Profile for Kiki T

For The Week Of May 11-17, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

As the cliché says, “Just fake it, until you make it.” This means if you have to fib and turn the truth up a bit to impress that someone, go ahead. You have a tendency to “under talk” yourself anyway and if you think you are bragging, it’ll end up just being what really is going on anyway. You only have yourself to sell yourself and always hawk it to the highest bidder.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

They’ll be no accounting for your taste this week, but why judge yourself? Whatever gets your rocks off this week, just do it. No one is going to hold you responsible for all the decisions you make in life and nothing has to be forever, so lighten up and do what feels right and exciting, despite the unfamiliar surroundings.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your love life is about to hit a skid and whomever you are palling around these days with will have a high chance of driving nails into your brain and heart with thoughtless behavior. How you deal with this seemingly fatal flaw is up to you, as freewill be giving you a lot of leeway to do what you must this week to maintain your sanity.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Don’t let other’s promises hold you up from what you want to do. Not to say this is a week of flakes, although they will be a part of your week, but knowing you can’t rely too much on the day-to-day favors you’ll hear, as there will be something unexplainably ridiculous in the air that will cause obstacles. It’s nothing personal either, just inevitable.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don’t make everything out to be a big drama this week, because if you clutter your mind with garbage, everything will stink. It’s mind over matter time and owning up to the fact that you have full control and that no one can talk you off your dreams and if they do, know it’s wrong and then let it slide off your back and keep on keeping on.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Love won’t be easy because when it comes to what really matters to you, you won’t be able to see eye-to-eye and the controversy will burn you hot under the collar. However, people are entitled to their opinions and while you can argue your side, you can’t expect you are going to change anyone. If you do, you’re just asking for disappointment.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Finding the right words will escape you and being misunderstood can cause some long-term repercussions. Be clear with what you say and don’t let small arguments get out of hand. As it goes, this isn’t the time to be dealing with any heavy communications right now, as the lighter it stays, the less chance you have of falling into an emotional danger zone.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

A little stubbornness will get you what you want and when faced with this as your challenge to win victory, you might as well just put down your armor and enjoy waiting it out. Standstills are the best crossroads to bear right now, as it gives you time to rest and focus on other areas of your life. As it goes, this time around, you do have the upper hand to make the opposition sweat.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your sense of reasoning can’t always help you, especially now because essentially you’ll be using your skills to lie to yourself with a thick helping of excuses, which aren’t going to get you the love you want. Unless you get honest with yourself, there is no real joy. However, not all is lost if you just admit what you want, how you want it and without apology.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You have learned every lesson you need to know to get your life in the order you want. When it comes to love, even doubly so. This is no time to short change yourself into playing games that really aren’t worth your time, efforts or ego. Your skill and cleverness have far exceeded present situations. Don’t waste the energy.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your emotions are going to flip flop once again and you’ll repeal a commitment. Don’t worry, this sudden shift will be strong enough to push your off into a new and more exciting direction with a steadier pace. Trust you have plenty of karmic points to cruise you through this transition with grace and a positive upturn finale.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll be feeling as if your sense of authority is going to be undermined by someone close to you, causing major power struggles that won’t make your libido burn as hot as its known to. Instead, your tempers will be short and those around you will have to fend for themselves, as you won’t be someone to mess with.

For The Week Of May 4-10, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll be feeling your independence this week and it’ll surprise you with how liberating you can be and how daring you’re going to get. Feel free to let loose in the biggest way you can, as in being as extravagant, decadent and determined as possible, as you are in the driver’s seat this week and this is your time to live it up from a new perspective.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your uppity attitude and moral codes are going to make you feel more reserved than you have in a while, throwing you into the background and making you want to observe the world with a more open point of view. This will include reevaluating those closest to you and this could mean falling deeper in love or totally out.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

