most (pre-Kanye) Kim Kardashian looks of all time, rated as we imagine Kanye would rate them … on a scale from one to five Kanyes. We call this the Kanye Scale.
Lena Dunham is just about as divisive a celebrity as they come. As seemingly harmless as she is, there’s still a faction of people, young and old, who cannot stand her. Seriously, with the way some armchair critics react to Dunham, you would think she straight-up murdered someone’s grandma’s puppy. But one thing that’s inarguable, even amongst the haterz, is that since “Girls” first premiered in early 2012, Lena Dunham has been eeeeeeverywhere: she’s won Golden Globes, she’s opened the Emmys, she’s coordinated nail art with Zooey Deschanel, she’s scored a $3.7 million book deal, she’s milked a cow in a NYC street (and we still don’t know why). Throughout all this, Dunham has by and large been pigeonholed as the “average girl,” the “relatable girl,” even (and still!!) as the “fat girl.” We wonder, how would a rumored Vogue cover affect that? Keep reading »
In theory, this video of “celebrity cat impersonator” Betsy Bushytail giving us her best Maru should be something I enjoy. It sure sounds like something I’d enjoy, right? But I don’t. I hate it. It’s creepy and horrible and feels like something I should not have seen, like I’ve been violated or am violating in some way. Since one cannot go about unseeing things they have already seen, the only option that remains is to go with the next best decision and share it with you. [via Buzzfeed]
Let’s get one thing straight: I would not permit the bros behind YouTube channel Simple Pickup to motorboat me for any amount of money for any cause. That would be a resounding NO. In the name of breast cancer awareness, however, the guys managed to persuade over 100 women into allowing one of them to squeeze their breasts together, stick his face between them, and, well, motorboat ‘em.
Unlike the rest of the Simple Pickup “pranks,” which range from videos of them harassing strangers at gay-pride parades to tips and advice for “guys like you” to “get laid” (ew), this one is seemingly not only harmless, but well-intentioned: they’ll donate $20 for every woman who lets them get on in there. They made $2,080, but this clip is little more than yet another installment in the growing case of taking Breast Cancer Awareness Month and turning it into a sexualized sham that’s more about letting weird dudes grab your tits than cancer prevention, and there’s no glory in that. In fact, some of Simple Pickup’s tougher online critics call for the group to be called out by law enforcement for sexual (and otherwise) harassment. No way, man, they’re just trying to help “guys like you” to “get laid,” right?! It’s totally honorable! [The Daily Dot]
“That Awkward Moment” — does a more cringeworthy name for an otherwise redeemable movie exist? (What’s that? The original title was “Are We Officially Dating?” Oh, okay, never mind then.) At first glance, it seems like little more than your standard terrible “bros party and get with hot chicks” fare, but I don’t know! This trailer is kind of charming, and it’s definitely no “Superbad.” Actually, I’m pretty sure this is a movie about guys havin’ feelings, which is weird.
Zac Efron stars as a casual dude living with his two male friends (played by Miles Teller and the always excellent Michael B. Jordan) as they all struggle to stay single. Yes, they are struggling with this. The title, I gather, is taken from “that awkward moment” in every “dating relationship” where you have to decide where it’s all going. That moment, to me, is less awkward and more like “that dry-heaving moment.” I’m gagging just thinking about it. But if all you’re looking for is some hit-it-and-quit-it visual man candy this morning, well, we’ve got Zac naked laying horizontally across a toilet for you. He later straps on a fake dick for what he thinks is a costume party. (It isn’t.) Will see! [Gossip Cop]