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Nerd Girl Porn: Hot Greasy Guys

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One of the finer points of male attractiveness to women is the difference between greasy and slimy. A slimy guy is up to no good, sneaky as a pickpocket, nefarious as Iago, someone like Joe Francis or Spencer Pratt (who should not be allowed to procreate).

But a greasy guy is another story. Greasy guys are actually sweethearts—you just want to dunk them in a scalding bath before taking them into your arms. Take, for instance, Justin Timberlake. JT told Allure, “My secret for my hair is that I don’t wash it. I shampoo it once every ten days or so. It’s more manageable with the natural oil.” Ten days? Oh, my.

Click through to see more hot-but-greasy guys we’d love to lather up … and yes, there’s a Jonas brother.

Abortion: Is It The Last Taboo Of Comedy?

I know what you’re thinking: there’s nothing funny about about abortion! Mostly, I agree with you. Politicians who make decisions about what women can do with their bodies and wackjobs who try to kill abortion providers are scary.

A very not safe for work clip of Chris Rock on abortion, and further unpacking the notion that there is something funny about abortion, after the jump:

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The Frizzy Hair/Nice Nails Trade-Off

Humidity makes your hair look like ass, but British researchers have discovered Mother Nature’s awful mugginess is actually optimal for growing nails that don’t split! Air with 55 percent humidity keeps our nails pliable; unfortunately, excessive amounts of hot water from bathing or hand-washing soften nails too much. A researcher at Manchester University advised, “It’s best not to get nails completely dry or completely wet.”

Sorry, we can’t avoid hand-washing with hot water! But luckily we’ve found The Body Shop’s Almond Oil Nail & Cuticle Treatment ($12) helps lock in moisture and keeps our manicures cute. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Stalk Your Ex-Girlfriend? There’s An App For That!

“What’s great about the iPhone is if you want to know where your ex-girlfriend is at any moment, there’s an app for that!” Check her personal calendar, pester her with “automatic late night calls” every 15 minutes, and “if you need an attorney with a proven record for fighting restraining orders, there’s an app for that!”

It’s clever, but it’s hard to giggle about psychos with restraining orders. What do you think: funny iPhone spoof or stalker-y awkward humor? Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Saudi Child Bride Forced To Return To Her 80-Year-Old Husband

  • A 10-year-old Saudi Arabian girl has been returned to her 80-year-old husband after hiding at her aunt’s home for 10 days. The marriage is allowed by Sharia law, which the husband has accused the girl’s aunt of violating by allowing the girl to hide from him. [Fox News] — Sheesh. And some people are worried about the age difference between Candace Bushnell and her husband?
  • PETA is taking down their crap billboard depicting a large woman, which says “Save The Whales! Lose the Blubber: Go Vegetarian.” [Jezebel]
  • U.K. health officials warn that some moms have given birth in hospital hallways, bathrooms and elevators due to maternity unit overcrowding. Maternity beds have been cut by almost 25 percent since 1997. [Sky News] — No wonder this woman had her baby on the pavement outside a British hospital.
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    Barbie Makeup We Actually Want To Wear

    “Barbie” and “makeup” aren’t words grown women use in the same sentence, but I’ll start by gushing over these cute Barbie Loves Stila eye makeup pots. The shimmery colors—Little Black Dress (a sexy charcoal), Cobalt Clutch (a bright royal blue) and Purple Pumps (violet like an orchid)—look just like grown-up versions of the ones found on Barbie’s eyes. And $20 seems like a bargain for Stila eye makeup that can be worn brightly, as an attention-grabbing liner or sexily as a muted eyeshadow. [Stila] Keep reading »

    Film Version Of Tucker Max’s “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” Does Not Thrill College Women’s Center

    You’ve probably heard of Tucker Max, blogger and author of the memoir I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, who regaled the bestseller list with stories of sex with many, many women and excessive drinking. (The charming cover illustration is of a man holding a beer bottle and pointing to a blonde chick, whose face is cut out with the words “Your Face Here” written instead. Because we’re all inter-changeable, you see.) Max is that particularly awful brand of d-bag who is proud of critics who call him morally depraved and immature; in fact, his book is blurbed with hateful things people have said about him.

    So, of course, Hollywood gave this fellow a movie deal! The film version of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” which focuses on strip club/bachelor party shenanigans, debuts on September 25 and North Carolina State University planned an advanced screening today, followed by a Q&A session with Max.

    But then the campus Women’s Center caught wind of the flick, which it said is sexist and encourages behavior leading to sexual assault. Surely you’re wondering, what’s so bad with this film? Keep reading »

    It’s Not Cheating If…

    #Itsnotcheating is a trending topic that’s been all the rage on Twitter. The glimpse into the human psyche’s thoughts on infidelity that it provides is terrifying! As in “It’s not cheating if it happens in Cancun!” terrifying.

    After the jump, check out Twitter’s list of mucho slippery ways to cheat that some peeps shockingly think are a-OK. We’re hoping some of these are jokes! Keep reading »

    Did A LEGO Giraffe Lose His Penis? Or Was It His Tail?

    Poor baby! An 18-foot tall giraffe made out of LEGOs in Berlin’s LEGOland Discovery Center keeps getting his tail stolen! A spokesperson for the LEGO center said every time a visitor ganks the giraffe tail, which is made of 15,000 LEGOs, it costs $4,300 to replace. Heartless hoodlums have stolen the animal’s tail four times already. The weirdest part of this whole story, though, is that in Australia, news outlets reported that the giraffe’s penis was stolen, not its tail. (Slow news day Down Under, eh?) See, a stolen giraffe penis would be damn funny. If we have any Frisky readers in Germany, we’re anxiously awaiting clarification on this matter! [Yahoo] Keep reading »

    Chris Brown Sentenced For Rihanna Assault & New Details Emerge About Violence

    Sigh. The Feb. 8th incident when Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna was not the first violent argument between the couple. Before his sentencing yesterday, Brown’s probation officer filed a report revealing the couple was involved in two other incidents “related to domestic violence“—and come to find out, Rihanna has slapped Brown in the past. Obviously that does not make the intensity of his brutal Feb. 8 assault excusable, but it sheds light on how they had a more violent relationship than we previously thought. Keep reading »

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