If something doesn’t give this week, like learning a secret, sealing the deal with that someone you’ve had ambiguous times with, or just an overall feeling of peace in your life, then it’s time to rethink your current situation because as it goes, one of those three things should relate to you now.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Deal with any paranoia you have about your health this week, as this is your bravest time to face those demons and get tested. If you’re with someone, then time to hit the clinic together for that oh-so romantic commitment sealer of getting your STD tests done together, so you can begin your entry into total monogamy on a pristine note.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Changing up your routines and letting the wind blow where it may will be of great benefit to you, if you are out to get the romance stirring back into your life. As it goes, if you step out of your comfort zone, you’ll be immediately and greatly rewarded with someone to really sink your teeth into and remind you that you’ve still got it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you just stay put and listen to your heart in silence for a second, it’ll tell you all you need to know. Otherwise, going at the rate you’re going, trying to come up with the smartest answers and over thinking the situation only kills your current potential. Seriously, the obvious is not only your best bet; it’s the easiest one too. Put away the drama and just deal already.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Communications will be all out of whack this week. While you will hear personal news that will bring a glow to your heart, you will also hear not-so-sunny news in regard to another, must likely a relative, that’ll put a damper on things. However, while it sucks to have to dim your bliss in light of circumstances around another, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it off completely.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you want a little more compassion from your honey, you’re going to have to step it up with gifts, some humility and worst of all, be willing to let him rehash the past to get the drama out of his system. Of courses, this sucking up your pride will be the worst, but if you want things to go back to normal, it’s necessary. To soften the blow, hit happy hour everyday before going home.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Clarity and cash are in your stars and they’ll both be lifting your confidence to a bold new level, giving you the power to tell those who have been using you like doormat to step off. Seriously, as you truly embrace what makes you happy and thrive, you’ll see that a lot of the old ways you had stuck in your head are just crap. Then, you can buy yourself something deliciously decadent.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your moment to say, “I told you so,” is coming and it’ll feel so good, that you’ll feel as if you had three weeks at the spa. Nothing spells bliss than satisfaction to know that you are indeed smarter than others and with this win, you can expect that someone special will be wanting to kiss your ass just a little more sweetly.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

When you find that you can bury the hatchet and finally let that someone that you thought was the devil back into your life and turn a new leaf, you will feel as if you are the most mature lady in the universe and for that you should definitely feel free to indulge yourself in whatever way you feel fit, because god damn it, you deserve it!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Someone you’ve been idealizing and thought of as unattainable is going to come through and make all your wildest dreams come true. However, don’t get too caught up in the moment, thinking this is your fairy tale ending, because this is only the beginning of the game and if you want to win in the end, this will mean showing some reserve too.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Can Our Long Distance Love Last?

I’m so confused about my current girlfriend. I’m a Sag and she’s a Libra. A little background info: We’ve only been together since February 13, but it started before that. Recently, I got stationed back home, after being gone for almost four years. I “re-met” this girl Ashley from high school when I was out celebrating my 22nd birthday. It was fireworks from the start. A few weeks later, we started talking about my deployment, and she said the longest she’s been away from a boyfriend is two weeks and even that was too hard. She promised me that she’d wait for me. Up until a week ago (five weeks in), things were good. I emailed her regularly, called her from foreign ports when I could. She even broke down and said that she never really noticed how much I meant to her until I was gone, eventually coming out and saying that she loved me. I knew how I felt about her and told her I loved her, too. Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 27-May 3, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Random kinky ideas will hit your brain like bolts of lightening, daring you to take your slinky little self to the other side of paradise. Think of this as a one-way ticket to a level of fulfilling lust you’ve never quite attained before, as the struggle between your prim and proper side hasn’t allowed you this enticing of an invitation before.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Although sex shouldn’t be a weapon, this week it’s the only effective arsenal you’ll have to prove a point to your honey that he can’t always have his cake and eat it too. If this means closing down the candy shop until he learns how to behave, consider it a compromise you’re going to have to make; then break out your vibrator and call it a day.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll need to think strategically when it comes to dealing with your honey and his aggravating idiosyncrasies that waste your time and much of his. While he won’t respond well to the tyrannical side of you that’ll be raging this week, be ready to burn that excess energy of yours in other ways before laying down the law in a fresh and fun way to that big confused baby of yours.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Fate will be frustrating you with tossing hotties to you that aren’t as bright as you’d wish. Although you’ll want to reason with yourself that perhaps it’ll take time to uncover their inner Einstein, you’ll know deep down that what you hear is really what they get. So, take this cue and realize screwing without talking is your best bet to get off this week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Having to prove you’re some crazy party animal isn’t the way to go when it comes to sealing the deal with that special someone. After all, when you’re done playing this charade, what are you going to be left with? Having to clean up a lie, live up to a imaginary standards or being stuck with regret? Realize the truth is your best defense and your hottest come on too.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Sure, your standards have come from long hard experiences that made you who you are. However, there are always exceptions to the rule and when those moments come, you’re just going to have to act fast and hop on the ride. This week, don’t be left behind because the picture you see isn’t as perfect as you’d wish it to be.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can give you a fast thrill and a boost of confidence when you need it — like this week, as all the answers you’re waiting for slow to a screeching halt and leave you anxious and in doubt. Go ahead, throw money at the problem and call it a day. If anything, buying a new standard will be an answer you’ll be able to rely on.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Trying new ways of reaching out for love is on your agenda this week. If this means accepting a blind date or posting that online profile, just get in touch with that pioneering spirit of yours and do it. While it might not give you instant gratification, it’ll at least put you in line for stirring up the love energy around you and for now, that is a success onto itself.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

