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24 People We Wish We Could Leave Behind With 2014

2014 has been a year of many highs, many lows, and many assholes. And in our hopes to start the New Year with a fresh slate, we’re most excited about leaving behind the legendary douchebagginess of this year’s biggest offenders. So without further ado, here are 24 people (and groups) who need to never return in the New Year.

D’Angelo Releases Black Messiah, The Sex Soundtrack Of The Season

It’s been 14 years since D’Angelo has graced us with a new album, but the time has finally come — and so will a lot of you, because Black Messiah is just begging to be banged to. But would we really expect anything less from the guy who brought us “Brown Sugar”? Nope. Keep reading »

To Promote “Taken 3,” Liam Neeson Will Endorse Your “Particular Set Of Skills” On LinkedIn

Liam Neeson is badass, and exactly the kind of person I would want to have my back should I find myself in trouble — or unemployed. The actor, who plays ex-CIA operative Brian Mills in the “Taken” movies is hosting a contest to promote “Taken 3,” giving fans the chance to have Brian Mills endorse their “particular set of skills.” Imagine the amount of profile views the winner will get from having Liam Neeson tell the world how proficient they are in Photoshop and Microsoft Excel. I WANT TO WIN.

To enter, all you have to do is follow this page on LinkedIn to be entered. The contest runs through December 23, and the winner will be announced the week of January 4, when Neeson will record the video for the lucky winner. [Mashable]

Coming Soon: Margaret Cho’s New Late-Night TLC Show “All About Sex”

Coming Soon: Margaret Cho's New Late-Night TLC Show "All About Sex"

It’s happening! TLC has approved a late-night show hosted by crude (and super funny) comedienne Margaret Cho called “All About Sex.” The first episode will air January 10, and it (appropriately) comes on just after “Sex Sent Me To The ER.” Thank goodness for DVR, because as much as I would love to stay up until 11pm to watch, I plan on being in REM stage by then. Keep reading »

Watch “Even Santa Poops,” PooPourri’s Hilariously Punny Christmas Video

It's The Ghost Of Christmas Ass

You gotta go when you gotta go, even if you’re Santa Claus. And this year, St. Nick got caught with his pants down. PooPourri, a pre-poo spray that helps eliminate stinky odors, has come up with a clever, hilarious Christmas video to let everybody know that no matter who you are or where you find yourself when nature calls, you should be armed and ready to drop a deuce, or in Santa’s case, “to make your dingleberries smell like jingle-berries.” Check out the video to watch two little girls chastise Santa for making their house smell like “a gingerbread manslaughter.”

25 Everyday Things You Can’t Do After You’ve Painted Your Nails

We’ve all been there: it’s Sunday morning and that new Essie nail color is calling your name. You decide to paint your nails, completely forgetting that for an extended period of time after your mani, you’re unable to do a damn thing except sit still with your fingers stretched out in front of you like you’re a frightened baby animal. Even the most simple everyday tasks are impossible. Just gave yourself a fresh coat of “Ballet Slipper” pink? Do not attempt to do any of these common things. Keep reading »

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