Jessica Goldberg

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Glamorizing Or Objectifying? Women’s B-Ball Stars In Ball Gowns

The stars of Florida State University’s women’s basketball team can now be seen lounging in ball gowns and limousines. The team’s new website has debuted with a series of glamour shots that have, um, something to do with basketball — we think? While some of the team’s tall beauties are embracing basketballs, others seem to…

Jessica Goldberg / November 25, 2009

Donny Osmond Wins “Dancing With The Stars”

Who would you expect to win a dancing competition—the 51-year-old teen idol who drove the ladies crazy in the ’70s, the 30-year-old chantuese behind “Ghetto Superstar,” or the 25-year-old newly svelte rock princess? Well, surprise! Donny Osmond has upset Mya and Kelly Osbourne on “Dancing with the Stars” and earned the right to take home…

Jessica Goldberg / November 25, 2009

Confessions Of The Latest Madam To The Rich And Famous

Meet Michelle Braun, the highest of high-end madams. Also known as Nici of the ultimate call-girl ring, Nici’s Girls, she is facing six months under house arrest. Lucky for her, she also got a book deal, so she should have plenty to do while she’s housebound. She’ll be writing chapters about men who pay $500,000…

Jessica Goldberg / November 24, 2009

Woman Destroys Her Boyfriend’s XBox And Posts The Vid On YouTube

Fueling the legend of the psycho girlfriend, this lovely lady decided that, rather than breaking up with her video game-obsessed boyfriend, the way to make her life better would be to take a golf club to his Xbox, and post the footage on the internet. According to this bored blonde, this video is a…

Jessica Goldberg / November 24, 2009

A Man’s Helter-Skelter Search For His Birth Parents

Here is the best reason ever to not try to find your birth parents. Terry, a Wisconsin woman with a wild past, was contacted recently by Robert Matthews, a DJ in Los Angeles who was adopted and wanted to find his biological parents. Terry was confirmed to have been his mother, and it seems like…

Jessica Goldberg / November 24, 2009

Loose Lips: Kristen Stewart Talks About Why She Doesn’t Want to Talk

The media loves shy, awkward, lippy Kristen Stewart. Yes, we love her! She’s shell-shocked and seemingly reticent, yet she still says the darnedest things. This week on “Conan,” she snapped our attention right back where it belongs—on her—as she overshared: “I think it’s weird that we have underwear with Taylor’s face on it.”…

Jessica Goldberg / November 18, 2009

It’s Hard To Find Love When You Have 300 Orgasms A Day

Michelle Thompson suffers from persistent sexual arousal syndrome, a condition which makes her orgasm about 300 times a day. Sweet, I have to imagine, but it probably gets in the way when she’s trying to shop for groceries, or do her taxes or, as it turns out, when she’s trying to build a relationship. Michelle…

Jessica Goldberg / November 17, 2009

An Ode To “Remote Control”

MTV’s first foray out of music videos came in 1987, when host Ken Ober launched a hysterical hybrid of sketch comedy meets game show called “Remote Control.” For five seasons, in a studio tricked out to look like his mother’s basement, Kenny carried out his lifelong dream of hosting a game show. Contestants sat…

Jessica Goldberg / November 17, 2009

Lucy Liu Turns The Lens On Sex Trafficking In New Doc

Hasn’t it been a while since we saw Lucy Liu do something fabulous? Turns out, it’s because she’s been busy producing and narrating a new documentary called “Red Light.” It’s about human trafficking, which the Department of Justice says is the third most profitable criminal activity in the world. Now that Lucy’s promoting…

Jessica Goldberg / November 12, 2009

Does The Army Like To Create Female Heroes?

