Profile for Katie Oldenburg

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Simple And Genius: A Kid’s Guide To Picking Up Chicks

How To Pick Up Chicks

“Experts” are constantly telling us how to do things: How To Find Your Soulmate In 5 Days, How To Brew Your Own Beer, How To Write The Perfect Love Letter and so on. But I’m convinced the kids of the world should really be the ones running it, what with their impartial insights and inability to bullshit. Lucky for those of you who need some help with the ladies, some smart kid has written a no-fail guide on “How To Pick Up Chicks” (which he spelled ‘Checks,’ but this has nothing to do with banking). This, my friends, is how it’s done. [Reddit]

 

13 Reasons Everybody Hates Grocery Shopping (In GIFs!)

13 Things To Loathe About Grocery Shopping

I will literally wait until the only food left in my house is one-half of a stale Ritz cracker before I force myself to go to the grocery store. If it’s not enough that you need a down jacket to walk through the frozen food aisle without getting hypothermia, there are about 80 other things that make me dread trips to the supermarket. If you’re like me, these 13 reasons to despise the grocery store will remind you why you should just order take-out the rest of the month. Keep reading »

Why I’m Proud, And Sometimes Embarrassed, To Be A Sorority Girl

Why I'm Proud, And Embarrassed, To Be A Sorority Girl

When I first went into college, I was adamant about not “going greek.” I will not buy my friends and I will not subject myself to the ridicule of being hazed, I thought. I knew some of my girlfriends would decide to join sororities and some would not, but regardless of who came and went, I knew that my true friends would remain close to me. After a year in college, a few of my hallmates convinced me to attend a rush event, where I’d have the opportunity to visit their sorority and get to know the members: it was nothing more than an informational gathering with food and “mocktails” (drinking was prohibited), so I decided to humor them and go. I left there that night feeling like there was a whole new world outside the confines of my dorm room; one that not only broadened my horizons socially and allowed me to meet a ton of fascinating women of different ages and from different backgrounds, but one that would also give my daily routine some structure. Members were required to obtain a specific GPA, remain involved in a certain amount of extra curricular clubs and activities, and uphold the values of the organization— these requirements would be monitored closely or else you would lose your membership. Before I knew it, I was recruited and decided to go for it. Keep reading »

14 Reasons Phoebe Buffay From “Friends” Is My Kindred Spirit (In GIFs!)

13 Ways Phoebe Buffay Is My Spirit Animal (In GIFS)

Sometimes in life, we meet a person who we instantly connect with on soul-to-soul level. For me, that person is Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe, played by Lisa Kudrow, was kind of the wildcard character on “Friends,” who embraced her idiosyncrasies and had no problem telling it like it was. For this, I love her. I’m fairly certain we were created from some of the same molecules or cells or something, and these 14 GIFs perfectly demonstrate why Phoebe Buffay/Regina Phalange/Princess Consuela Bananahammock is my kindred spirit. Keep reading »

13 Life Lessons Learned From “The Shawshank Redemption” & “Pulp Fiction” On Their 20th Anniversary

It just so happens that two of my all-time favorite movies are both celebrating their 20th Anniversary today. “The Shawshank Redemption” made me laugh, cry, and truly appreciate the legendary acting of one Mr. Morgan Freeman. On the other hand, “Pulp Fiction” opened my eyes to the genius behind Quentin Tarantino’s directing and taught me about the versatility of the f-word. To commemorate these legendary films, let’s take a look 13 movie quotes that taught us important life lessons on everything from hope and pride to foot massages and breakfast.

Size Does Matter: “Fifty Shades Of Grey” Wine Just Got Bigger And Better

Size Does Matter: "Fifty Shades Of Grey" Wine Just Got Bigger And Better

Warning: I will try and refrain from making continuous size and girth puns while writing this post.

“Fifty Shades Of Grey” wine has been on the market for a few years now, but E.L. James, the author of the book series, has upped the ante for those of us who fancy a … bigger specimen. Now, E.L.’s very own Red Satin blend, inspired by the romance and passion between the trilogy’s main characters, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, will be offered in a limited edition, 3-liter bottle. Equal in volume to four standard wine bottles, the “Fifty Shades of Grey” Red Satin Collector’s Edition includes a hand-engraved bottle painted by artisans in Napa Valley, California, and is hand-dipped in a red hot wax seal. FANCY. Keep reading »

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