They’ll be a feeling of urgency in your pants that won’t be the most cautious. However, getting put up against a fence and having to decide between practicality and little danger is hot onto itself and no matter how dreadful the circumstances, isn’t a little adventure worth the trade off? If anything, it’s a scandalous page for the memoirs.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Here you go again, revisiting a situation that started up a few weeks ago with a friendly acquaintance. This time around though, things won’t be as sketchy as they were and if you play your cards right and communicate your thoughts, without any game playing tactics, this could put you on a whole new level with that certain someone.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your heart will be telling you one thing, while the circumstances will be telling you another. No, this won’t be the easiest week for you to decipher what the hell is happening in your love life, but you can be thankful for one thing — your friends. They’ll be with you through this mess, so remember to be grateful and don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All the bumping and grinding you’ll be up to this week won’t be leaving you with too much motivation for much else, if it were up to you — but this is when you’re going to have to get in touch with your more disciplined side to turn it out — as in being able to spot a major career opportunity and using your wandering eye for more than just a good time.

In Bed With … Tyson Beckford

VITAL STATS
Born:
December 19, 1970 in the Bronx, NY
Sun Sign: Sagittarius
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Virgo
Mercury: Capricorn
Venus: Scorpio
Mars: Scorpio

Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Has My Taurus Lost Interest?

“I am an Aquarius (born Feb. 13th 1982) and my boyfriend is a Taurus (April 21st 1972). We’ve been together a few months and I have feelings for him, but his behavior confuses me. At first, he was all flowers and calling for no reason, but now he hardly ever calls. When we do meet it’s wonderful and he’s so loving! He sometimes talks about wanting to travel or buy a house, then casually asks me if I’d join him; but at the same time, he hasn’t planned our next rendez-vous himself for a while now. I feel rejected and neglected when he acts this way, but I’m afraid of scaring him off and being too needy if I say anything. So, I’m wondering if we went too fast at first, if he’s losing interest and is afraid to tell me, or if he’s maybe just trying to back off and see if I’m ‘the one’ or what?? So confused!” – Aquarius Lady Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 20-26, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you can put all your thinking aside and the need to be three steps ahead of yourself, then fate will finally be willing to step in and sock it to you with a little something something that’ll make you feel more ravishingly beautiful and shockingly sexy than you have in a while. Yes, this week, control is only something you should embrace after the orgasm.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Being blindsided by secret info that has you thinking of that someone special in a different way may take a few moments to absorb, but once the news settles into place, you’ll realize that what you have in your hands is a hotter and sexier piece than you ever thought before and that keeping off your hands off of him will be nearly impossible.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Striking a new deal is in your stars and pieces of what seemed like an awkward puzzle will start to come together, switching up your routines and turning a new page for you. While the chances of this are for the better, not worst, not all will be as pretty as you’d wish — as there still will be some combative energy to deal with, but think of that tension as your Spanish fly.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your love life is about to get a big dose of major power that’ll be throwing you into a whirlwind of activity, boosting your stamina and confidence to levels that should have you feeling superior and thrilled to be you. The only thing standing in your way this week in terms romance is you. Don’t be scared to take chances, as the bigger risks you take, the tastier the rewards.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

As much as you try to be cautious, looking in all directions before you take action, it won’t matter because who ever you have on the other line will be pulling plays that’ll surprise you in all the right ways — and as much as you might want to self sabotage yourself in this situation, oh well, not going to happen. The mesmerization will take control and you will (and should) submit.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Unfortunately, words are faster than actions and as much as you’ll be hearing all the right things, your inner cynic won’t be happy that there’s nothing to back it up. Whatever, time to stop holding onto your doubt like a safety vest and realize progress has to start somewhere. Not that you have to give in all the way, but communication is the beginning to all possibilities. Lighten up.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Drama can be fun, but not unless you can take responsibility for yours. While things in your love life might be taking a bit of a wonky path these days, it doesn’t have to mean taking it to the streets to plead your case. Having a sense of privacy will work highly in your favor, as sharing gossip about your relationship won’t be doing any good for anyone, least of all for you.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

There is going to be so much action happening around you, it’ll be smart to keep extra panties in your purse! Seriously, big issues from the past are finally going to be put to rest in a positive way, which will happily surprise you — and with the future wide open, you’ll be in prime position to put it ablaze with all your ideology and determination. Good times.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You comfort zone is about to get a shake up, but thankfully, you will be more than ready to handle it, start putting one foot in front of the next and making excitement happen again. Seems your taste will be taking a big swing to the left and a more dangerous and edgier approach to all matters of the heart will be the only way to turn you out right.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your instincts will be brewing with all sorts of ideas and fascinations when it comes to your love life, but still the view will be a bit cloudy. Best to let your friends have an opinions on your latest antics, as they can be the seeing eye dog that guides your love life back onto a path where the enlightenment isn’t as perplexing.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

For a split second you might of felt real love, but all of sudden, it seems you aren’t as impressed as you once were and with the haze clearing and your high being worn off, the reality of the situation you find yourself in seems to be a bit more platonic than previously assessed. Oh well, being a heartbreaker is the curse you were born to bear.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Second best is as good as nothing and if that is the motto you keep near and dear to your heart this week, then all will turn out just fantastic. Yes, career accolades are in the stars, as are raises and new responsibilities that’ll fire you up to feel like a woman in full control. With satisfaction like this, expect your libido to be as relentless.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Will My Virgin Virgo Want To Sow His Wild Oats?

