Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is treated as a woman’s holiday. This sexist interpretation is due to the whole love-is-for-the-ladies thing that has been a part of American culture for the last hundred years or so. The classic image of the holiday is a man showing up on a woman’s doorstep with flowers and candy, and nearly every Valentine’s Day product out there is marketed toward men on the assumption that they’re the ones doing the buying around the 14th.
At its heart, though, Valentine’s Day is meant for couples, and last time we checked there were two people in a couple (sometimes three, depending on the laws in your state). Men should really enjoy the holiday as much as women, but for whatever reason, they tend to turn against it. Maybe it’s the actual date that makes us so anti-Valentine’s Day.
Here’s a look at an ideal way to spend Valentine’s Day, from a man’s perspective. Keep reading »
When Feb. 14 looms over us like the grim specter of Death itself, men react in a rational way: We do everything that we possibly can to find someone to date us as soon as possible. Regardless of whether we like, dislike, or want to kill a person, we’ll go out with her rather than spend Valentine’s Day alone.
Sure, most of us are aware that it’s a corporate holiday designed to sap money from consumer pockets into the pockets of the greeting card, flower, and pornography industries. However, its secondary function is to make a good half of society feel lonely and depressed for not joining in. Guys are hit pretty hard. Here’s how our average Valentine’s Day goes when we’re single … Keep reading »
Valentine’s Day is the holiday of love (or crass commercialism, depending on whom you talk to). However, things can get a little bit awkward when Feb. 14 rolls around and you’ve been dating someone very casually. There’s a lot of pressure on V-Day to bring a relationship to the next level, but sometimes you’re just not ready for that.
Of course, you could fake your own death. However, you might not have access to a boat and enough dynamite to get the job done correctly. In these rare situations, you’ve got to do what you can to tone down the date itself, in order to avoid any awkwardness. Here are a few tips to help you out. Keep reading »
The one-night stand is a great American tradition in which two people have awkward sex that both will regret immediately. Most people have had one or two one-night stands, and they’re certainly a unique experience — almost a rite of passage.
Like all rites of passages, one-night stands are shameful, awkward, and huge causes for celebration. Here’s a look at what men are thinking during and after a single night of passion. Keep reading »
Men do a lot of thinking before sex. Mainly, they think about how to get sex, what to eat in order to have the proper energy for sex, and how to have better sex. Our thinking during sex is much less complex.
During passionate sex, the conscious mind of a man is pretty much obsessed with feeling everything that’s happening, and enjoying the act as much as possible. However, there’s a sort of half-conscious, half-subconscious mind that kicks in, and its main function is to worry about performance.
Our big concern between the sheets is whether on not you’re getting off, because men consider the female orgasm the sort of gold medal of the sexual Olympics. Keep reading »
Guys love sex. It’s hardwired into our brains. I’m not saying that women don’t love sex, by the way–everybody loves sex. It’s sex. It’s awesome. It seems like a biological miracle sometimes.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that everybody loves everything about sex. Here’s a look at four things that men don’t actually love about time spent between the sheets.
Keep reading »
Guys often forget relationship anniversaries, according to every bad comedian’s jokes since about 1965, and various magazines and TV shows since then. It can seem inconsiderate on the surface, and men get a lot of heat for not taking relationship anniversaries seriously. We’ve got a pretty good excuse to cover for our mistakes: we don’t care, because anniversaries are stupid.
We care that you’re mad at us, of course, and when we’ve done something disappointing or let you down, that’s certainly bad. We don’t want to do that. It’s just that the concept of relationship anniversaries seems really unnecessary. Keep reading »
Men don’t tend to be great at buying nice, thoughtful gifts. You really can’t blame us — we don’t expect anything more than nostril-hair trimmers for our birthdays and a decent tie or two on Christmas, so we end up giving similar gifts to women, which doesn’t always turn out well (I’m nursing a head wound right now). Here’s a look at a few thoughtless gift ideas that could only have come from the warped mind of a dude. Keep reading »