John DeVore

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Mind Of Man: Size Doesn’t Matter

If there’s one thing I’ve learned writing these columns, it’s that you ladies have penis on the brain. Which is why I’m going to admit that my penis is so…

John DeVore | April 22, 2009 - 4:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Here’s Why We Don’t Call You Back

Fine, I’ll level with you. After all, we’ve been through so much together. You’re like foreign exchange students to me. Not unlike sisters. But I wouldn’t feel gross if I…

John DeVore | April 15, 2009 - 2:00 pm

Mind Of Man: “Guilty Pleasures” Are For Uptight Chumps

Men don’t have “guilty pleasures.” We own, nay, celebrate what’s bad for us. Our obsessions are points of pride, not shame. You’ll never see a guy wolf down a small…

John DeVore | April 8, 2009 - 4:00 pm

Mind Of Man: We Watch Porn, So What?

It has recently come to my attention that there are ladies out there who think that their man drooling over pornography is tantamount to adultery. If you truly believe this,…

John DeVore | April 2, 2009 - 1:00 pm

Presidential Pornography

Painter Justine Lai’s series of erotic oil paintings depicting the artist banging it out with U.S. Presidents massage two nerdy pleasure centers: history and sex. Are you reading this, History…

John DeVore | March 27, 2009 - 5:30 pm

Mind Of Man: Now Playing — Crappy Love Songs

I just can’t emotionally or physically connect with a woman unless there is some kind of terrible music playing.

When it comes to love and romance, timing is…

John DeVore | March 25, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: How To Date A Loser

An objective, partially superficial analysis of women’s magazines like Glamopolitan has led me to form the following conclusions:

If you don’t learn the 456 sex tips, he will cheat…

John DeVore | March 19, 2009 - 1:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Why Guys Want “Starts With An A, Ends With -Nal” Sex

Finally. I thought I’d answer one of the big questions I’ve been asked over and over again, the question you ladies are dying to know the answer to. Are you…

John DeVore | March 12, 2009 - 1:00 pm

Mind Of Man: He’s Laid Off, You’re Not, So What Now?

The Hobopocalyse continues unabated: the stock market is at its lowest in twelve years, unemployment is at its highest in decades, and nobody knows how bad it’s going to get.

John DeVore | March 5, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Stop Playing The Name Game

Here’s a question: Why was Chris Noth’s character in “Sex In the City” nicknamed “Mr. Big” when it’s clear it should have been “Mr. Old Man Fatty”?

Also, I…

John DeVore | February 25, 2009 - 6:00 pm

Mind Of Man: When It Comes To Love, Chill Out

As I see it, there should be no discussion of a relationship, or exclusivity, within the first three months of dating. Those three months should be a drama and ultimatum-free…

John DeVore | February 19, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Be Better In Bed

I have never met a woman who thought she was bad in bed. I have known plenty of women who can rattle off an impromptu, critical dissertation on the carnal…

John DeVore | February 12, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: 25 Things About Me, John DeVore

1. I think I’m awesome, but seriously, why do you think I’m awesome?

2. I can speak dolphin. Which is how I help them.

3. I don’t have…

John DeVore | February 8, 2009 - 4:00 pm

Mind Of Man: I Am Not A “Sensitive Guy”

A sensitive guy’s emotional availability is decorative, a means by which to exploit a woman’s weakness for men who are not total beer-powered, boxer shorts wearing Guitar Heroes with mommy…

John DeVore | January 28, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: I Might Be A Sexist

I think I might be a sexist. But since most of you are vagina-enabled, I’ll let you tell me. Many of you possess testicles, as well, and I’ll invite you…

John DeVore | January 22, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Revenge Of The Number

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine came to me for advice, and I think the advice I gave him was pretty good advice, if I do say…

John DeVore | January 14, 2009 - 6:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Go Ahead, Have Sex On The First Date

Go ahead and have sex on the first date if you want. If it feels good, do it. Ruin yourself. Get your rocks off. Surrender to chemistry, drink, irresponsibility. Indulge…

John DeVore | January 8, 2009 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Mouth Love Is Meh

Blow jobs are overrated. There. I said it. I know men who would fight a grizzly bear with a spork for a little mouth love. I also know women who…

John DeVore | December 31, 2008 - 5:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Pity The Pick-Up Artist

Some of you might have heard of or read Neil Strauss’ The Game, a fawning book about a silver tongued Casanova who goes by the mysterious code-name Mystery. Probably many…

John DeVore | December 18, 2008 - 3:00 pm

Mind Of Man: Why We Love Strippers

Before I reveal the secret reason men love strip clubs, I’d like to directly address all the “cool” and “open-minded” women out there who insist on accompanying their boyfriends and…

John DeVore | December 3, 2008 - 5:30 pm

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