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Lifetime Movies For Republicans Who Don’t Understand Rape

Republicans are airing sexual ignorances this week. Representative Steve King of Iowa has “never heard of” statutory rape causing pregnancy; Senate nominee Tom Smith thinks ”having a baby out of wedlock” is “similar to” rape;  and, of course, there’s Todd Akin. Have these guys never watched “Law & Order: SVU” or browsed movie listings on Lifetime? Rape narratives are a primetime TV staple these days, rivaled in volume only by Real Housewives and Ryan Seacrest’s face.

To speed the sexual education of the GOP, we have paired ten Republicans’ ill-conceived rape comments with cinematic antidotes from the Lifetime TV oeuvre. Movie night at the Tampa Hilton, anyone? Read more…

See Over 50 Models When They Were Just Kids

Long before these women were one-name wonders, slogging long hours during fashion week, dating movie stars, or starting charities, they were just little girls from all over the world, with no clue what lay in store for them. While we truly believe there are nougly children, it’s probably fair to say some are cuter than others. Since DNA plays the all-important role in a model’s life, we decided to go back to the early days of some of the biggest names in the business — including Arizona Muse, Chanel Iman, Natalia Vodinova, Liu Wen, and Joan Smalls — to see if the signs of supermodel-dom were always there. We’ll let you be the judge. Enjoy our slideshow of family snapshots, given to us by the models themselves, looking cuter than we even expected. Read more…

“Fashion Designer” Kanye West Gives Kim Kardashian A Full Clothing Makeover So She Can Be “More Of An Individual”

The Church Of Kardashian
New York's piece on Kim Kardashian wades deep in shallow water. Read More »
Kim's WTF Makeover
She calls it "Diana Ross-inspired." Really? Read More »

On the next episode of ”Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” Kanye and his stylist (Renelou Padora) stop by Kim’s house to clean out her closet. Kim quite earnestly tells the camera, “Kanye’s definitely inspired me to want to, like, be a little bit more of an individual. I think my style’s just evolving and changing and I think it should, because that’s, you know, what life is about.” She adds, “He’s a fashion designer and he loves clothes so I’m excited to, like, collaborate with him to see what his take on fashion is.” Read more…

Speed-Dating With Porn Star Joanna Angel

Joanna Angel‘s spiel is the same for each guy: “Okay, so I am a porn star. No, really I am. Oh, you are too? Well, you’re lying. Because the industry is small and I’d recognize you! So, actually, I guess I’m here because it has been hard for me to find a guy who is okay with what I do. What I am asking is, would you be okay with dating a porn star?”

Joanna is being modest. She directs, writes and stars in pornography, as the CEO of alt-porn site Burning Angel; she also enjoys video games, hiking, and eating cheese. After a six-year relationship with a male porn star, she has decided to date outside the industry, because “dating someone you work with is hard.” But dating outside the industry can be pretty hard, too. Read more…

The Man Married To Pussy Riot

“Media attention has blown the girls up to the size of Russia’s government,” said Pyotr Verzilov, husband of 22-year-old Pussy Riot member Nadya Tolokonnikova, in a Skype chat two weeks ago. This was before a Russian judge sentenced Nadya and bandmates Katya Samutsevich, age 29, and Maria Alyokhina, age 24, to two years in prison. Before Yoko Ono called for his wife’s release and the Associated Press cooed at Nadya’s “Angelina Jolie lips.” Even then, though, Pyotr believed Pussy Riot had “superhero status.”

For 40 seconds on February 21, Pussy Riot crashed the services at Moscow’s Cathedral of Christ the Saviour. Doe eyes fluttering behind neon balaclavas, they pumped their fists in the air and screamed “Mother Mary please drive Putin away.” In court, allegedly traumatized onlookers described their actions as “skirt kicking” and “demonic seizing.” Read more…

Slideshow: Bare Celebrity Feet, As Inspired by Kate Middleton

Yesterday, Kate Middleton removed her shoes to observe a judo match during an appearance at Bacon College in London, marking her bare feet’s public debut (and exposing our heretofore unknown desire to see them). Indeed, it’s quite rare for celebrities to allow their toes to be photographed, probably because even the nicestpieds rarely look good on-camera. After doing some research on the matter, we can deduce that the majority of shoeless celebrity photographs occur thanks to the following situations:

1. The celebrity is on a yacht, where shoe removal is mandatory.
2. The celebrity is at the beach.
3. The celebrity experiences some sort of shoe-related mishap, like a broken heel.
4. The celebrity is giving a musical performance.

Read more…

10 New Shows We’re Most (And Least) Excited For

The 2012 upfronts are over! Dozens of brand-new midseason and fall 2012 television shows were announced, and we offered snap judgments on all of them. (See herehereherehere, and here.) And now that we’ve had, oh, 24 hours to reflect, we’ve chosen the five shows we are most looking forward to and the five shows that we’ll probably end up watching but only because it’s our job. Read more…

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