“I’m a Cancer gal (07/07/1989, born at 12:36 pm), and I recently started dating a Virgo (09/04/1989) that I have known for a number of years. Even though we only got together recently, I have a really good feeling about this relationship. I know I get obsessed easily, but I pretty much feel like he’s y’know… ‘The One.’ He’s also expressed similar feelings for me. So the other night he confided in me that he is still a virgin. Not because he hasn’t had the chance, he just didn’t feel right with the girls he did have chances with. Now, I am not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with three people and can probably count on my fingers (and toes) how many times I have had intercourse. I just worry that he’s not going to stick with the girl he first sticks it to, and is going to want to sow his wild oats later on. Am I freaking out unnecessarily or should I be worried?” – Cancer Gal Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 13-19, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Lust is going to make you crazy, as what you thought was happening is going to hightail itself in the opposite direction, making you more confused than ever. Don’t think too much on the past, as what was once true is no longer the case. For now, the only thing you should trust is your future and making things right with yourself again.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You won’t be able to rely on logic this week, as making sense is so last week. Now, it’s time to use your creativity and instincts to plow through responsibilities and any dragging emotional issues you have. Think the softer and more compassionate route and a week from now, you’ll find yourself landing back to reality softly and sweetly.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your dreamy romantic emotions are going to be taking a turn, this time into a more aggressive realm, where you no longer have to fantasize about those things you want, but actually be able to have them as hard facts. Yes, this is the time to really put yourself on the line and get in charge of how you want to turn it out.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Put your phone on silent, because there’ll be more than a few crazy calls from those closest to you about ridiculous things that’ll be of no bearing to you. While you can strive to be everyone’s best friend, don’t waste your energy on such things because as it goes, this is prime season for you to be on your back, not on the phone.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Someone close to you, or yourself, will be letting down their wall big time and the wave of emotions is expected to be at tsunami levels. Whichever the case, don’t censor yourself. Take this ride for what its worth and let it take you were it will. In the end, at the least, it’ll make you feel refreshed and tighter with that special someone.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A feeling of restlessness is inevitable and there are only a few things that’ll somewhat calm those nerves. Of course you can always screw your week away, but chances are that might jack your anxiety levels more, as your mind will have the tendency to wander off into bizarre emotional caves from it. Sorry to say, the best thing for you to curl up to this week is a good book.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You can’t give anyone you world right now, but you don’t have to feel bad about it. There is no reason you own anything to anybody, other than yourself right now. Best to rethink commitments you‘ve made and really sort out your emotions in a way that has you feeling good about yourself and back in control. If you can do this on a solo getaway, book the trip right now!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You shouldn’t have to pretend all is right in your world, no matter whom you’re trying to mislead. The fact is it’ll catch up to you. Besides, there’s no reason to hide the foibles that fill your life, as those are the things that up your steaminess, as it’s the things that challenge you that make you hot — as least in the eyes of the man candy you have on the hook now.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The friendship part of your love life will be your priority this week, as the focus will turn to the companionship part of your relationship and has you relearning what you found so endearing about the other in the first place. Not to say sex won’t be a part of your week, but certainly not the grand prize.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Apologies from a bonehead from your past will be the highlight of your week, but not so much the satisfaction you’ll win from the obvious grovel, but because you realize how little this will mean to you at the end of the day and how far you’ve come from the seemingly endless torture you once felt over this moronic someone.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Having high-flying ideals and talking a big game isn’t sexy, unless you back it up. As much as you feel and say you want to do what you want, talking won’t make them happen, nor will thinking about it. Action is on the agenda and if you want to save face, this will mean hopping onto the bucking bronco and riding it into the wild unknown.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The secrets you think you’ve hidden aren’t as inconspicuous as you think and the lies will come out. Drama, heavy emotion and all the mysterious things that have power over you will unravel, throwing you into crisis mode. Whatever, karma is a bitch and you’ll have to deal, but at the least, look forward to a short recovery time.

In Bed With … Ryan Reynolds

VITAL STATS:
Born: October 23, 1976 in Vancouver (Canada)
Sun Sign: Scorpio
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Libra
Venus: Sagittarius
Mars: Scorpio

Keep reading »

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