Profile for Kiki T

Ask The Astrosexologist: Am I Taking My Virgo’s Teasing Too Seriously?

I’m a Cancer (born June 27, 1989) and my lover is a Virgo (born September 12, 1987). We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. We both have this emotional pull and undeniable attraction towards each other and think we’re soul mates, but something keeps bothering me. I feel like he picks on me a lot. He’s critical about the way I dress and how much I weigh. For example, the day we met, he poked my thigh and was like, “Maybe you should go to the gym and work out.”

I don’t know if I’m being extra sensitive, which I am most of the time, but I love my curves and don’t want to change anything about my body. I run four times a week and eat healthy. Little things he says and does make me think maybe he’s not that into me, even though he claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me not to leave him. Am I being too sensitive for this harsh Virgo? Am I taking the little things too seriously? – Criticized Crab Keep reading »

For The Week Of March 23-29, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You never know where the surprises are going to occur this week, so best to just pay attention to your instincts and take those seedy mystery rides when you can, because this is the time when you will be in for an experience that you never quite had before, as it’ll expand your imagination to enter (and enjoy) realms you thought were only for freaks.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

With all the demands your baby will be making on you this week, it’ll be one of those times you’ll have to go deep into yourself and remind yourself why you love him. Sure, it won’t be easy to maneuver yourself amid the minefield of aggravation he’ll be planting, but as you know, to all your ups there has to be some downs.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whatever routines you have going on, forget them. They won’t be working for you and the last thing that’ll get you off is anything familiar. Yes, take on whatever new challenges come your way or seek edgier opportunities, as that is what’ll give your mind and body the ultimate thrills to really get off on.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Emotions and the intellect can operate in two completely erratic ways. What you crave with your heart doesn’t always strike a cord in your mind. This week, expect to feel torn between two sides of yourself as they fight to find a common ground on someone new that comes into your life that almost fits perfectly, but just doesn’t quite make the mark.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Mounting sexual frustrations don’t have to be a burden anymore, if you can just stop being so hard on the prospects. Not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but getting a bit more creative in your approach can open up side to others that you didn’t think existed and in turn, can open you up in just the way to cure what ails.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll have just the right words to turn it out with that special someone, but the problem will be you won’t be in such the mood to do all that you say. Sure, you can tease all you want, but do have some mercy. While playing this part is a role you were born for, realize the whole point is to eventually provide some sort of release. Don’t reap what you can’t sow.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Home might be where you heart is, but that isn’t where your body should lay. When it comes to your new piece, don’t rush getting too personal too quickly, as you know your compassion sometimes has an aggravating way of leading you to charity dating. For now, work the social angles first to sort out if there is anything worthy to be revealed behind closed doors.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be feeling your power and working to enforce it. While this can bode well for you in career, friendship and with money, in love this won’t be in your favor. Judgments you make now and actions you take won’t be as you’d wish, but rather completely backwards. If you want anything sexy to happen this week, sorry to say, it’ll have to be with yourself.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your idealism is a fab world of horny sensations, but don’t be too shy in keeping them all in your head. Don’t shrug off ongoing fantasies, thinking they have to be just that — because at this moment, you are in a prime position to cross your reality with a little bit of your dream world, as the one you’ve got holding on is just the lead that will play out your needs properly.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A friendship gets a dash of intrigue, as some bonding moment will take a PG point of view into a total Rated R one. Although you will want to act impetuously, know there are repercussions that can be positive and negative and weighing out the options is necessary if you want to explore the matters to your advantage. In other words, keep your panties on for now and think.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Intimidation is no turn-on. See a bully for who they are and don’t think you have to offer up any compassion or integrity to get him to do as you say, because if you give them an inch they will want a foot. Stand up for yourself this week and enforce your authority on yourself. This is the time for your ego to have its day.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

To get off on a whole new level, you’re going to have to let loose and let spontaneity do with you what it will. Action and adventure are on the agenda, but it’ll be more about the craziness of random events that’ll be stirring up your life and imagination than anything emotional. So that means yes to a period of wild sex, but no to romantic love.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Advice For My First Polyamorous Relationship!

