We pick up our phone everyday, see the same pattern of emoji-laden iMessages from the same seven people. When we head to the bar, we’re drawn to buy a drink for the same kinds of people — the pierced girl, the prep, the bookish nerd, the rustic leather jacket clad bad boy. Our types are… READ MORE »
I am certain that I am a woman. Here’s proof: these two mammary glands, my monthly menstruation and, oh yes, I am utterly addicted to chocolate.
The way I eat chocolate — the way I fiend for it — you’d think there was some Darwinian motivation behind it. Throughout my life, I have… READ MORE »
Each summer, as I dare to don the shorter garments in my closet, I’m taken back to junior high gym class. Playing kickball and running laps with no athletic ability was pretty humiliating, but worse was doing it as the most pallid, Gollum-like adolescent in the gym. As classmates caught sight of my near translucent,… READ MORE »
On some unfortunate Sunday mornings, as we stare into the depths of our toilet bowls after a long hurl session and put a palm to our throbbing heads, most of us repeat the mantra, “I am NEVER drinking again!” Though temperance would be the global cure for our perpetual hangovers, drinking also seems to give… READ MORE »
Think back to when your parents first told you, as you uncomfortably sat across from them on the couch with sweaty palms, about the birds and the bees. Your mom told you a sweet little tale about how a sperm meets an egg, the egg is fertilized, a baby grows in her stomach, and in… READ MORE »
Do you remember laying flat on your bed, eyes gushing like Old Faithful, unsightly snot dripping down way too close to your open mouth? This is you after your dog died. This is you after a break up. This is you after failing to assemble an Ikea chair.
This image comes frighteningly close… READ MORE »