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It’s Not You, It’s Me — We’ve Got Lame Breakup Excuses

While flipping through a copy of People recently, I saw that in the “out” section of a recent Style Watch “in” and “out” list — sandwiched between things like “stainless steel home decor” and “molten chocolate cake” — was “long distance relationships.” This struck me as something that really could never be either in or out, so I had to hear the explanation.

“It’s part of a new green, eco-conscious attitude: Break up with your out-of-state boyfriend or girlfriend because it’s not sustainable, and date local!” Jennifer Ganshirt of Frank About Women, a marketing-to-women consulting firm, told the mag.

Granted, it makes for a lot of fantastic break-up lines: “Colin, it’s not you, it’s the environment,” or, “I think we should see more sustainable people” or even, “There’s another woman: Mother Earth.”

But beyond the fact that this is taking the green thing a little too far, is there seriously anyone who would actually use an excuse like this to break it off?

Apparently, there is. After quizzing friends, it turns out that there are even more lame ways to pull the plug. Read more Keep reading »

GuySpeak/GirlSpeak: From Booty Call to Boyfriend?

We’re back again for another edition of GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we take a close look at the advice given by guys to girls over at GuySpeak, throw in our own two vagina-possessing cents, and then have you weigh in. This week’s scintillating question: Can you turn a booty call into a boyfriend?

This guy uses me as a booty call, but I really like him, so whenever he calls I go meet him. Should I play hard to get and stop answering his calls? He always avoids my questions about a relationship.

Read on for our guy vs. girl advice … Keep reading »

Sorry, Girls — There Are No Nice Guys

Here’s the thing — on paper, I’m actually one of those Nice Guys you often hear and/or read about. I’m uncomfortable to the point of nausea at the idea of being a jerk to women in order to manipulate them into sleeping with me. I do everything in my power to make a girl I’m interested in comfortable and happy, and I refrain from any remotely creepy or suggestive behavior.

So, although I actually do qualify as one of the Nice Guys, there’s a paradox — there’s no such thing. Read more Keep reading »

GuySpeak/GirlSpeak And The Case Of The Disappearing Date

Welcome back to GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we take a crack at the questions submitted by girls to the guy experts over at GuySpeak. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we disagree, and after everyone weighs in, it’s your turn! This week’s topic is the Old Faithful of dating questions: Why doesn’t he call? Read more Keep reading »

Why Guys Can’t Forgive Us for Cheating (But We Can Forgive Them)

As we earn more money and work longer hours, new statistics show that more women are cheating on their husbands — but that doesn’t mean that men are as forgiving about affairs as we can be.

According to a 2001 survey, about 15 percent of men admit to cheating on their wives or girlfriends, and women were not far behind with a 10-percent cheat rate.

But here’s one thing that hasn’t changed — women are willing to forgive their husbands for infidelity, and men aren’t. A recent study found that men were significantly more likely to end a marriage based on spousal infidelity than women. Read more Keep reading »

I’ll Pay For Dinner, But I Won’t Be Your Facebook Friend

If I’ve learned anything from sex scandals, it’s that texting somebody you’re hoping to sleep with can be dangerous. Especially if you’re married. Or famous. But this isn’t about dumb Tiger Woods. This is about the rest of us, and those normal, baby-step texts surrounding a first date that can often go horribly awry. Before, you’d just get a girl’s number, and if it was real, you’d set up a date with her and see her then. But now we have texting/IMing/emailing and, good lord, Facebooking each other. There are so many opportunities to be misunderstood!

These days, if you’re going on a date with someone new, chances are you’ve “talked” to this person electronically before you even get to make awkward conversation about your “crazy” work week over salmon croquettes and the second least expensive bottle of wine on the menu (can’t look completely cheap!). But I implore you: stop. Don’t text me, IM me, Gchat me or — heaven forbid — Facebook me after we’ve established our first-date time and place. Let me explain. Read more Keep reading »

How To Hint To Him What You Want For Christmas

Determined to get what you want from your man this holiday season? Unless it comes in the form of a gift card, don’t rely on him to connect the dots without some serious help. ‘Tis the season for hint dropping, so choose your approach wisely. While some boyfriends may require a brightly lit sign, others aren’t into having everything explicitly spelled out. Here’s a quick tip guide to help you get what you want through the power of suggestion. Read more Keep reading »

Why I Like Her And Not You

There’s a short brunette with dimples, and we catch eyes. I go for short brunettes with dimples all the time. Short, dimpled brunettes rule. Yet her polished, frosted-blonde friend, clutching a Manhattan, calls to me. I like everything about the brunette, but I ask the blonde out.

A week later, I’m at dinner with Frosted. Turns out, she’s casually racist.

I’ve got this close female friend who always asks me why the hell I chose to approach one girl over another girl, when one is clearly better for me in every way and probably wouldn’t deny the Holocaust before she got her entree.

It’s a valid question: All things being equal, why do guys choose one woman over another? Read more Keep reading »

GuySpeak/GirlSpeak: The Anal Debate

Let’s get ready to rumble! Here comes this week’s GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we listen carefully to the advice given by the guys over at GuySpeak to women in distress, and then we jump in and agree, disagree, or make fun of them — sometimes all three!

Today’s question is about how to handle a boyfriend who keeps trying to have anal sex and gets pouty when it doesn’t happen. Read more Keep reading »

The Slow Fade: Why I Sometimes Just Totally Disappear On A Girl

The end is rarely easy. And, God, can it be awkward. Personally, I don’t apply specifics for each gender on how to end a thing (a “thing” being anything that lasts a couple months or seven dates, give or take; ending a “relationship” is a whole other bag of misery). When it comes to the end, whether you’re a man dumping a woman, a woman dumping a man, or a gay dude dumping a gay dude, you want it to be as humane as possible.

But which method of ending a “thing” is most humane? Let’s have a look, from least to most kind. Read more Keep reading »

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