Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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“Sorry, Ma’am, You Can’t Wear That Princess Dress Here,” Says Disneyland Paris

Scene:
A beautiful spring day in Disneyland Paris

Characters:
Natasha Narula, age 36, who is wearing an old wedding dress with a tiara
Drew, age 8, who is wearing a little girl’s princess dress
“Jacques,” a Disneyland Paris security guard who seems like kind of a jerk

Jacques The Security Guard: Madame? Pardon, madame? You cannot wear that princess dress here. Keep reading »

“Pretty Wild,” Pretty Stupid: Alexis Neiers Flees For the Border


On this week’s episode of “Pretty Wild,” our girl Alexis Neirs has been invited to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico to do a charity event for Haiti. But seeing as Alexis is embroiled in legal trouble for her alleged participation in the Hollywood “bling ring” — a group of L.A. teens who police say robbed the homes of celebrities — she wants to check with her lawyer first. This clip makes it seem like if Alexis just whines enough, her lawyer will “let” her go! But at least he hilariously warns Alexis that “bounty hunters” will track her down if she tries to flee justice a lá rape-y old Roman Polanski (although she’d have her E! reality crew in tow, natch). [E! Online] Keep reading »

Whee! Gabourey Sidibe Is Hosting “SNL” This Weekend!

Judging by these promos, Gabourey Sidibe‘s hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live” is going to involve a lot of guns and Andy Samberg with his pants off. (But hopefully not so much high-pitched screaming.) But you know what this means, guys? There’ll actually be a black woman on “SNL” — not just Kenan Thompson in lipstick and a wig. Keep reading »

What’s So Funny About Gwyneth Paltrow Getting Punched In The Face?

I have a sense of humor. I really do. I even defended evil, bad, un-feminist Tina Fey when she hosted “Saturday Night Live” recently. But, sorry Onion News Network, I don’t crack a smile at this fake news clip, “Iron Man 2 Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face.” What, exactly, is funny about the idea of Gwyneth Paltrow getting punched in the face? Keep reading »

Frisky Q & A: Melissa Febos, Ex-Dominatrix And Author Of “Whip Smart: A Memoir”

A dominatrix: all of us know what one is. But let’s be honest: few of us actually know a woman who earns her living as one (that we’re aware of, anyway). But you’ll become, ahem, intimately familiar with one after reading the recently published book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos.

Febos, who nowadays teaches writing and literature at SUNY Purchase College in New York, was just a college student looking to earn extra cash at a Manhattan dungeon. But surprisingly, something about domme-ing men for money appealed to her. Febos — who was also busy acquiring, and then kicking, a heroin addiction — spat, spanked and insulted her way through clients for a whole four years before she left the dominatrix life for good.

I spoke with Febos about what initially drew her to sex work, how she broke the news to mom and dad that she was a dominatrix (yes, they knew!), and what she did with all those kinky clothes when she finally hung up her whip. Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Breastfeeding Billboard Pisses Off Peeps In Ohio

  • For some reason, people in Ohio are offended by a billboard that says “Breast Milk Satisfies” and shows a cute baby with milk — you know, breast milk! — dribbling out of his mouth. [Cleveland Leader]
  • Another day, another sketchy “plastic surgery” incident: cops in Venezuela arrested two beauticians who pretended to be doctors and gave women boob jobs and butt implants out of an apartment in Maracay. [Fox News]
  • A 22-year-old college student has filed a civil lawsuit against Indianapolis Colts defensive tackle Eric Foster, accusing him of sexual assault, false imprisonment, and other charges. The student, who is a hotel receptionist, claims Foster assaulted her when she delivered dental products to his room. [AP]

Keep reading »

Quotable: Sarah Silverman’s Choice Words For The “Real Housewives” Ladies

“My boyfriend and I will watch ‘The Bachelor’ [and] ‘The Real Housewives of New York,’ and we laugh at it, or whatever, but it just horrifies me to think there might be young impressionable girls who think this is what being a woman is, being a rich conniving backstabbing c**t or someone who is flattered to be one of 25 girls some guy gets to pick from.”

Sarah Silverman, whose memoir, The Bedwetter, comes out today [The Daily Beast] Keep reading »

“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” … The Movie?

If you had a vagina in the early ’90s, chances are you read the bestselling relationship book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, by John Gray. The book tried to explain the male gender and their supposed inability to talk about emotions based on the concept that men and women are so, so different that we may as well be from from completely different planets! More than a few people — men and women — found this characterization reductive and offensive. But Men Are From Mars went on to sell 50 million copies worldwide, so who really cares, right? Keep reading »

Cookie Cutters Aren’t Meant For Beauty

We love this poster — so simple yet so true! It’s one of the winners of the annual Love Your Body Day poster contest by the National Organization for Women. Would you believe the girl who made it, Shannon Wu, of Orange Village, Ohio, is still in high school?! You can check out the contest’s other winners here. [Love Your Body at NOW] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Even Women With “Normal” Weight Are Worried About Getting “Fat”

  • Even women of “normal” weight with no history of eating disorders have a fear of getting fat, according to a study to be published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences in May. Said Professor Diane Spangler, who worked on the brain scan study, “Many women learn that bodily appearance and thinness constitute what is important about them, and their brain responding reflects that.” Uh, no duh, guys, I could have told you that! [UPI]
  • The good news? Fifteen FORTUNE 500 companies are run by women. The bad news? Fifteen FORTUNE 500 companies are run by women. Yahoo, Xerox, PepsiCo, Kraft Foods, Avon, and Western Union — we salute you. [Money.CNN.com]
  • Writing about how Pittsburgh Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger has escaped indictment for a rape accusation (on account of lack of evidence), garden columnist (garden columnist?) Susan Reimer of the Baltimore Sun goes on a victim-blaming-palooza. Reimer seems to believe the 20-year-old accuser actually was raped by Roethlisberger, but, well, she was kind of asking for it because she was so drunk. Reimer writes, and I quote: “Girlfriend, if you get that drunk you bear some responsibility for what happens next, whether you get your purse stolen or you get roughed up in a dingy bar bathroom. And police reports suggest that the accuser was nearly incapacitated.” [Baltimore Sun]

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