Profile for Kate Fridkis

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Mirror, Mirror: 8 Reasons I’m Thankful For My Body

Mirror Mirror: High Heels
Kate contemplates really high heels. Read More »
Mirror Mirror: Age 65
How Kate wants to be when she's 65. Read More »
Thanksgiving!
It's Thanksgiving again. We're here for you. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Rules
Kate comes up with better beauty rules. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other week on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I was standing in line at the Whole Foods bathroom, and I glanced over and saw myself in the mirror. I was packed in with a bunch of other women, and they were all looking glamorous because it was Columbus Circle and that is how people look there. I, of course, did not look glamorous, but when I caught sight of myself in the bathroom crowd, something cool happened. I felt this spark of pride. Like, “That one is mine.” Like when your dog is all scrappy and mutty, and you’re like, “Fuck these purebreds, my dog kicks butt.” I felt like that. And now I’ve compared myself to a dog, so we’re off to a good start. Keep reading »

Mirror Mirror: On High Heels

Mirror Mirror: Costumes
What about these costumes we wear? Read More »
Mirror Mirror: Body Hair
Why are women supposed to be hairless? Read More »
Mirror Mirror: Age 65
How Kate wants to be when she's 65. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other week on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I lead services at a synagogue, and I need to dress up for my job. Nothing over the top—just business-y, tailored clothes paired with nice shoes. For the longest time, my mom was my workwear fashion consultant, because none of my friends were working somewhere that required a suit, and she advised that I go with padded shoulders, long skirts, stockings, and thick, low heels. So I did, because I am oblivious. Then I moved to NYC, and I was like, “Oh! THIS is how people dress.” And I bought some pencil skirts and some legitimate heels. And then those heels wore out, and then, stay with me, because this is about to get really interesting: I went to DSW.

And I tried on heels.

And I began to ask some existential questions like, “How do women wear these things and not fall down the subway steps and kill themselves?” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Assorted Thoughts On Losing My Engagement Ring

Why I Got Married Young
To me, 24 seemed like the perfect age. Read More »
Engaged Without A Ring
hitched photo
Andrea's engagement didn't involve a giant rock. Read More »
Marriage Pressure
She feels pressured to either get married or break up. Read More »

I lost my engagement ring. I mean, really lost it. I haven’t seen it in a month, maybe more. I wish I was a robot and I could check my memory chip and replay all of my thoughts and actions, because then I would know exactly what happened, and I would also experience those amazing tortillas we got all over again. But maybe robots don’t like melted cheese as much as I do?

Focus.

I looked under everything with a flashlight. My dad blamed the cat, but she maintains her innocence. I looked under everything again, with a different flashlight that seemed a little brighter. It was gross under everything and I didn’t want to reach in there, but I’m pretty sure there was no ring.

And I’m probably not supposed to say this, but I don’t miss it. Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: The Costumes We Wear

Mirror Mirror: Age 65
How Kate wants to be when she's 65. Read More »
Mirror Mirror: Body Hair
Why are women supposed to be hairless? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Carbs
Is Kate the only person who still eats carbs? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Awkward
In praise of awkward beauty. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

Every year for Halloween, I used to dress up as a gypsy. I was a lazy little kid, I guess, and I didn’t want to make some complicated costume. So I just put on a long skirt and a bunch of my mom’s jewelry and wrapped a bandana around my head, and people were like, “Are you a hippie?” And I was like, “Obviously not. I’m wearing a sash. Come on, people.”

One year, when I was being a gypsy and I was trick-or-treating with a pirate, a witch, and Simba in the sprawling ranch house development lower-income suburban New Jersey had conveniently provided us with, I saw my babysitter, dressed as a devil. But she didn’t look like a scary devil. She looked like some other kind of devil I’d never imagined. It was weird. I wondered if when I got to be older, as old as 14 say, if I’d wear things like that, with my belly showing even though it was cold. I wondered if Halloween was different when you were my babysitter’s age. Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: How I Want To Be At 65

Mirror Mirror: Body Hair
Why are women supposed to be hairless? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Awkward
In praise of awkward beauty. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Rules
Kate comes up with better beauty rules. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

The other day, I was having lunch with a 65-year-old woman who was on a strict diet. She told me she needed to lose 10 pounds before she would feel like a real person again. She wasn’t letting herself buy any new clothes until she dropped a couple sizes. She loved fashion, but she wanted to punish herself, so that she would learn her lesson.

“No, no,” I protested. “You look great! You don’t need to change anything.”

She gave me an empty smile. “That’s sweet of you.”