I’m an energetic Aries and I’m getting involved in my first ever threesome relationship with two signs that are very compatible with mine — a very intriguing Sag woman and her awesome Gemini boyfriend. I know that the three of us should work out together, but is there any advice you can give me on how to keep things running smoothly in our happy partnership? I’m a little nervous about coming between them, is there anything I can do about that? — Two Become Three
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For The Week Of March 16-22, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

So what if you’re feeling a littler pushier this week and you want your baby to get off his ass and start doing more with himself than just turning into a parasite? This is not the time to be too sympathetic to anyone’s plight, but your own. Get the balance back in your own mind and screw the rest. If you can’t teach by example, consider it a lost cause.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your anal energy will be going up a few notches, but this will be a perfect time to start using this special power to screen your life through and see what is basically adding or subtracting from the equation. Yes, this is your time to organize and gain maximum efficiency over all your matters and realize you can dominate.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Forget making plans, as they’ll only create expectations and a downward spiral to your current state of bliss. Best to just hop on this ride and take it where it will, as trying to make any predictions will only slow you down and prove nothing. Surprises are best when they actually are allowed to be surprises.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Everyone, even you, needs a little love and tenderness once in a while and for that, this is your perfect time to settle into a calmer state of mind and go private for just a few. If attached, this will give you time to get back in sync with your honey in a more familial way. If you’re single, this will give you space to get sense of clarity that’s been lacking.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Let your mind wander and take you off to a fairy never land where all is perfect and sweet and the way reality should be, if you were in control. While this isn’t going to turn out a miracle, this will help you get a greater sense of what you need to learn and how you need to step it up. Yes, dare to go off the beaten path and realize there is way more than meets the eye.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Get you party dress on and your ass out there. Prospects will be out by the droves, as there’ll be many places and faces that can bring on several positive opportunities for you — not just ones to get laid, but ones to move you up the ladder of success. The catch though, you’ll have to be the one to make that first move.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Enough is enough and all that bugs you will be no longer, as you won’t be the same compassionate lady you were just a few days ago. No, this week, it’s a change of plans, as life literally goes from bottom to top — as in you wielding a new sense of confidence to realize taking no bull and prisoners is your best suited style.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Get ready to hear lots of whining from your baby and be ready with the tough love. Sure, at first you might want to go the nurturing route, but soon enough you’ll learn that it won’t be of much use. To make the most of it, use this time to get in touch with your more creative side or at least, your more peacefully reclusive one.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your need to be social will resemble a manual car driven by someone who doesn’t know a thing about stick shift. Yes, emotions will be pulling you back and forth, making you wonder if you’re borderline personality. No matter, expect to feel crazy, and with that, be aware that fleeting love affairs are just part of this phase, so be careful of promising anything more than just a night.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your ambition will be going into overdrive and there won’t be anyone that can stop you on your mission. So, whatever your deepest desire is and what you think will make you feel like Queen of the hill, have it consume you over the next few weeks because this is the time come hell or high water you’re going to get what you want.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Who cares about always trying to take the high road; sometimes taking the lowest and sleaziest way is the one that’s best for you. After all, aspiring to be sweet (fake) all day can only make you so satisfied. This time around, dig deeper into your gut and realize that some grimy honesty is just what the doctor ordered.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Sex is a metaphor of a relationship; so if you’re not getting the thrill ride of your life, reconsider being on the love installment plan. Besides, there’s no reason you can’t be friends; after all, friends are is the category of people you admire, but don’t want to screw — which seems to be the area he fits in more and more. Admit it and get back on with your bad self.

In Bed With … “The Bachelor”‘s Jason Mesnick

Note: I just have to say that I, Kiki T., being of sound body and mind, in no way would ever want to get “In Bed With” this guy, but, like watching a car accident, curiosity makes you do (and write) some messed up things. In case any of you like car crashes too, here’s one for you…

VITAL STATS
Born: July 5, 1976 in Cleveland, OH
Sun Sign: Cancer
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Leo

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Ask The Astrosexologist: Should I Ditch My Husband For My Online Lover?

I will start off with the players: Me, Leo 8/11/72, born approx 8:30pm, Eugene Oregon; my husband, a Virgo, 9/5/76, born in Kitchener Ontario, and the lover, a Gemini, 5/23/77, born in Poughkeepsie NY.

