Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Party Hardy Reese Witherspoon Shakes Her Groove Thing

America, and quite possibly the world, is going to hell in a handbasket — but, hey, Reese Witherspoon went to a fancy party in Capri and it looks like she had fun! What are those moves called, Reese?! I highly recommend watching the entire video at TMZ — she appears to be dancing to a klezmer version of “I Will Survive” — as it is highly entertaining.  [TMZ via Gawker]

Kittens Reenact “Fifty Shades Of Grey”

50 shades of grey kittens
"Mr. Grey Will See You Meow"

The cinematic masterpiece that is sure to be “Fifty Shades Of Grey” is still a long way off (February 2015) but you can get your kinky sex fix now with … wait for it, kittens. Yes, the erotic love affair of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey is reenacted by teeny-weeny beh beh kittehs (and their cat toys). Whoever wrote the puns in one deserves the cat video equivalent of an Oscar.

Morning Quickies: North West Is Already Modeling Chanel

North West CR Fashion Book

  • Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s one-year-old daughter North West made her “modeling debut” in ex-French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld’s new fashion mag CR Fashion Book, clad in a Chanel sweater and purse. [Daily Mail UK]
  • “Today” show anchor Savannah Guthrie gave birth yesterday to her first child, a baby girl named Vale. Mazel tov! [US Weekly]
  • Kendall Jenner denied that she refused to tip at a New York City restaurant and then threw $20 at a waitress, tweeting “I was raised better than that.” [US Weekly] Keep reading »

Delaware School Board Nukes Summer Reading Program Rather Than Let Kids Read Book About Gay Teen

todays lady news
  • What horrors could await the precious ninth-grade snowflakes of the Cape Henlopen School District in Delaware after they read The Miseducation Of Cameron Post, a YA novel about a gay teen? Concerned parents were not about to find out! Back in June, the board had removed Cameron Post from the list. After some negative attention and accusations of bigotry, they appear to have just eliminated the entire reading list. Citing profanity in some of the books — which included modern classics like The Fault In Our Stars by John Green and Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell, both of which I have read and which are TOTALLY appropriate for 9th graders — the board is just not going to have 9th graders do summer reading. Sigh. These parents know that 14-year-olds (and their friends) use the Internet, right? And that there’s gay stuff all over it?! Oh well, at least with no summer reading list anymore, kids have more time to spend online! [Delaware Online, Cape GazetteBoing Boing]
  • Maryam Mirzakhani, a professor at Stanford, is the first-ever woman to win the Fields Medal, the highest prize in mathematics. [Guardian UK] Keep reading »

It’s A Shame That Some Obituaries Focus On Lauren Bacall’s Beauty & Love Life Over Her Talent

lauren bacall 081314

Two Hollywood legends passed this week — Robin Williams, 63, on Monday morning, and Lauren Bacall, 89, on Tuesday night. They died in extremely different ways, but both were household names who’d been in numerous iconic films. These two deaths are being handled very differently — Bacall’s obituaries and remembrances are far more focused on her sex appeal than her career.

It’s understandable to mention an iconic actress’ beauty in an obituary, especially one who was discovered while working as a fashion model. I’m not suggesting that Lauren Bacall’s great beauty should be off-limits entirely. And to a certain extent, the emphasis on Bacall’s old Hollywood glamour is also understandable — her scandalous romance with Humphrey Bogart is far more interesting to most people, I’m sure, than Robin Williams’ three marriages. Yet the way some of her obits have been written make it seem as though Bacall was more famous for her looks and her husbands than for her over-half-a-century-long career in which she appeared in some of Hollywood’s biggest films, like “The Big Sleep,” “How To Marry A Millionaire,” and “Misery.” Writes blogger Tracy McVeigh in the UK’s Guardian, “It’s often the case with beautiful women that their achievements can be undone by people transfixed by their smouldering celluloid gaze.”

Keep reading »

British Man Died Because He Was Too Embarrassed To Get A Dildo Removed From His Butt

surprised doctor 081314

Public Service Announcement: if you accidentally lodge a sex toy in one of your orifices, GO TO THE DOCTOR. A 50-year-old London man died this past December from septic shock after he waited five long days to remove a dildo he’d lodged into his rectum.  Nigel Willis was too embarrassed to go see a doctor, though he was “dizzy, weak and unable to move,” according to ITV News, A friend finally forced him to see someone, but by that point, the dildo had pierced his bowels, leading to the septic shock. How horrible! I wish Nigel knew that a lot of people worry about losing stuff up there — tampons, condoms, even sex toys —  and doctors have seen everrrrrything. Literally, everything. So, please don’t leave things sitting up there (wherever “up there” might be, I don’t judge!). Avoiding five minutes of embarrassment is not worth your life. Plus, you’ll have a really great story for your next round of “Two Truths And A Lie.” [New York Daily NewsITV News] [Image of a doctor via Shutterstock]

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