She didn’t like her hair either. She didn’t like her arms. They were too flabby, she thought. Her legs were too short. And then, of course, there were her wrinkles. She was racing against time to combat all of the signs that she was no longer 30. And suddenly, I was scared. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Stop Waiting To Be Prettier

My Nose Job
One writer talks about getting a nose job. Read More »
I'm Not Beautiful
But that's okay. Read More »
Tell Me I'm Pretty
Is it so much to ask to want to be told I'm beautiful? Read More »

You know that moment, where you’re gripping some of your side fat in the bath, and you just ate all of the leftover spaghetti at once, with pesto and tomato sauce and grated cheese and, weirdly, liverwurst, and you’re thinking, Tomorrow I will go to the gym. And then I’ll go every day after that, for the rest of my life. And I will lose weight. It’ll be easier than I expect it to. And then my hair will grow out and it’ll be thicker than last time. And then I’ll be prettier. And then I’ll wear sleeveless dresses all the time and I’ll be happy?

That moment is lying to you. Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: On Femininity And Body Hair

Soapbox: No Pubic Hair
Why this woman doesn't have pubic hair. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Awkward
In praise of awkward beauty. Read More »
Soapbox: Pro Pubic Hair!
A soapbox about why we should keep our pubic hair. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

One lazy, yet revolutionary summer, I let my leg hair grow, just to see what would happen. I’m not kidding, all of the guys I met liked it, even if they had to tell me secretly later, after making fun of me first. I was surprised by how silky it was.

I was 15. My mom made me shave when I started a job in the fall.

I am still not sure how much body hair should matter, but I lean towards “not at all” and the rest of the world seems to think “SO MUCH OH MY GOD PLEASE SHAVE YOURSELF BEFORE WE ALL BARF OUR BRAINS OUT.”

At this party the other night, I listened as the women talked about how they were all getting electrolysis and laser hair removal. There are some great deals on Groupon, apparently. Everyone was getting their pubic hair done first. Then probably all the rest.

I’ll be honest, my pubic hair rarely occurs to me. I mean, yeah, it’s there, I went through puberty and stuff. But mostly, like a backwoods, hopeless, potentially dirty barf-inducing dork-chump, I just assume it’s fine.

And mostly it’s fine. Except for this one time when I took off my clothes and the guy I was with said, “Wow. Um, the last girl I dated was Asian, so…” Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: In Praise Of Awkward Beauty

Mirror, Mirror: Rules
Kate comes up with better beauty rules. Read More »
Talking About Bodies
Kate reflects on hearing men talk about women's bodies. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Girls
Why Kate's always checking them out. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

So I’ve given it some thought and I’d like to propose the establishment of a new category of beauty. Awkward Beauty. That’s my working title.

Awkward Beauty sometimes looks like it’s not beauty at all, but that’s wrong. That’s only because we’ve gotten so boring. We’ve watched too many shampoo commercials. Look closer. It doesn’t fit in, but it’s the real deal. Not like Emma Watson playing Hermione Granger with smooth hair. No, like the real Hermione Granger, who had features that stood out, hair that couldn’t be stopped.

The current popular definition of beauty seems to have a lot to do with shininess. Shiny hair, shiny legs, shiny lips, very big, very shiny eyes. Shiny boobs are a plus. The current definition involves a lot of strict symmetry, sort of like those photos that Science compiled of every face in the world that end up with one totally smoothed-out face that everyone thinks is the most beautiful because there is NOTHING interesting on it at all. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Hearing Men Talk About Women’s Bodies

10 Ways To Love Your Body
Summer's the perfect time to show your bod some love! Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Girls
Why Kate's always checking them out. Read More »
Relationships & Body Image
How does your love life affect your body image? Read More »

I was on the train, heading back to NYC from New Jersey and there were three guys sitting behind me. They were talking about life. Which meant that they were mostly talking about girls.

“Sometimes some girls ask me if I have an ideal woman,” said the guy with the deep, commanding baritone, his voice carrying over the crackling of a broken ceiling speaker. He paused for dramatic effect.“I can give you measurements.”

The other guys chuckled, low and a little menacing.

Deep Voice didn’t leave his bros wondering. “34 C,” he said. “Definitely 34 C…” Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: 11 Better Beauty Rules

Mirror, Mirror: Girls
Why Kate's always checking them out. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Carbs
Is Kate the only person who still eats carbs? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Bra
Why Kate's ditching her padded bra. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I have this giant list of beauty rules stuck in my head. It was implanted there when I was just a little girl, and although a lot of the work was done by this really popular girl in my 6th grade Hebrew School class, American Culture also contributed plenty.

Don’t wear short skirts unless you have long legs. Don’t wear horizontal stripes, you’ll look wider. Wear black, it’s slimming. Don’t wear long dresses unless you have long legs. Moisturize or you’ll get wrinkles. Don’t wear red lipstick if you’re too pale. Stay out of the sun. Get a tan. Don’t wear something low cut unless you have cleavage (you’ll look like a boy in a dress)/ don’t wear something low cut if you have cleavage (you’ll look trashy). Don’t wear anything anyone might consider sexy to work. Don’t wear heels if you’re too tall. Don’t wear flats if you’re too short. Don’t eat too much cake. If your nose is too big, you’re screwed. If you have short legs, your life will be sadder than it might have been.

On and on and on and on forever.

I want to write some new rules. I want to write a whole book of new rules. Maybe an encyclopedia set. But I have to start somewhere, so: Keep reading »

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