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Dating Don’ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be

Dating Don'ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be
I Like Chivalry
On Jessica's newfound respect for men who behave chivalrously. Read More »

I’ve never been one for chivalry. I prefer to do things my way, and take pride in my own ability to lift things that are heavy, open doors on my own and find my coat in a sea of bodies and sad down jackets at a crowded bar. I’ve been with men who are completely unchivalrous, men who I’ve had to kick in the shins to lift a finger to help me carry an air conditioner up the stairs, and I’ve been with men who have fallen over themselves to get the door for me, even though I was already in the process of opening it. There’s a finesse to the art, a way of doing things that falls in between a fawning obsequiousness and a genuine gesture, bred of genteel manners and a different way of living.

There’s a fine line between chivalry and common courtesy. Holding a door open for someone who’s hands are full is good home training. Giving your seat up for a pregnant woman on the bus is good home training. Helping me into my coat at a restaurant is unnecessary, awkward and assumes that deep down, you are unconfident in my ability to put on my own outerwear when the fact of the matter is I have been dressing myself for longer than we’ve been acquainted. I understand that this is a gesture of kindness, but I view it as a harbinger of times past — and quite frankly, the past is where it should stay. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Love In The Age Of Instagram

Dating Don'ts: Love In The Age Of Instagram

I have an inveterate aversion to the unexpected. I hate surprise parties. I conduct extensive consumer research before I purchase anything, from new shoes to vacuum cleaners. The idea of plunging blind into a situation fills me with a mounting dread, a gnawing in the pit of my stomach knowing that I have no say in the outcome. This charming quirk has led me on a lifelong journey to impart control over a variety of situations that are inherently uncontrollable — the job search, the actions of others, and most importantly, dating. Any way you slice it, dating is fucking terrifying for me, because the unexpected is the norm. The carefully edited OKCupid or How About We profile and the brief dossier provided by a well-meaning friend only reveals so much. How can you know more before you’ve even met? This week, in an article in The New York Post, I read about Glimpse, a new dating app that offers the alluring prospect of stripping some of the mystery away. By allowing users to view the Instagram profiles of potential matches, Glimpse removes a layer from the murky soup of contemporary dating, offering users a deeper glimpse into the interests of other singles. If you like what you see, “smile” at the person through the app, and if it’s a match, you’re well on your way to love. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 7 Somewhat Universal Online Dating Dealbreakers

Outsmarting Online Dating
Meet Amy Webb, The Woman Who Outsmarted Online Dating
Watch a TED talk from a woman who hacked online dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Tinder Profiles
Dating Don'ts: 9 Tinder Profiles That Made Me Swipe Left
These types of Tinder profiles make women want to swipe left. Read More »
Online Dating Lies
Here's some of the whoppers people use in their profile. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: 7 Somewhat Universal Online Dating Dealbreakers

Online dating is a wild and wooly world full of missed connections, delicate communications, and the unique, but not uncommon experience of getting to know someone enough to meet them for one to two beers through a series of messages on the internet. This is the world we live in, and the beauty of online dating is that the carefully worded profile lets you try before you buy. All profile info is to be taken with a grain of salt, but there’s an art to the carefully crafted profile. We all have our personal dealbreakers, but there are some that are (somewhat — there are always exceptions!) universal. Let’s explore… Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: The Importance Of Independence

Dating Don'ts: LDR
Dating-Don'ts--How-To-Do-The-Adult-Long-Distance-Relationship
How to do an LDR as an adult. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Island
Dating Dont's: Relationship Island
Why your single friends don't want to join you on Relationship Island... Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Texters
13 Types Of Texters To Weary Of
These types of texters are worth being weary of. Read More »
Dating-Don’ts--The-Importance-of-Independence

My ex-boyfriend’s parents have been married for years, but they sleep in separate beds. At first, I found this practice strange, a manifestation of a marriage that no longer had the sparkle, one that had become more comfortable and practical than anything else.

I was wrong.

His parents were, in fact, perfectly content, deeply comfortable and happy with each other. Theirs was a long-lasting and functional marriage that ran smoothly on a combination of the comfort of knowing someone very well for a very long time, and the glorious amount of independence they each shared. His mother, an avid fly-fisher and traveller, spent a lot of time out of the country, exploring the world in her retirement. His father disliked travel, and preferred curling up with a good spy novel and the 49ers. She went on her trips, he read his books, and they were happier for it. For me, they were an example of pure success, something to aspire to, the best way to be together and independent. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How To Do The Adult Long-Distance Relationship

Dating Don'ts:Dinner
Dating Don'ts: 4 Things You Can Learn From Your Dinner Date
You can learn a lot from going out to dinner with someone. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Travel
The DOs and DONT's of travel hookups. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Driftwood
Dating Don'ts: Where There Is Driftwood
Where there is driftwood, there are better relationships. Read More »
Dating-Don'ts--How-To-Do-The-Adult-Long-Distance-Relationship

Say you meet a handsome stranger one night in the corner of a dark bar. He’s visiting from somewhere else, but something clicks and all of a sudden it’s on. After a whirlwind week where you manage to cram in a months’ worth of getting to know you, he leaves, back to his life and you to yours. The inevitable ennui sets in, but before you chalk this up to another fling with no staying power, do yourself a favor: Consider the adult long-distance relationship.   Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 4 Things You Can Learn From Your Dinner Date

Dating Don'ts: Honesty
Dating-Don'ts--Honesty-Is-Relative
It's relative... Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Meet-Cute
Dating-Don'ts-How-The-Meet-Cute-Is-Ruining-Your-Love-Life
The meet-cute is dangerous. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: First Dates
Dating-Don'ts--4-First-Date-Tips-For-People-Who-Don't-Do-It-That-Often
Tips for those who don't date too often. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: 4 Things You Can Learn From Your Dinner Date

There are a lot of great ways to get to know somebody, but none are as efficient and satisfying as going out to eat with a person. I’m someone who takes food very seriously — cooking for people I care about is truly one of my favorite things to do, and as someone who eschews the traditional “did he call after a day or two days and what does it all mean?” school of thought when it comes to dating, I use other barometers to measure relationship success. Keep reading »

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