Meet Beshine. She is a pleasant-seemingly German cam girl and internet star with a surgically-augmented 32Z chest, a sunny disposition, and a robust following on Reddit. According to the Daily Dot’s explainer on Beshine and her fan army, her boobs are a bouncing 20 lbs each. That’s the equivalent of 10 six-packs of beer, an average one-year old-child, or a sizeable Thanksgiving turkey. Cool! What fun it must be to spend all day walking around on tiny human legs with two yoga balls strapped to your chest. But how the fuck would you get anything done? I’m willing to bet there’s a lot of commonplace activities that are pretty damn hard for Beshine to accomplish. Let’s explore…
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Don’t fear the blush, even though it is intimidating and weird. It’s the a product many write off as completely unnecessary. but is actually really, really important. Think about it this way: Once you’ve done all that you need to do to your face, you’re left with a beautiful, even-toned canvas — but it’s all the same color. You need some rouge, pumpkin.
I have reached a point in my life where it seems that everything I wear looks kind of the same. Call it an accidental uniform. There are many stripes, lots of florals, and tons of floppy, oversized tops that conceal my figure and make me look with child in the wrong light, but allow me to eat food the way I want to — with gusto. Perhaps that is my uniform: jeans, a shirt faintly stained with the ghost of nachos past, and a sweater that is both pill-y and possibly ill-fitting. I am okay with this. The desire to change my look constantly, in reaction to trends like crop tops, or wide legged pants, or an excess of velvet, has waned. Recently, I purged my closet of all the excess, and it was the best thing I’ve done this year.
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Cheating is terrible. Don’t cheat. But, if you do, don’t be an idiot and use your wife’s cell phone to send sexts to your mistress, because your wife might come for you and chop your dick off. According to The New York Post, when 34-year-old Fan Lung of China was found sending dirty messages to his lover on his wife Feng’s cell phone, Feng responded the way any completely irrational scorned wife would: by sneak into their shared bedroom at night and chopping his dick off. Incensed and relatively bloody, Fan managed to locate the severed appendage, sad and discarded like an undercooked sausage, and had it reattached — but it wasn’t long before his wife returned to chop that shit off again, this time throwing it out the window and into the night. The detached peen was never found, and local authorities believe it may have become dinner for a stray cat or dog. Lesson learned: don’t fuck with Feng. [New York Post] [Image via Shutterstock]
Last night at the Golden Globe Awards, Margaret Cho played a character named Cho Yun Ja, a movie reporter from North Korea, in a misguided attempt to coast off fumes generated by the publicity machine that surrounded “The Interview”‘s weird half-success. The bit was a little clunky and mostly unfunny. Margaret Cho, a woman of North/South Korean descent, stepped onstage and did what she has been doing for the majority of her career: speaking in a thick Korean accent and poking gentle fun at where she comes from. As Cho Yun Ja she was stoic, stern and weird, dressed in an unflattering military suit and never cracking a smile. It was uncomfortable to watch, it was squirmy. but it was not racist. It was just kind of tired.
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