Katrin Higher

Katrin is a writer, stand-up comedian, and devourer of all things literary and artistic. She also loves pop culture, feminist news and everything in-between. She has an associates degree in Acting from AMDA and a BA in English Literature from Marymount Manhattan College. Her biggest wish is to have a washer/dryer unit in her home and to be able to consume as many croissants as humanly possible before she dies.

Read more from Katrin Higher

Teacher Was Late 111 Times And Blames His Breakfast

Elementary school teacher Arnold Anderson was allowed to keep his job despite being late for work 111 times in the last two years. His reason for being late is that he likes to eat breakfast. Uhhh…
Anderson didn’t even lose his job, where he makes $90,000 a year (I had no idea elementary school teacher…

Katrin Higher / August 29, 2015

Police Leave Reporter A Voicemail About Her “Fucking Giant Tits”

We didn’t know people even left voicemails anymore, but Colorado Deputy Sergeant Zach Farnam accidentally did when calling The Durango Herald reporter Chase Olivarius-McAllister back for a crime stats report.
He called her back with two other officers on the line as well, and when she didn’t answer, it obviously went to voicemail. But instead of hanging…

Katrin Higher / August 29, 2015

Patches Is The Crossing Guard Dog Who Helps Kids Safely Cross the Street

A 5-year-old black “Malti-Poo” (Maltese/Cockapoo mix) named Patches, wears a crossing guard vest and stop sign to help kids safely cross the street in the town of Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania and I am officially in love with him.

ABC Latest News | Latest News Videos

I’m not sure why we don’t have…

Katrin Higher / August 29, 2015

Watch: Disturbing Video Of Sarah Palin Adoring Donald Trump

Former VP candidate Sarah Palin is clearly head-over-heels for presidential candidate Donald Trump. I guess “mavericks” should stick together.
But one look at the video and it’s clear that they are both really boring mavericks. Yawn.
One of the funniest moments however, is when Palin asks him about the “idiots in the press” and Trum…

Katrin Higher / August 29, 2015

Julian Assange Fears Assassination Since ‘White Guys Are Now Targets’

Julian Assange, the Australian WikiLeaks founder and alleged rapist is still in asylum in Equador, after Sweden and France rejected his pleas to live there. He was granted political asylum by the government of Ecuador under the 1951 Refugee Convention in 2012.
Recently he interviewed with Time, complaining that he never gets to see the…

Katrin Higher / August 29, 2015

Watch: Japan’s Incredible Variety of Kit Kat Flavors

Warning: If you are PMSing, do not watch this unless you are ready to impulsively buy a plane ticket to Tokyo like I almost did for the sole purpose of eating all of these Kit Kats.
In stupid America, we only get one flavor: chocolate. Yes there are white and milk chocolate bars, so that…

Katrin Higher / August 23, 2015

Ben Affleck’s Nanny Has Been Offered $1M To Star In Batman Porn Parody

Oh boy. The porn parody producer and director Axel Braun has reportedly offered Ben and Jen’s ex-nanny, Christine Ouzounian, $1 million to star in a Batman/Superman porn parody film, originally titled: Batman v Superman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody.
The parody is coming out following Affleck’s new starring role as a Batman in the Hollywood…

Katrin Higher / August 23, 2015

New Shonda Rhimes Show Is In The Works

Attention lovers of “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Scandal” and “How To Get Away With Murder,” Shondaland has a new show in the works, and this time it’s a comedy. Woo hoo!
The show will be called “Splitsville” and was conceived by “Trophy Wife” creators Emily Halpern and Sarah Haskins. It will portray divorced residents of a suburba…

Katrin Higher / August 23, 2015

Florida Approves Alcohol Serving Restaurant/Shooting Range Combo Near Busy Highway Because Florida

Daytona Beach city commissioners have just a-ok’d resident Ron Perkinson’s proposed $7 million combo shooting range and adjacent restaurant project to be opened in November. The facility will be located near Daytona International Speedway just off Interstate 95.
YEE-HAW MOTHERFUCKERS!
Perkinson wants to stress that the restaurant will be “on the scale of a…

Katrin Higher / August 23, 2015

Famous Giant Panda Mei Xiang Gives Birth To Twin Cubs At National Zoo

The Smithsonian National Zoo’s 17 year old Giant Panda Mei Xiang, famous panda mom of Bao Bao who is now two years old, just gave birth to twin babies last night!
Look at this little red thing:

