Here is a example of something that happens to people in relationships: we strive for perfection at all costs. Things go well, things are proceeding according to the path you created in your head. Things feel perfect. Your relationship is a glorious jewel of correctness, shining in a world where nothing is right. There have been no arguments, you disagree on nothing and appear to have everything in common. The success of your relationship is a kick in the teeth to all your other problems, it’s the one thing that you can really and truly do right. It’s a contact high of the best kind and you never want it to go away. The problem with this feeling? The first crack in the veneer sends you into a roiling, spiraling panic. The truth: Perfection is impossible, it is unfeasible, and the struggle to achieve it will be the death of the relationship. Instead of striving for it, try infusing your relationship with some wabi-sabi. Keep reading »
Say you’re in a new relationship, and things are going well. There are dinners, there is coffee in bed when you want it, there is sparkling conversation and wit and banter, there are all-consuming exchanges of emotion that leave you revitalized and ready to seize the rest of your lives together. You’ve reached a state of happiness that leaves other relationships in the dark. Finally! A thing that works for me, the way I want it, the way I need it. What have I done to deserve this giant treasure from the universe?
Then, the change comes, like it does in all new relationships. Sun-soaked afternoons in bed are slowly replaced by tense mornings in which every conversation is a power struggle. What was once light and sunshine and butterfly kisses is now a relationship fraught with calculated moves to gain the upper hand. What happened here? How did something that seemed so easy become so complicated? Keep reading »
Here’s what’s easy:
Sitting in your apartment, doing things that you like to do, justifying this behavior by saying that because it is what you want to do, it is absolutely correct. Rejecting new experiences because they could fail, because you could embarrass yourself or fall on your face or loose a tooth or a shred of dignity. Staying in a rut because it’s comfortable, it feels right, and it’s easier than putting on that pair of pants or wearing those new shoes or doing anything other than the path you picked out for yourself as the only way for you.
Dating is not fun. It’s not easy. If someone came up to me and told me in earnest that scrolling thru the depths of OKCupid is a fulfilling and mentally engaging activity, I’d gather my things and back away slowly. It feels like work because it is work. Scrolling through matches taps into the muscle memory of the aimless looking for shoes on Zappos or searching your work email for that thing you got last week that you just can’t find. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Click? Scroll. Repeat ad nauseam until you find something that you think might work, with some jiggering, a little tailoring, a tiny nip and tuck. Add to your cart, finish your wine, close your laptop, go to sleep. Keep reading »
Have you ever wondered what Miss Piggy and Kermit’s sex life is like? Do you have a desire to have your childhood memories of “The Muppets” ruined forever? Then please, take a glance at Emilio Rangel’s series “La Puta di Babilonia (The Whore of Babylon),” which depicts what really happens between America’s favorite couple behind closed doors. If this picture of Miss Piggy riding a hydra in the likeness of Animal piques your interest, follow me after the jump to see a few of the more NSFW selections from this fantastic and brilliant series, then check out the full array over at Living Art Room.
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It is time to have a serious conversation about just how amazing Rebel Wilson really is. She has a law degree and an arts degree, proving that she’s one smart cookie. Most importantly, she has a refreshing lack of vanity in an industry where vanity is a pre-requisite. There are a lot of misleading and confusing messages about how to feel and how a woman should look, but Rebel Wilson is incredible for the fact that she just doesn’t care. She stresses that being healthy is key, but acknowledges implicitly that health is relative to the individual. As a woman who is neither fat nor thin, but somewhere in the nebulous realm between “plus” sized and average, Rebel’s attitude resonates. Check out a clip of her talking with “Extra” above.
I can’t remember the last time I thought about Snooki with anything but bemusement, but this insanely good clip of her tearin’ it up with a killer jazz routine on “Dancing With The Stars” changed my mind. Did you guys have any idea that Snooki had talents beyond dragging a stuffed alligator around Florence and binge-drinking? It’s a new age, y’all, and this is a new Snooki, one that’s moved past the pouf and on to things we can’t even imagine. Click and watch her bring it, hard, to the “DWTS” stage. [YouTube]
Eleanor Cattan became the youngest winner in the Man Booker Prize’s history at 28, winning over other literary hard-hitters like Jhumpa Lahiri and Colm Toibin. Her novel The Luminaries is a murder mystery set during the New Zealand gold rush, and has been praised for its mastery of storytelling and language, not to mention its great heft, weighing in at 848 pages. This is incontrovertible proof that 28 really is the year that changes everything. Check out this excerpt here and hustle to your nearest friendly bookseller, stat. [Reuters]
Halloween is not a holiday known for love, but stay with us for a sec. The canon of horror movies is rife with potentially dateable and definitely single men, who could all just use some love, or at least a nice dinner out. If online dating and the daily drudge of searching for available and attractive men that won’t kill you in your sleep is getting you down, then change the game! All men are horror shows, anyway, right? Why not take that to heart and include these dudes in your list? Let’s take a look at these seven horror movie villains, and see just how dateable they really are.
It’s time to create a new definition of chick lit, one that moves away from the tired standbys and into a new frontier. There are stories written for women by women that are varied and interesting and funny. These 10 books all share similar themes to the traditional chick-lit offerings: strong female characters and relatable situations. The key difference is the focus. Instead of serving as tarted-up romance novels, the books offered here explore the difficulties of the entire range of female experience. Let’s try and expand our horizons. Jennifer Weiner and Sophie Kinsella serve one purpose. Let these other forays into chick lit fulfill another. Click through for our suggestions for unconventional chick lit.
I first read Bridget Jones’ Diary when I was a teenager, marveling over how adult and grown up Bridget’s entire world was. Cigarettes! Drinking! Poor decisions! For a 15-year-old with an untraditional worldview, Bridget’s foibles were aspirational. She was a woman in her thirties, still single, still struggling to make it to work wearing a bra and with both shoes on, still trying to figure out what a happy life meant. Her problems, while abstract, were problems that I saw myself having as I got older. I quietly recognized bits of her in myself, and unknowingly carried that with me as I grew up. Revisiting the book at age 31, I was pleasantly surprised to see that not much had really changed.
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