Profile for Kimberlee Auerbach

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Girl Talk: I Fell In Love With My Best Friend

When I first met Ethan, I was in love with his friend.

Josh, however, was not in love with me, and told me so. We hadn’t been dating long, but I had met his mother over the holidays and thought things were getting serious, that we might have a future. When he assured me we didn’t, I felt confused, misled and heartbroken.

Ethan had no idea how I felt or that I had given up sugar, gluten, fried food, meat, dairy, alcohol and caffeine in an attempt to cleanse my body of the pain. Ethan had just moved to New York City and was simply looking to meet new people. I agreed to lunch, thinking Ethan might report back to Josh that I was cool and pretty, and what the hell was he thinking?! Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was Afraid To Curse Myself

I bounded down the stairs to show my mom my new frilly red dress.

“Oh Kimmi! You look so pretty! That is such a pretty red dress!”

I stopped mid-twirl, put my hands on my four-year-old hips, and looked at her accusingly. “You don’t like my blue dress?” I asked.

Flash-forward 30 years, and that easily hurt, overly dramatic little girl has become an easily hurt, overly dramatic woman. I’m not sure why, but I have always jumped to conclusions and distorted the truth, turning compliments into insults and finding ways to feel slighted in any kind of situation or exchange. Keep reading »

How Pole Dancing Changed My Life

I sat on a purple mat wearing black yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt across from 10 other women whose faces I couldn’t quite make out. The studio was dark, except for a few fake flickering candles lining the walls and two red-lit lamps. I looked around and counted four armchairs and fives poles. What had I gotten myself into? As a “liberated” 21st century professional woman, what was I doing in a room filled with a bunch of lap dance chairs and stripper poles? I reminded myself that I was there to help my friend Jennifer win a pole, but I was starting to reconsider. I could just leave, duck out quietly. Then I heard the teacher say, “Let’s start on our backs, and feel your breath.” There was no way out now. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why Is Everyone So Happy I’m In A Relationship?

We were laying side by side, both face deep in our iPhones—checking our email one last time before going to sleep, setting our alarm clocks for the next morning, basically saying goodbye to the day. I turned to him, his face lit by the tiny screen, and watched him scroll through his Facebook newsfeed.

“Anything exciting?” I asked.

“My cousin really loves Drew Barrymore. Check out the exclamation marks.”

“Should we change our relationship status?” I asked, as if that were the natural follow-up. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Finally Saw ‘New Moon’ And Was Shocked It Really Hit Home

Passing the table of TEAM EDWARD and TEAM JACOB T-shirts, I turned to my friend. “Looks like we’re in for a treat,” I laughed, thinking it was kind of ridiculous for two single, 30-something women to be spending a Saturday night seeing “New Moon.”

“We sure are,” she said with a wink. Having read the entire series, she’d begged me to come see it with her despite my complete skepticism. Keep reading »

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