“I’d work in a flower shop and be insecure. And he’d work in real estate. And there’s always cupcake batter on my face, and I’m like, ‘I just made these cupcakes, but I don’t know how I feel!’ And he’s like, ‘Let me get that cupcake batter off your face … with my dick.’ .. Cut to me giving him a hand job. Sorry, I’ve had too much caffeine.”
– Aubrey Plaza, on her dream rom-com starring herself and Ryan Gosling, who she famously shut down when she met him one day at a juice bar. Whoops, Aubrey! Never make that mistake again. [NYMag.com]
Nicole Richie, what a ride, people. This little lady has gone from fashion atrocity to one of the defining stylish ladies of our generation. Take the incredible look she wore to the Fifi Awards: Doesn’t she look a little Barbra Streisand in “Funny Girl”? We’re totally in love with this Emilio Pucci dress, which is about the only application of the mullet hem we can stand. What do you think?
Look, as the wedding industrial complex has no doubt told us all since we were in the womb, weddings are lady people’s One Very Special Day. So by all means, if you want to blow your wad on a pair of kicks from Ugg’s Bridal Collection, go crazy. But don’t think for one second I am not going to judge the ever living hell out of you. Uggs wants you to walk down the aisle in these crappers — you and your bridesmaids. But if you do, I’m going to assume that you really wanted to be on the show “Bridezilla,” and that you’re probably some kind of half woman-half monster chimera. Just saying. [BrideFinds]
If you’re Beyonce, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do — and that includes crashing one of the most important events on the New York social calendar, the Met Costume Institute Ball. It seems Bey wasn’t planning on going at all, but then that purple Givenchy gown showed up at her house that evening (because gowns are always just showing up at Beyonce’s house, apparently) and poof! She changed her mind. As her date, Andre Leon Talley explained, “Beyonce was not slated to come. She decided to come last minute when the dress arrived at her house. She tried it on and then she said, ‘Okay, I have to come.’ She did arrive at 8:55 and the ball had already started, but it didn’t matter because she is Beyonce.” How true, A.L.T., how true. [Fashionista]
Well, goddamn, some names definitely seem to lead you down certain life paths, don’t they? Having a name like Fokken might have had a tad bit of influence in convincing these two feisty broads — twin sister prostitutes — into getting into the biz. Identical twin sisters Louise and Martine Fokken have worked Amsterdam’s Red Light District for more than 50 years, first under the control of pimps and then as independent contractors, running their own brothel. They also helped set up the first independent union for prostitutes, so they’re kind of amazing, no? We can’t wait to see the full-length doc about their lives, but we’ll settle for this trailer clip for now. [Meet The Fokkens]