Kate Fridkis

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Mirror, Mirror: I Am Sexier As A Mom

I figured that after I had a baby my body would be like a soldier after war, with the proud, annoying battle scars that have a good story but don’t dress up well. A few things went differently than expected: I had a real baby, which is sort of impossible to imagine beforehand and sort…

By: Kate Fridkis / October 29, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Why You Should Take More Selfies

I am trying to be a little more organized, since I’m going to have a baby in about five minutes, and in honor of this effort, I sat down to weed through the old photos on my computer. Apparently, I used to take a lot of selfies (before they were known as selfies). You know,…

By: Kate Fridkis / July 18, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: The Family Beauty

My husband’s grandmother looked like a movie star when she was young. You should see the pictures! There’s one of her perched on a rock in her bathing suit, and it looks like she was posed there by a famous photographer. Everyone always comments on it. “Wow!” we say, “You were such a beauty!” And…

By: Kate Fridkis / July 8, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Permission To Eat

I eat my secret cookies in the middle of the night. There is something clandestine, furtive about my stealthy trip to the kitchen, long after the world has gone to sleep. I am mostly asleep myself, I reason. This is hardly even happening. I can’t help it, it’s not my fault, I don’t even know…

By: Kate Fridkis / June 20, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: How I Want My Daughter To Look

I was so sure I was having a boy. I’d even given my baby a boy name, and I talked to my belly and told him he was a great son. A strong, noble, excellent son. People said, “A mother knows…” and nodded along with me. Not this mother. Apparently, this mother doesn’t know shit.

By: Kate Fridkis / June 6, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Why You Should Feel Good About The Way You Look Right Now

It seems like one Harvard professor or another in exceedingly blue, alarmingly stiff jeans is always coming out with a pop psych book about happiness and how misunderstood it is. Apparently, people make a lot of the same mistakes about happiness over and over. We keep thinking that we have to work really hard to…

By: Kate Fridkis / May 16, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: I Stopped Using Shampoo

A little over a month ago, I stopped using shampoo. And, speaking as someone who has clearly never been in serious bodily danger, it felt like I was being very brave. Just a couple days, I told myself reassuringly. And then, when you look like a horrifying ball of dripping grease, you can do the

By: Kate Fridkis / May 2, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: First World Problems Are Real Problems

“My drive from work is too short for me to decide what to listen to on Spotify #firstworldproblems” was a recent tweet from the Twitter account First World Problems. The tweet reached over 50,000 people, and it was only one in a long list of mildly amusing little complaints about an easy, well-fed, upper-middle cla…

By: Kate Fridkis / April 19, 2013

The Soapbox: The Problem With The Dove Real Beauty Sketches Campaign

Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for the message “seriously, though, you’re beautiful.” And I agree with the viral clip, so many of us get distracted by all of our perceived flaws. We get caught up in criticizing our appearances and miss out on our own beauty. We are often more generous toward…

By: Kate Fridkis / April 18, 2013

Girl Talk: Stop Telling Me I Should Focus On Getting My Old Body Back

Well, of course, someone had to take some photos of me at a party, wearing my favorite dress (should I just stop wearing the clothes I love to events where there might photos taken?), bulky, lopsided, unfortunately proportioned, and my pregnant beauty bubble, so to awkwardly speak, was popped. Shit. No matter how many time…

By: Kate Fridkis / April 17, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Touch My Belly, Please

“Can I touch your belly?” my friend squealed, rushing towards it, hands outstretched. Then she stopped in her tracks. “I mean,” she said, suddenly bashful, “only if it’s okay, of course! Are you letting people?” I am five months pregnant. And I keep reading on the various boards and sites where all of the talk…

By: Kate Fridkis / April 4, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Sometimes I Like When Guys Compliment Me On The Street

Sometimes I’m walking outside and a guy I don’t know calls out a compliment. Sometimes I like it. I smile for a second and go on with my day. And it has been pointed out to me that this is probably very bad. There are lots of reasons why it’s bad for men to compliment…

By: Kate Fridkis / March 21, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: On Pregnancy And Body Image

I am 19 weeks pregnant. In pregnancy, everything is measured in weeks, and I keep wanting to wish my fetus a happy beginning-of-the-next-week birthday. Because we made it this far and we should celebrate, damn it. But I guess that gets a little excessive. People keep telling me, “You barely look pregnant!” And it’s frustrating,…

By: Kate Fridkis / March 7, 2013

The Soapbox: In Defense Of Personal Essays

When I started writing personal essays on the internet, I was half embarrassed, half proud. Even though I grew up in a generation that’s supposedly all about oversharing and Facebooking and nonstop blabby social connectedness, I’d still learned that privacy is a virtue, modesty is preferable, and you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry. But I…

By: Kate Fridkis / March 5, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: Thin Women Are Part Of The Body Image Conversation, Too

People like to make things into battles, with two opposing sides. You know, like in the Mommy Wars where breastfeeding is a battle cry and formula feeding is a ferocious counterattack. Oy vey. Sometimes, in the world of conversations about body image, it seems like heavy women get pitted against thin women. There are a…

By: Kate Fridkis / February 21, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: The Buzz Cut Beauty Queen

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, right? Romance and pink things and flowers, too. It’s supposed to be about couples, but I want to selfishly celebrate by acknowledging a woman who made me love myself a little bit more. So often, I think we’re trying to make ourselves appealing and acceptable to other…

By: Kate Fridkis / February 6, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: The Girl I Wanted To Be

She was really beautiful. She was the coolest girl ever. She always knew what to say, and she said it casually, like she barely had to think first. I wanted to be just like her. I was 13, she was 15, and she was perfect to me. My parents were very supportive. They thought I…

By: Kate Fridkis / January 17, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: The Photo Is Lying

I was looking seriously cute. My hair was behaving commendably, my face did not have anything obviously wrong with it, my belt was making my waist look seductive, and my new boots gave me a taller, lither look than I’m accustom to. Even my little boobs were cheerful and holding form in my bra, rather…

By: Kate Fridkis / January 3, 2013

Mirror, Mirror: You ARE Pretty Enough To Find Love

The other day, a girl emailed me: “I’m worried that I’m not pretty enough to get a guy. I’m single, and want a serious relationship, but sometimes I think I can’t find one because I’m not prettier.” I wanted to exclaim, “That’s ridiculous!” But instead I thought, Well, of course you’re worried. When I wa…

By: Kate Fridkis / December 20, 2012

Mirror, Mirror: On Looking Jewish

I liked being Jewish. I just hated my face. I wanted desperately to like my face better. I’d spent too many years laughing with my hand over my nose because I thought it looked even bigger when my face was happy. Stupid, right? It’s amazing, in retrospect, the things we are tormented by. When I…

By: Kate Fridkis / December 6, 2012

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