My husband and I married very quickly after being friends for a long time — there had always been some chemistry and attraction, but once we were married things really went downhill. It has reached the point that I don’t want to make the effort because I resent him so much, and also the lack of response and attention from him has affected my self-esteem. We ‘took a break’ in August, this was a huge relief for me. For a variety of reasons it is not possible for us to separate completely yet, and we continue to live together. He wants to reconcile, I do not think I will ever be able to be happy in this relationship. To his credit, he is very committed to me and willing to work on the relationship, but I just don’t feel like he’s ever going to get it — get me, and that is a very lonely feeling within a relationship.

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For The Week Of March 9-15, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Embrace your independence, because as of right now, that will be the only thing that will lead you back to sanity. If you spend too much time listening to your honey go on and on about whatever he thinks is right, you will eventually start questioning yourself — and darling, no need for that. You’re right, he’s wrong. Give it time, you’ll get to say, “I told you so.”

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If it sounds like guilt, feels like guilt, know it as guilt. Don’t feel bad for decisions you have to make for you, because this is your life and you’re entitled to feel as happy as you want to. For anyone that doesn’t see it that way, know they have no place in their life, no matter how deep your history goes with them or how good you want to view them.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your life is finally heading to new heights of fun, bringing back your optimist — hallelujah! Go ahead, make up fantasies and get lost in. Dream up all fantastical scenarios to go head over heels on. While they might not happen, the inspiration alone is worth ODing on because through it, other great accomplishments will come through and no matter what, will land you on your feet.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Keeping your composure will be your biggest task this week, as someone who thinks himself as an authority figure will spout off information that’s not his to share, putting you in an uncomfortable position. Sure, we all put our foot in our mouths, but if there’s no remorse, that is when you know that person as a jerk and to make necessary steps to avoid further incrimination.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Let loose and have a little more fun than usual. This means putting that nagging disciplined voice of yours on mute and taking on a more devil may care attitude, as it’ll be the times you feel trouble coming on that’ll put you in the most prime place to get that little somethin’-somethin’ that’ll give you your groove back.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

When it comes to sharing, you might be its poster child, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Face it, being generous can be a thankless job, especially if you are dealing with spoiled patrons that don’t seem to get that your kindness is not a right, but a privilege. Of course, being a martyr without anyone asking isn’t required either; so think twice before opening yourself up too much.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

They’ll be no holding you back when it comes to airing out your opinions. Seems somewhere along this week, you’re going to snap and let all the venom ooze out of you until you get your point of contention in its place. While this might burn a bridge, feel relief that you’ve crossed it enough times to never have to go back anyway.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Any paranoids you have in regard to health issues, deal with them now. Otherwise, your paranoia this week will be heighten to a new level of dysfunction, putting you in a ringy state of mind that won’t only make you a bitch to everyone around you and a self sabotaging maniac to yourself. Yes save yourself by dealing with obvious priorities.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Good news is on the way. Chances are a friend will have something interesting for you, which is a direct win for you or can inadvertently set you onto a path that will lead you to something you’ve been wishing for. Whichever the case, this will mean having to listen closely and even in-between the lines if you must. However, once you hear what you need, it’ll be obvious.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde will be flip-flopping all over themselves, trying to get in face time with everyone you know, making you one crazy mixed bag of nuts. Of course, chances are you have an odd variety of people around you, making it easy to pick out the freaks that get off on this kind of thing. After all, why waste this level of insanity on just yourself?

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

When it comes to basic communications with others, you’re going to have to take the high route — perhaps so high, that you might have to walk over them to get to a new plateau. To say the least, they’ll be several occasions where someone you thought had a chance will start talking out of their ass and if you don’t take it as a sign, you will only have yourself to blame.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

There will be many things that’ll irritate you beyond belief this week, but this isn’t the time to express anger back. Best to just see these misgivings for what they are and quietly mark them down as points against these wrongdoers. When the time is right and with the proper strategy, you will be able to unload, move ahead of these twits and get back to where you belong — on top.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Can’t Stop Pining For The Sag That Got Away

I am a Leo (born at 7:56 p.m. on Aug. 7, 1984 in Texas) who is still hung up on a Sagittarius guy (Dec. 14, 1977 in Wisconsin) after three years. I was ready to be in a relationship and my life was in a great place. Unfortunately, he wasn’t. A woman had left him for another guy a couple years before and he was still not over it. We hung out a lot as friends and we didn’t ever have sex, though we came close a few times. Then things got intense very quickly (mostly my feelings for him) and he withdrew from me. Also, he made comments a few times that made me see that he was still heart broken after the last girl and he actually seemed to directing his pain into anger at her and women in general. He became a real downer, and I started to get pretty depressed too.

