On last night’s episode of “Broad City” — which you should be watching because it is hilarious — Abby hooked up with her hot, bearded, woodworking, homebrewing neighbor Jeremy, and was somewhat shocked to discover that his idea of “switching it up” entailed pegging him in the ass. This gave me the excuse I needed… READ MORE »
I am addicted to Netflix, which is why I steal money from my sweet, elderly mother. I love her so much. She was always there for me growing up. But I just can’t get enough of Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright in “House Of Cards.” I watched both seasons in one weekend. I missed my… READ MORE »
I can’t go to your holiday because I’m an introvert who has better things to do.
You wouldn’t understand because you’re not an introvert. You’re probably an extrovert, or worse, a warm, emotionally-stable person who can relate to other people.
I’m an introvert. Ask my life coach. He says I’m an… READ MORE »
I love musicals.
Oh, you hate musicals? Really? I’ll get to you and your opinion in a second.
First, I’m making a public confession: I am a white, heterosexual man who loves musicals. I don’t give a shit who knows. You are not your demographic. The people who make up focus… READ MORE »
This week’s Anthony Weiner dick pic scandal — part two! — reminded me of this hilarious column written by our dear Mind of Man, John DeVore. Let’s learn, from an actual man, why dudes like to send pictures of their penises. — Amelia
Men send pictures of their penises because we want the… READ MORE »
The best way to define what is “sexy” is to first define what is not sexy. Duck face? Not sexy. Fake tans? Not sexy. Internet think pieces about how some young woman making millions in the public aquarium isn’t sexy? Not sexy AND IRONIC.
Lena Dunham’s character Hannah in “Girls” is sexy. Apparently… READ MORE »
I think it was Shakespeare who wrote, “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.” Yup. I’m pretty sure he wrote that.
It is hard to say goodbye. I am not a fan of it. I try to avoid actually saying it if I can. But you can’t always avoid it. Which is… READ MORE »
Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about who loves you, but whom you love. It’s the one day out of the year when you should take account of those people in your life who make you gleefully vomit little candy hearts. Being loved back isn’t nearly as important in life as boldly, recklessly, sincerely loving someone regardless… READ MORE »
The breakup was amicable, and mutual in the sense that we were both slightly relieved it was over. Before we parted ways at the bar, she confessed that it bothered her that I always wanted to watch TV after we had sex. I said nothing and just nodded.
Why wouldn’t I want to… READ MORE »
A recent essay about “facials” really got me thinking. Why is it that the act of ejaculating on a woman’s face is called a “facial”? Is semen an astringent? It seems to me that the act could be called something manlier, like “spackling,” or more … inviting? Women love cupcakes. Why not call the sex… READ MORE »
“It’s not ‘talking to yourself’. It’s ‘engaging in a conversation with your needs.'” “Hello internet porn, how are you today?” “Where did I put that Slim Jim??”
“(random laughter for no reason)” “We all die alone.” “Please text me back please text me back.” “I’m out of Captain Crunch. My life sucks.” “I’m Batman.” … READ MORE »