When my high school boyfriend cheated on me, I found out the other girl’s Instant Messenger screen name and “confronted” her online. (Not the most mature move, I know. But give me a break! I had just turned 17.) You know what this bitch had the audacity to say to me? “I’ve seen a picture of you! No wonder he cheated.” Owww.
Sadly, that dopey logic is not confined to teenage soccer players who give hickeys to other girls’ boyfriends; it has cycled over and over and over in my mind as this alleged Tiger Woods affair has played out. Surely you, like me, have heard numerous friends or significant others say something to the effect of, “How could he have cheated on his wife? She’s so gorgeous!” Yes, Elin Nordegren is a freaking blonde-haired Swedish former model and her turd husband allegedly still cheated on her. What I want to know is why we insist a woman’s beauty—which is highly subjective!—is some kind of barometer—which is highly shallow!—of whether or not her hubby will cheat. Keep reading »
Ben Hill County Jail in Georgia will be undergoing some pretty severe interior decoration soon. So, why do we care? The whole jail will be painted Pepto-Bismol pink on the inside and re-refurbished in the girly hue: pink walls, pink shower curtains, pink bed sheets, pink blankets, even pink handcuffs. I wonder how much that is costing taxpayers.
But why a loud Pepto-Bismol pink, of all colors? Are they trying to torture these prisoners? No, they’re trying to shame them. Because, you know, pink is a feminine color. There is no punishment worse than making a man be the slightest bit feminine, apparently. Keep reading »
Apparently unaware that women of all ages have always enjoyed robust sex lives, The New York Observer introduces us to “cheetahs.” What’s a cheetah, you ask? They are 30-something single women — the younger nieces of the 40-something-and-up “cougars” — who are so desperate for sex and affection that they’ll prowl the bars, waiting to prey on unsuspecting victims. In fact, cheetahs will basically rape men, they’re so overcome by singledom lust!
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Someone should tell the craftsman who whittled the lil’ pole dancer on these 7″ wedges that stripper heels are usually made of clear plastic. But, hey, whatevs. The $175 price tag on eBay is a steal for such an, um, unique item. (Although we’re pretty sure falling off 7″ tall shoes will break your neck.) [Trend de la Creme] Keep reading »
Uh oh. It just became an even worse week to be named “Tiger Woods.” A 24-year-old L.A. cocktail waitress named Jaimee Grubbs, who appeared on trashy VH1 dating show “Tool Academy,” claims she has also boinked the very married golf pro. According to a story on UsMagazine.com, Grubbs claims she and Woods had a two-and-a-half year-long relationship and engaged in 20 sexual encounters. Grubbs also claims to possess 300 text messages from Woods and a condemning voicemail in which Woods says his wife, Elin Nordegren, has discovered their affair. Eeek! But once again: take these rumors with a grain of salt, innocent until proven guilty, fame-hungry bitches, etc., etc. Still, we’ve got to say, it would seem that between Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel, the woman whom The National Enquirer accused of being “the other woman,” Tiger has a thing for party girls, doesn’t he? [UsMagazine.com] Keep reading »
For those of you who like to play police officer/naughty girl in the shower, nothing says amore like neoprene, Velcro, and suction cups! OK, I don’t actually want to have sex in my shower because it’s got all kinds of nasty black fungus rapidly multiplying on the shower liner. But with a few squirts of Scrubbing Bubbles, I would totally get cuffed into these $20 sex-in-the-shower handcuffs faster than you can say “soap scum.” These fun sex toys look loads less slippery than holding on to the shampoo caddy for dear life. Free sample, please? It’s for, um, a friend. [SexToyFun.com] Keep reading »