So far the mini cubs are healthy, but time will tell if they make it because it&#8217…

Katrin Higher / August 23, 2015

Rachel Dolezal Is Probably Preggers According To Deleted Instagram Post

The Ex-NAACP chapter leader Rachel Dolezal, the white woman who posed as black for most of her life, is expecting a child, according to a recently deleted post from her private Instagram account.
On Tuesday, Dolezal appeared to announce her pregnancy through a vague-ass caption on a pic of bear cubs, claiming she was expecting…

Katrin Higher / August 22, 2015

Bey and Blue Ivy Hang Out In Matching Mother/Daughter Swimsuits

Beyoncé took to Instagram to share her and her mini-me, Blue Ivy, chilling on a boat together with adorable matching swim suits. Naturally, we just had to show you here because duh. Is there any better way to spend a weekend?
Please be prepared for the cuteness. I am warning you now:…

Katrin Higher / August 22, 2015

Grace Jones Performs Topless At 67 Years Old And Is Better Than You

A 67 year old Grace Jones in body paint and underwear outdoes all of you by the way.
The iconic singer headlined the Brooklyn Afropunk Festival in Brooklyn on Friday night to glowing response.
Oh did we mentioned she also hulahooped??!!
Yep:

Bow down.
[Daily Mail]…

Katrin Higher / August 22, 2015

Jeb Bush Campaign Mailer Has An Unfortunate Photoshop Error

2016 Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush’s ‘Super PAC Right to Rise’ campaign sort of jumped the gun on sending a mailer to 85,000 Iowans, without checking the damn image first.
Some graphics person may very well lose their job because uh, there is definitely something up with Jeb’s left hand here:

Yeah. Maybe Rachel…

Katrin Higher / August 22, 2015

Sam Of ‘Sam And Nia’ Says He Is Totally Forgiven By God For Ashley Madison Account

Oh good! God himself came down and forgave “broken Christian” Sam Rader for setting up an Ashley Madison account. Also, you guys, don’t worry because he did all this stuff way before they were ever famous on Youtube! Ok, that makes it better (???)
After learning yesterday that Sam had set up an account (though…

Katrin Higher / August 22, 2015

Man Brings Boa Constrictor Into Restaurant, Claims It Is His ‘Service Animal’

Some diners freaked when a Missouri man walked into a restaurant with a boa constrictor snake around his neck.
Per the ADA, the only service animals allowed are actually dogs, but this dude didn’t think that was the case, claiming that his boa “helps with my depression.”
One of the restaurant patrons, Lisa Loeffelholz, made…

Katrin Higher / August 16, 2015

Julian Bond, Former NAACP Chairman And Civil Rights Leader Dies At Age 75

Julian Bond, former chairman of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and an important figure in the civil rights movement since the 1960s, died on Saturday night.
Bond was also an elquent writer, poet, television commentator, lecturer, and college teacher. He also fiercely opposed the Vietnam War in the 1970s, becoming a…

Katrin Higher / August 16, 2015

Madeline Stuart, Model With Down’s Syndrome To Walk NY Fashion Week

Madeline Stuart, the 18-year-old model with Down’s syndrome, has just announced she will be walking at this year’s New York Fashion Week in the fall. Woo hoo!
Stuart’s dream is to be a model on ad campaigns and to walk down fashion runways to help “change society’s view of people with Down syndrome.”
She ha…

Katrin Higher / August 16, 2015

Caitlin Jenner And Chaz Bono Visit Gender Diverse Children At LA Hospital

Caitlin Jenner teamed up with another high-profile transgender figure, Chaz Bono, at the Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles for an event with the group “Transforming Family“, a support group allowing families to explore gender identity issues.
Giving their famous names to a group such as this, furthers the cause and creates interest and more support.

Katrin Higher / August 16, 2015

Bear Sticks Head Through Cat Door, Is Derpy As Hell

Doug Harder of Sandpoint, Idaho can’t bear it anymore! (I am so sorry.)
The condo owner has had a bear problem since May, and in the latest attempted break-in the bears have tried to come through the darn cat doors.
You guys:
Obviously the bear was too big to get through the cat…

Katrin Higher / August 16, 2015

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