Profile for Sexpert Lindsay

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Sex Advice: First Time Role-Player

“I want to start role-playing — how do I incorporate that into my regular sex life with my boyfriend since neither one of us has tried it before and want to start slow?” — Acting Up In Bed, via email

I think there’s two kinds of role-playing: theatrical and emotional. For example, the theatrical would be the two of you dressing up like a nurse and patient and pretending to do it on the operating table. For emotional, you would pretend to be a hooker and your boyfriend a John. Instead of costumes, you focus on the emotional side of the fantasy. Keep reading »

Sex Advice: My Dude Is Totally Into Internet Porn

“Should I be worried that my boyfriend has been secretly watching Internet porn?” — Dating Mr. Skin Flick, via email

Internet porn for guys is like sex for our parents…they all do it, we just don’t want to think about it (and they don’t like to admit it).

A healthy amount of porn for guys OR girls is absolutely nothing to be worried about. If your boyfriend secretly watches porn it doesn’t mean he’s “cheating” on you. It just means that your guy is average, and falls into the statistic that guys think about sex every seven seconds. He also probably feels a little embarrassed that he does it. This is all totally normal. Keep reading »

Sex Advice: I’m Dating Mr. Not-So-Big

“The guy I’m dating is seriously under-endowed. Is this a total deal-breaker?” — Dick-appointed, via email

Have you had sex already? If you have, then you know the answer better than I do. Just ask yourself this: Was it good?

When women experience orgasms during sex, it usually has nothing to do with how far in a penis goes or how wide. Most women’s orgasms are clitoral, and are achieved when pressure from the man’s pelvic bone rubs against her. The G-spot (which needs to be stimulated in order for a vaginal orgasm to be achieved) doesn’t exist in every woman, but those who do have it can reach it with their finger. I don’t know when the last time you measured your finger was (I measure mine all the time), but it’s not that long. Get my drift?

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Sex Advice: My Girlfriend Has Vaginismus

“My girlfriend has Vaginismus. We have a great relationship and we hook up orally and with hands a good amount. Unfortunately, because of her condition, we can’t have sex because it is really painful for her. Obviously I am never going to push it on her because it is WAY harder for her than it is for me. But I’m still a guy and I can’t help wanting to do it. Fortunately, she’s in physical therapy for it now. My question is, how likely is it that she will get better, at least to the point of being able to have sex comfortably?” — Concerned Boyfriend, via email

If you ever want to imagine what Vaginismus is like, have a friend pretend to poke you in the eye. Know what happens? Your eye suddenly closes as the object gets closer. In the case of your girlfriend, your penis is the “poker”, and her vagina is the “eye.” Sooo not fun.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: His Cigs And Your Cervix

“Can a woman get cervical cancer if a smoker routinely goes down on her?” — Paranoid About My Puffer, Houston, TX

There hasn’t been any real medical research to support this claim, but you’re not totally crazy. If I had to take a guess, I’d say having a smoker go down on you is like putting Equal in your coffee. It’s not awesome for you, but if you don’t eat eight bathtubs full of it a day you’ll be fine.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: Doin’ The Crimson Wave

“How can my husband and I mess around when I’m on my period? I’m a little squeamish about it, but he doesn’t want to go off sex for a week.” — Flirting With Aunt Flo, Olympia, WA

A tampon isn’t the only thing you can insert when you have your period. In fact, sex while you’re on the rag can be even better than when you’re not. It sounds gross, but blood can act as a natural lubricant, enhancing your sexual experience with your husband. If you’re worried about the “cleanliness” factor of sex while you’re bleeding, you can use a colored towel or have sex in the shower to keep your sheets from seeing red.

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