Almost a week after the Fort Hood massacre that made police Sgt. Kimberly Munley a hero, the details of the ghastly shootout seem to only be getting more confusing. Kimberly might not actually have shot Nidal Malik Hasan four times while catching one of his bullets herself—the story that was presented the day after the…

Jessica Goldberg / November 12, 2009

Robert Pattinson Admits He’s Not Big On Bathing

For over a year, rumors have swirled that Robert Pattinson is seriously stank. We suspected it might be true based on the greasy hair, but then his “Twilight” co-star Alex Meraz confused us, saying that Robert smells like roses. But now Robert himself has confirmed our worst suspicions. “I don’t know, my personal hygiene—it’s so…

Jessica Goldberg / November 11, 2009

Diapered Astronaut Gets Slap On Wrist In Court

Remember Lisa Nowak, the astronaut turned would-be kidnapper? She stole a car to race to Florida, wearing a diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop since she was in such a hurry to put on a wig and mace her romantic rival, Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman. Well, Lisa just went to court. She originally…

Jessica Goldberg / November 11, 2009

Caught On Tape: A 26-Year-Old Falls On Subway Tracks As A Train Arrives — And Lives!

Now, I’m not judging—who hasn’t been there?—but 26-year-old Sophia Hartdegen sure looked rip-roaring drunk when she fell off the platform and on to the Boston subway tracks on Friday night, just as a train appeared in the distance. Lucky for her, a Transportation Authority employee just happened to be on the platform too and…

Jessica Goldberg / November 11, 2009

Jim Carrey Is Still Annoying, But His Website Is Awesome!

I just spent way too much time surfing around Jim Carrey’s website. Actually, it felt more like swimming than surfing and its bizarreness kind of made me like the man. A centipede curls into itself in the center of a dark screen while the page loads, and before you decide to navigate away, a window…

Jessica Goldberg / November 10, 2009

Mickey Mouse Got A Makeover. But What About Minnie?

You know how our grandparents grew up yelling “Hello, Mickey” back at the TV during cartoon hour? Well, today’s kids seem to view the helium-voiced mascot as more of a logo, or maybe a hat design, than as a lovable character. I guess that didn’t sit well with the higher-ups at Disney, who want their…

Jessica Goldberg / November 5, 2009

Hypnotize Your Way To Bigger Boobs?

In an always appreciated roundup of information I actually need, the folks over at Asylum put together a list of bizarro breast enlargement techniques that don’t require several thousand dollars and a surgeon. The approach given the most credibility is, surprisingly, tit-no-therapy. I mean hypnotherapy. Because I’m not nine years old. Some people really do…

Jessica Goldberg / November 5, 2009

High Glitz Or Child Tragedy?

The coffee table book High Glitz would seriously freak out anyone who sat down on my couch. The collection of images shows beauty queen toddlers posing for the child pageant sub-genre called Glitz. These tots get glamour makeup, front teeth veneers, and couture costumes before being photographed. It speaks from an era I hoped didn’t…

Jessica Goldberg / November 4, 2009

Strippers Who Claim They’ve Slept With The Men Of Hollywood

Have you heard about Nicole Forrester? She’s a dancer at the hilariously named Tattletale club, where she says she began an acquaintance with Josh Duhamel that ended in a one-night stand. Nicole says the National Enquirer told her the story would be published whether she participated or not, and then gave her $20K, presumably a…

Jessica Goldberg / November 4, 2009

Whiskey-Flavored Condoms Make Whiskey Dick Literal

How many times have I complained that my boyfriend’s enthusiasm for my BJ talent has been cutting into my drinking schedule? I lost count. Luckily, my problem could be solved with these new whiskey-flavored condoms from the genius company McCondom. But, you see, I’m picky: Which kind of scotch do these flavored condoms taste like?

Jessica Goldberg / November 4, 2009

What Do Reality TV Stars Make, Anyway?

After the premiere of VH1’s “Sex Rehab,” I found myself thinking one thing: How much did folks get paid to be on this show, cause I certainly hope it’s a whole heck of a lot. Ask and ye shall receive—a day later, I have my answer. Comedian Artie Lange, a former heroin and cocaine addict,…

Jessica Goldberg / November 3, 2009