Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Britney’s In Between Somebody’s Legs For New Candie’s Ad

When all else fails, Britney Spears falls back on her tried-and-true “Is it sexy or is it pervy?” little girl routine. Let’s just pray the poor teddy bear in this Candie’s ad isn’t one of Sean Preston or Jayden James‘ favorite toys. Keep reading »

Cookie Monster In High Heels Is All Kinds Of Wrong

Who knew that underneath his crumb-flecked blue fur, Cookie Monster wore over-the-knee tights and foxy white kitten heels? Hey, look on the bright side: these Sesame Street Halloween costumes aren’t as seXXXy as they could have been! [CostumeCraze.com] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Teen Girl Drivers Admit To Speeding More Than Boys

  • Teenage boys have generally had worse driving records, and car insurance rates across the country have reflected as much. But a recent study of teen drivers by the Allstate Foundation found that 27 percent of teen girls admit to driving over 10 miles over the speed limit, compared with only 19 percent of boys. Hmm, I think some of those teen boys are lying! An Allstate spokesman, who apparently agrees with me, added, “Experience still shows female drivers are safer than boys at this age.” [Chicago Tribune]
  • Judge Sylvia Pressler, whose 1973 ruling opened up Little League baseball to girls who wanted to play, passed away Feb. 15 at age 75. Ruling on a 12-year-old New Jersey girl who wanted to play ball, Pressler wrote in her opinion: “The institution of Little League is as American as the hot dog and apple pie. There is no reason why that part of Americana should be withheld from girls.” One year later, the Little League amended its charter to allow girls. [AP]
  • Riot grrrl pioneer Kathleen Hanna, formerly of the bands Le Tigre and Bikini Kill, will be donating her papers to the newly created Riot Grrrl Archive at New York University’s library. [Feministing]

Keep reading »

What You Can Learn From 7 Types Of Bitches

Ever heard the saying “Well-behaved women rarely make history”? No? Well, maybe you’re more familiar with this 2008 Tina Fey-ism: “Bitches get stuff done!” Fey was talking about Hillary Clinton, of course, but all of us bitches out there clutched our hearts in gratitude. Uber-competent, competitive, no-time-for-BS ball busters — bitches, for lack of a better word — are truly an under-appreciated segment of the population. Bitches aren’t necessarily bitter people, but they’re driven by a certain amount of frustration because they look around at the mess in the world and know they could do it better. So, in the spirit of Maxim‘s “What You Can Learn From Seven Types of A**holes,” let’s see what we can learn from the School of Bitch, shall we? Keep reading »

Kevin Smith Kicked Off Southwest Flight Over His Weight, Makes A Scene On Twitter

Kevin Smith photo

You’re too fat to fly! That’s what Southwest Airlines apparently told director Kevin Smith when they booted him off his plane to Burbank, according to his pissed-off tweets on Saturday night. Smith’s heavyset frame was apparently so large that the person sitting next to him couldn’t move the armrest down. Silent Bob tweeted that “Captain Leysath” deemed him a “flight risk” because his size would make it difficult for other passengers to get past him in case of an emergency, so a flight attendant named “Suzanne” forced him off the plane and gave him a $100 voucher for another flight.

But, Smith warned on Twitter, “you f**ked with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater!” Keep reading »

Quotable: Does Tina Fey Wear Her Playboy Bunny Necklace Ironically?

“To talk about the impact of fashion is really interesting. I think so much of it is tied into feminism. I am a post-baby boomer who has been handed a sort of Spice Girls‘ version of feminism. We’re supposed to be wearing half-shirts and jumping around. And, you know, maybe that’s not panning out. But you can tell different generations of women by whether or not they wear that Hillary Clinton blue power suit or the reappropriated Playboy-symbol necklace worn ironically. I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.”

Tina Fey gets all Women’s Studies-y talking about clothes [Vogue] Keep reading »

Behold The Sexual Innuendo In SJP’s “Sesame Street” Spot

If you’re as immature as we are, Sarah Jessica Parker‘s recent spot for “Sesame Street” about the concept of “big” will send you into a fit of giggles.

Oh, poor Grover. If you only knew what we were thinking when you shout, “You must want the biggest thing I can find!” Oh yeah she does, the little minx. [YouTube] Keep reading »

Quotable: That Courtney Love, She’s So Succinct!

“I married a guy, he killed himself, I inherited everything. That’s the way it goes.”

Courtney Love in Spin magazine [Contact Music] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Military To Discharge Single Mom Who Refused Deployment

  • The Army has decided to discharge Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, a single mother who refused to deploy to Afghanistan because she could not find care for her 1-year-old son. The 21-year-old Army cook was arrested in November and faced a court marshal. However, a general at Fort Stewart in California granted Hutchinson an administrative discharge, which means she will be demoted in ranking and lose her benefits. [Yahoo]
  • Saudi Arabia‘s religious police, the muttawa, are cracking down on Valentine’s Day, patrolling stores for any signs of banned roses, chocolates, cards and stuffed animals. According to The Times of London dating in the Western sense, including the public amorous gestures that occur on Valentine’s Day, is simply not acceptable. [The Times Online]
  • Kate Winslet has been tapped to star in an HBO miniseries based on the 1945 film “Mildred Pierce.” Joan Crawford won a Best Actress award for the movie, which is about a woman abandoned by her husband who becomes financially independent and successful, yet is still hated by her bratty daughter. [Variety]

Keep reading »

Barbie’s New Career Is … Computer Engineering!

She’s been a doctor, she’s been a punk rocker, hell, she’s even moonlit as JK Rowling from the “Harry Potter” series. But Barbie‘s 2010 career will be of the geekier persuasion: computer engineer. Tech star Barbie comes with a laptop and glasses — both, of course, pink — and a pretty sweet Bluetooth headset.

If only she could suddenly come alive when your dang printer’s not working. [Barbie Media] Keep reading »

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