I am not afraid to say, that it was Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract” that taught me my first lesson in love; if he takes the bed, and she steals the covers, they must be a match made in relationship heaven. According to Paula, a relationship could, and would, flourish if lovers found themselves on opposing sides of the Myers Briggs Indicator.
Living in an industry town, more often than not, I have found myself in the throes of passion with a like-minded comedy-writer Democrat who favors savory snacks over sweet desserts. And most of those relationships have ended in embittered feuds over (I’ll admit) “who is funnier.”
As my mother likes to say, two spoiled brats cannot inhabit the same relationship.
So as I set off on my quest to find my mate of soul, he who encompasses all things different from me, I must first understand how different is too different? What are the differences that will allow a relationship to blossom in the sunshine of love? And what are the ones that will make it rain — creating a thunderstorm of the he-said-she-said-i-hate-you variety? Keep reading »
I have dated losers of all stripes. Degenerate gamblers, pathological liars, cheaters, guys who can’t get it up, nymphomaniacs, older guys, younger guys, short guys, out of shape guys, steroid-pumping in-shape guys, musicians, baby daddies and waiters. I even had a brief affair with a Voice Over Artist. Yes, in a world where you can’t find a boyfriend, you have sex with a man who reads out loud – for a living.
Totally shockingly, in this vast, impressive portfolio of Y chromosome mediocrity, I have always ended up with the shit end of the stick. The common thread that weaves all these winners together (deep-seeded dysfunction aside) is the complete ambiguity that defined my relationship with each of them. We dated, often for months on end, but was he my boyfriend? I would be plagued with the flogging inner monologue of a quiz show – question after question after question. What was he doing when he wasn’t with me? How come he drinks so much? Why does he smell like Chanel No. 5 when I wear Stella McCartney? And where did all those track marks on his arms come from?
You know, typical pseudo-girlfriend type worries. Keep reading »
Picture for a moment, if you will, the opening sequence of a film. A romantic comedy. Close, on the female lead, she stands in her apartment a puzzled look on her face – darn it! She wants love! Dating is hilarious! Sex is hilarious! People chase other people through airports and make embarrassing speeches at corporate functions all in the name of L-O-V-E. This female lead is unemployed. She is a slacker. She’s uncertain what she wants to do with her life, but she is certain that she’s ten to fifteen pounds overweight. She engages in recreational drug use, sometimes even drinking bong water. She fears change and cries at the drop of a hat. But boy is she lovable!
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It was our third date before Chris brought me back to his apartment. He was a writer as well, which should have been an immediate red flag. Our relationship was bound to see its demise surely brought on by rabid insecurity leading to competition, some hate sex and then ultimately an anti-climactic break up. But I ignored the little voice in my head and went out with him anyhow. Something about beggars and choosers. Keep reading »
I will forever associate my virginity with toads. No, this is no allusion to fairy tales, no delusions of princess-like grandeur. To my grave disappointment, at no point during my epic virginity-losing did the pimply faced amphibian straddling me morph into a dashing prince. The reason I associate my deflowering with toads is because instead of a Bon Jovi ballad or a sweet Sarah McLachlan serenade, I lost my virginity to the unlikely ribbits of toads.Namely those in that famous Budweiser commercial â€“ you know, BUD. WEIS. ER.
Romance, bitches, is not dead. Keep reading »
Would you take your clothes off for Kathryn Hull? The budding twenty-something designer of Deshabille Lingerie sits down with The Frisky to discuss whoâ€™s wearing her panties, creative freedom, and whether romance is alive and kicking.
Honestly, I designed clothes for various companies for years and I found that I personally loved to wear black and grey colors with simple and classic silhouettes without a lot of trims and crap. But, when I designed I gravitated towards lace, pink silks, and uber feminine fabrics and color palette. I had this internal struggle and so I began to thinkâ€¦what can I do with this? How and where can one wear this?
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Any Angeleno knows that a hike up Runyon Canyon followed by brunch is a patented So-Cal date move. But for those who want to avoid the beaten path (or, in this case, trail) these offbeat L.A date activities are sure to impress.
Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce
5574 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, 90038
If Dita Von Teese makes either of you quiver this burlesque club is the place for you. A 1920s throwback with plush velvet everything and nightly shows that are sure to wow, come for a drink and stay through the night to dance up a storm courtesy of tunes by a live jazz trio. Keep reading »