Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Profile for Jessica Wakeman
Boobs and babies don’t mix … their boobs, that is. I’ve seen enough pasties for kids and stripper poles for toddlers to get stabby about anything that sexualizes an impressionable kiddo. So I’m not too keen on the breast cancer awareness tees for little girls that say “Find A Cure! Before I Grow Boobies.” Clever T-shirt, yes. But as the aunt of three pre-school aged girls, I feel weird about anything that could draw a creepy person’s attention to their non-existent “boobies.” (FWIW, I’d balk if my nephew had a tee shirt that said “Testicular Cancer: Find A Cure Before My Balls Drop!” too.) A pink ribbon or something would be just fine to raise awareness, thanks. What do you think: Are these T-shirts kinda icky or are they cute? [Zazzle.com] Keep reading »
Any lass who’s dipped her toes into the online dating waters knows after two days all the messages (and the dudes who wrote them) blur together. Newsflash: saying “Hey, I love ‘The Office’ too!’ doesn’t woo the ladies, guys.
Do books with titles like How To Be Like Audrey Hepburn! or Live Like Marilyn Monroe! make you wanna ralph? Yeah, me, too. I’m never going to be like Audrey Hepburn, either. Janet Street-Porter is the advice guru for me and you. She’s a sixty-something, unmarried, world-traveled, and self-made British journalist who has penned an anti-advice advice book full of wisdom like “Life’s too f***ing short to spend $200 on face cream” or “Life’s too f***ing short to try to be a size zero.” Street-Porter says quick fixes like fad diets, wrinkle cream and spa vacations never deliver what they promise. Instead she encourages something akin to radical self-acceptance. Full of cussing and unconventional wisdom, Life’s Too F***ing Short is a less gentle advice book than the norm, to be sure. But I’ll take an older, wiser aunt with a dirty mouth over an unoriginal, Audrey Hepburn wannabe any day. [$10.85, Amazon.com] Keep reading »
So I hope I didn’t come off too much like a nerdy fangirl when I called her up to talk about her new movie, “Jennifer’s Body,” a horror flick which stars Megan Fox as a possessed high school girl who eats her male classmates. The Divine Miss Diablo was everything I hoped for and more—hey, the coolest girl in Hollywood even apologized for her “verbal diarrhea” when she interrupted me once.
Click through for my convo with Diablo Cody about why she thinks Megan Fox is “eccentric,” how she wants to host a show like “The View” with Courtney Love, and why therapy (plus, a ban on reading blogs) has made Hollywood bearable for her. Oh! And why the kiss in “Jennifer’s Body” between Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried was never meant to be “gratuitous.” Keep reading »
- A Shot At Love‘s Tila Tequila says Shawne Merriman, linebacker for the San Diego Chargers, allegedly choked and restrained her while she tried to leave his house. After Tequila called 911, Merriman went to jail while she went to the hospital. Merriman’s rep told TMZ Ms. Tequila allegedly drank a few too many and he was trying to keep her from driving; she Tweeted that she’s allergic to alcohol so that’s b.s. [Dlisted, RadarOnline]—Celeb domestic violence: not hot.
- Lubna Al-Hussein, the Sudanese journalist who worked for the United Nations and faced 40 lashes for wearing pants in public, has been spared the whipping and received a fine of $209 instead. Her lawyer said she will continue to challenge Sudan’s “decency law” and not pay the fine. [CNN]
- Last week, the FDA approved a second morning-after pill called Next Choice for over-the-counter use. Like Plan B, the existing emergency contraception on the market, Next Choice can prevent pregnancy if taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. [AP, Examiner.com]
- Do you think this ad for the TV show “Nip/Tuck” sexualizes sweatshops? One blog objects to the way rows of sexily dressed Asian women are shown sewing up a woman’s body (the show is about plastic surgeons). [Angry Asian Man via Feministing]
- Patricia Mauceri, an actress on “One Life To Live,” says she was fired from the soap opera after she objected to a gay-friendly storyline. Mauceri’s character, Carlotta Vega, was supposed to confront homosexuality somehow in an upcoming plot. Mauceri alleges that as a devout Christian, she objected to the plotline. Allegedly, “One Life To Live” wasn’t having any of that, so Mauceri was fired and quickly replaced. [Fox News]—Please, no one introduce her to Carrie Prejean.
And then, the icing on the cake, bitch goes and gets a movie deal starring Julia Roberts! No wonder Eat, Pray, Love drives some of us bonkers. Keep reading »
Sure, I had a tie dye kit … when I was 11. But American Apparel‘s come up with the idea to sell bottles of dye for $4 so crafty daredevils can artfully stain their own tights, men’s briefs and zip hoodies. Tanks, harem pants, and tube bras which have already been tie dyed are a safer bet if you’re worried about turning your fingers swirly purple, blue and green. Hmm, will hip hippies hop on the love bus? Somehow, I don’t see this one happening as a trend for fall. Maybe a pride of hipsters who all look like they wandered home from a Phish concert will prove me wrong. [American Apparel Tie Dye] Keep reading »
- Yale students are sending an email around to each other rating how many beers it would take them to screw dozens of female members of the freshman class of 2013. Girls get ranked by things like “sobriety,” “five beers” or “ten beers.” [NBC]—The children are our future, everybody!
- A lawsuit’s a-brewin’ in California over a mandatory 45-minute lesson for kindergarten through fifth-graders which teaches students about diversity, LGBT families and the harmfulness of teasing. Some parents of kids in the Alameda Unified School District are very considered about this “indoctrination.” [Fox News]—”Indoctrination” was their word, not mine.
- Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of Japan’s incoming prime minister, Yukio Hatoyama, said in a book called The Most Bizarre Things I’ve Encountered, that her spirit was abducted by a UFO and flown to Venus. [Fox News]
Luckily, our fab stylin’s brought some levity to a long, hard week, what with DJ AM passing away too soon and 29-year-old Jaycee Dugard discovered living with Phil Garrido, a total whackjob, 18 years after she was abducted. Keep reading »