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For The Week Of March 1-7, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you hear something that doesn’t sit right with you and you’re feeling like you’re being lead into the wrong direction, pay attention. Your intuition will be on and if you trust it, it’ll save you from a pending disaster. Stop thinking you have to make any more excuses to get by, because there is no more time to waste.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Forget trying to get on the same page as your partner. Emotional unrest is going to be a part of the week, as the past will come back to haunt. Feel free to take that jaunt down memory lane, if you are indeed the one to get that calling, as this is the time to exorcise those demons once and for all. If it is him, just sit back and let things happen as they will, things will fall back into place.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A monkey wrench is going to be thrown into your routine, causing all sorts of delays and tipping off a few bizarre psychological hang-ups and even uncovering a few you didn’t know. To say the least, it’s a week of startling revelations of discovering you aren’t as brazen as you come across and that your tender side speaks way louder to the one that matters.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just as you go cruising along, living on the crest of this wave of happiness, down comes reality and washes it all away. Not to say what’s left behind is bad, just tougher to deal with than what you’ve acclimated yourself too. Yes, the honeymoon is over and now it’s time to start dealing with the important stuff — your ego.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

When it comes to changing anything up in your home life, don’t. Making impetuous decisions won’t be in your favor. Best to consider options and make sure when you are acting out of determination, not desperation. If you must do anything, move important tasks onto other territory, as it’s fine to do other things, like taking a vacation or a spa day.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Any last minute info you hear, ignore it. While news may shake you up, most of the time it’ll be a false alarm. Panic is just part of this phase, but with no real outcome. Think of it as the universe testing your preparations for emergencies, as thinking fast on your feet is skill you’re going to have to hone to be able to get you off of them in the near future.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Slowly, sluggishness will creep into your brain, but don’t let it kill your motivation on long-term goals. While there’ll be some second-guessing going on, approach it as reworking, rather than demolishing. As you should know you are an extreme lady, but not everything is always so black and white, so this week, consider those grays.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

With love, you can’t always know immediately if you’ve made the right choice. This week though, payback starts to come around and gives you peace of mind you haven’t had in ages. Lucky are you to see the one you once would of pledged your heart unconditionally to turn out to be such a loser — karmic satisfaction 100% guaranteed.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Life happens in cycles and if you’ve been feeling as if you are on a never-ending treadmill of tedium and angst, things are finally going to switch — however, into reverse, so hold on tight. This means the universe is going to open up Pandora’s Box in some way and throw a little craziness into the mix, which can make you appreciate the finer points of boredom.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Love or another meaningless fling is your perfect escape, as aggravation with friends will be the culprit of your duress. They’ll irritate to the point of wanting to erase all your contact info and start anew. While you’ll have reason to feel this way, it doesn’t mean you’re perfect either. There is always a cause to every effect and to think your best on this matter, it’ll require a little sweat.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You may want to rethink your sense of entitlement, because what you think you deserve isn’t even the prize that is up for grabs. A dose of humility will do wonders for you over the next several weeks, as you start seeing the path you are heading on isn’t the one you thought it might be — not to say it’s bad, just different.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Despite all the efforts you’ve put into helping another live a happier and more productive life; gratitude will be a rare commodity. While you can’t teach class to everyone, you can sympathize that they’ll never be as perfect as you and then rethink the extent of what you are giving. To be where you truly want to be, it means directing things on a two-way street.

In Bed With … Hugh Jackman

VITAL STATS
Born: October 12, 1968 in Sydney, Australia
Sun Sign: Libra
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Gemini
Mercury: Libra
Venus: Scorpio
Mars: Virgo

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