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5 Subtle Signals Guys Won’t Pick Up On

Men are not the masters of the subtle. We’re the sex that laughs at farts and watches Jean-Claude Van Damme movies, and we wouldn’t know subtlety if it hit us over the head with a brick (which it probably wouldn’t do, since, you know, it’s subtlety and all).

As such, many of us have problems when it comes to dealing with women. Women communicate very subtly, and guys are looking for something more along the lines of a large neon sign declaring that you’re willing to sleep with us or that you’d like to see us thrown through a plate glass window.

The prices of neon and plate glass are through the roof though. So, until we learn to communicate better, here’s a look at a few of the more subtle signals a woman might send that a guy will completely miss. Keep reading »

4 Sex Acts Guys Think They’d Enjoy (But Won’t)

Men look at sex the way dogs look at bacon: The object is to get as much as possible in any form or by any means before our inevitable deaths.

Some of the more inventive people in our society have come up with a variety of sex acts intended to improve the pleasure of sex. But messing around with sex is like trying to improve the taste of bacon; you can try, but, ultimately, bacon is just good. Some sex simply sounds much better on paper than it turns out to be, often leaving guys wishing they’d just gone with some basic intercourse instead.

Here’s a look at a few sex acts that guys are convinced would be awesome, but in real life turn out to be pretty disappointing. Keep reading »

4 Celebrated Sex Positions That Men Aren’t Really Into

Sex is really not that complicated, and many attempts from so-called “sexperts” to “spice it up” with a variety of positions end up making things overly complex. Now, men are in no position (pun intended) to complain, and there really aren’t any sex positions that we won’t appreciate. It’s like going to the Super Bowl: We’re happy to be there; we’re not going to complain about the tickets. I’m just saying that basic sex positions are by no means boring. There’s a reason that the “odd” positions aren’t the most popular — they can sometimes be dangerous, uncomfortable or, in rare occasions, life-threatening. We’ll still love it, though.

With that being said, here’s a look at some common sex positions that men don’t necessarily appreciate in the way that sex columnists tend to indicate that we do. Keep reading »

4 Sex Myths That Most Guys Believe

Many men have some very disturbed ideas about sex and biology. For instance, a good friend of mine spent years believing that girls pee out their butts; he thought this until he was age 21. He was a certified EMT.

The subtler sex myths, though, may be the most damaging ones. They can ruin relationships and sex lives, even if they seem extremely obvious. Here’s a look at a few of the more common sex myths that a large number of guys tend to believe.
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Take It From Him: 4 Compliments That Guys Take As Insults

Men can be remarkably thin-skinned. Sometimes even a compliment will send us reeling. We think things through too much (which might not ring true with what you think of guys, but stay with me here). Even the nicest thing can be misconstrued as an attack on our manhood and genitalia, which are inextricably linked, and we’ll retire to hours of crying on the couch while drinking and watching football, thinking about the horrible, horrible things that you’ve said.

Well, maybe not to that extreme. I can promise you that we will drink and watch football though. Here’s a look at some common compliments that guys will often take as insults.
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5 Sexual Tips From Cosmo That You Should Never, Ever Try Under Any Circumstances Ever (Ever)

Most guys look at Cosmopolitan magazine the same way that women tend to look at Maxim — as a ridiculous, over-the-top, hyperbole-filled look at sex that has no bearing on actual real-life relationships.

Yet, men still read Maxim (or look at it and grunt), and women still revel in Cosmo‘s softcore porn-filled pages. But while many of Cosmo‘s columns are relatively harmless, the “Things to Try In Bed” features are occasionally so far off track that they threaten to ruin relationships and mental health.

From a guy’s perspective, here’s a look at a few of Cosmo‘s most insane, useless sexual tips and why you should never try them, after the jump. Keep reading »

5 Ways Women Try To Impress Men (And Why They Don’t Work)

Women do a lot of silly things to try to impress men; I know this, because men do a lot of ridiculous things to impress women, too. It’s like the circle of life, only it ends with quiet sobbing into a pillow.

The elements of sexual attraction aren’t too complex. Though, even accepted societal norms for picking up a guy often miss the mark because women overthink things. Here’s a look at some of the most surefire ways that women think that they can impress a guy — and why they’ll fail miserably every time.

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Take It From Him: If He’s Not On The Market, You Should Shop Elsewhere

I once told my mother about a girl I had a crush on. At the time, I think I was about 16, and I had so much acne that if I fell asleep at a library, when I woke up, a blind guy would be trying to read my face.

“Just go for her,” my mother said.

“It’s not that simple,” I said, while filling out my order form for 25 crates of Noxzema. “She’s got a boyfriend.” Keep reading »

10 Reasons He Didn’t Ask You Out On A Second Date

Guys can be fickle, or, as the French say, “huge jerks who don’t call women back.” Sometimes, though, we’ve got a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone. After the jump, why men might not call you back for that second date. Keep reading »

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