Creeeeeepy. The online dating site OKCupid just sent an email informing me in the subject line, “we have data on your attractiveness.” Data? Really? So, of course I clicked on it and their email told me that based on a three-year-old photo (many pounds and a haircut ago) of me that I used on my profile, I’ve been deemed attractive enough to be recommended to date other attractive people on the site. This is apparently an “elite status” and an “important privilege.”
Funny, because this photo never got me laid, not even once. Keep reading »
Meeting the parents — you meet his, he meets yours — is always a big milestone in a relationship. But what is less discussed but equally as stressful is when both of your parents meet each other. At some point when things have gotten mucho serious they kind of have to meet, right?
My mother is really into etiquette books and she claims parents should meet each other once there’s an engagement. But I know that’s not true — in fact, my parents have met the parents of a couple of my ex-boyfriends!
Family is hugely important to me and it seems weird that my boyfriend and I spend almost every weekend with one of our families, but they’ve never met each other. Still, I can’t complain. In fact, I’m kind of stressing the big “Meet The Fockers” moment: My mom and dad have zilch in common with my ex-boyfriends’ parents. Keep reading »
OK, makers of “Bonetown,” you win: we will draw more attention to your racist, sexist, morally depraved video game by writing about it.
“Bonetown” touts itself as “the world’s first action adventure porno video game,” but it’s more like thoughts from the internet’s most ignorant trolls set to animation. You know, the trolls who think racism and sexism have been “solved” so it’s really hilarious to perpetuate stereotypes about minorities and women. It’s unclear what the game part of “Bonetown” actually is, which is actually why it’s scary. Rather than a game, “Bonetown” appears to be more like SecondLife for players who delight in glorifying such ignorance as funny. Keep reading »
There I was, minding my own business on Monday night, when I noticed “Jenny Humphrey” from “Gossip Girl” became a trending topic on Twitter, i.e., something everyone is tweeting about. Jenny Humphrey, of course, is the precocious 16-year-old budding fashion designer from Brooklyn, played by Taylor Momsen. With her older brother, Dan, young Jenny attends a fancy Upper East Side prep school; she just wants to be accepted by the rich kids, who dismiss her as a social climber. I clicked on the trending topic and saw hundreds of tweets saying things like, “Jenny Humphrey is a ho!” and “I hate Jenny Humphrey, she’s such a skank!”
Clearly, this involved further investigation. Keep reading »
I shouldn’t even have gone to prom with Bryan. Just a couple of weeks prior he had made out with another girl and told me the purple marks on his neck came from soccer. Like the lovefool that I was, I believed him — until his best friend tattled on him over Instant Messenger. Oh, the acute heartbreak of a first love: I scribbled Ben Harper lyrics — “please bleed so I know that you are real, so I know that you can feel the damage you have done” — on my bedroom wall and devoted pages and pages to this fresh wound in my journal.
Still, I wanted to go on as if none of this had happened. I had just delivered a bouquet of roses to his class on Valentine’s Day. I had just lost my virginity on his bedroom floor while listening to Dave Matthews Band. I had just tanked my grades in Algebra II ditching class with him. What’s more, his mother actually baked casseroles for dinner and grounded him when he flunked AP calculus tests! That is to say they were so blissfully, utterly normal. Given the drinking, prescription drug use and daily acts of familial terrorism at my house, I clung to my first real, serious boyfriend like a life raft. Keep reading »
Regardless of your opinion on immigration, we can all agree it’s a disappointment when finances prevent an intelligent person from obtaining an education. And 17-year-old Gladys Castro of Fontana, California, is intelligent: the senior has a 4.09 average at Kaiser High School, where she took Advanced Placement classes, led the Advanced Biology Club and was a member of the National Honor Society.
But Gladys is an illegal immigrant whose family left Jalisco, Mexico, when she was 8 years old, after two of her relatives were kidnapped and murdered. She will graduate from high school soon and has been accepted to U.C. Berkeley, where she hopes to study political science. Due to her illegal status, however, Gladys cannot apply for government student loans. Keep reading »