Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Are All Your Friends Lying To You? Lori Gottlieb, Fairy Godmother Of Rudeness, Thinks So

We all have friends who act stupid. The one who’s sleeping with her unemployed alcoholic ex again. The one who continues to pick up her mother’s phone calls even though they always end in tears. The one who works for corporate America and still posts nip-slip pics of herself on Facebook. We, the friends, usually stand by as these inanities occur, lying in wait with a shoulder to cry on. That is the role of a friend, right? We’re here for you after the fact.

But in a piece for July’s issue of Marie Claire, author Lori Gottlieb argues we are the ones making bad decisions by not being blunt with our friends. (You’re crazy if you’re still seeing that jerk! Your mother is messing around with your head! You’re going to lose your job if you don’t exercise a little more discretion!) As female friends, Gottlieb writes, we “yes” our pals “into false presumptions and bad decisions … convincing one another that anyone who disagrees with us is wrong.” Keep reading »

A Diamond-Encrusted 22-Carat Gold iPad Case For The Nerd Who Has Everything

This is the $190,000 Platinum iPad Supreme Edition designed by a British jeweler. It’s both platinum and supreme, you guys.

This bling-ed out iPad case is made of solid 22 carat gold and encrusted with 85.5 carats of diamonds. And if you’re at this level of conspicuous consumption, you are probably an a**hole. [The Sun UK] Keep reading »

Too Sexy For Citibank? Pretty Female Banker Sues

The Village Voice has chronicled the long, depressing tale of Debrahlee Lorenzana, an ex-banker for Citibank who is now suing her former employer. It is the story of a gorgeous woman (a single mother who worked long hours climbing up the corporate ladder) who seems to have been hired by a group of men to be the office eye candy. According to the Voice, her two male managers “started making offhanded comments about her appearance,” specifically her makeup, hair and clothes. The attention given to her appearance quickly turned negative, with vibes coming from her superiors that insinuated this hot-to-trot banker babe was distracting the men.

When she complained through the proper channels — her managers, Human Resources, and eventually two regional vice presidents — she says no one took accountability for resolving the problems. In August, Lorenzana claimed she was fired and told she was not a good fit for the culture at Citibank. Her attire was mentioned in the termination discussion; her work performance was not. Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Cupcake Baker Calls Customer A “Fat C-Word” On Twitter After Complaint

  • Crumb, a custom cupcake shop in Raleigh, North Carolina, has interesting ideas about customer service. A Crumb customer named Diana complained over email to co-owner Carrie Nickerson about chocolate ganache sold under the tagline “So Good It Makes Fat People Cry,” and Nickerson wrote back to Diana, “We offend everybody equally. You are the one with hate in your heart, not us.” She then called Diana a “fat c–t” on Twitter (though she later deleted it) and tweeted, “There are way too many uptight people in this world.” [The Gloss]
  • Pregnant women in northern Italy will be offered $5,500 not to have an abortion. The money will be doled out in 18 monthly payments. Italy, you know parents have to raise a child for 18 years, right? [BBC]

Keep reading »

Someone Finally Says Something Sensible About “Sex And The City 2″

You know what gets people worked up on the internet? Not children going to bed hungry. Not murderers and rapists who never see the inside of a jail cell. Not people who abuse animals. No, it’s “Sex and the City 2” that makes people lose their flippin’ minds.

If I hadn’t just taken a week-long vacation in May, I should have done it the week after critics started publishing their scathing, venom-filled “Sex and the City 2″ reviews about how it’s THE WORST THING EVER and OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE BLEEDING. (The cattiest reviews, of course, I collated for you haters here.) But then I found the diamond in the rough: somebody who had something sensible, rather than hysterical, to say about “Sex and the City 2.” Keep reading »

Lindsay Lohan’s Self-Tanner Made Me Look Like The Bloody Chick From “Psycho”

Sevin Nyne self tanner photo

This may come as a surprise to you, but I was first hired at The Frisky as a beauty and style blogger. (This, of course, was before we realized my true calling was brainwashing the masses with my cuh-razy radicalism.) Back when I was a beauty gal, a company called Sevin Nyne sent me a bottle of Lindsay Lohan‘s Tanning Mist, made of caramel, goji berry and chardonnay extracts and promising a buttery, Lohan-like glow.

My pale ass was so excited. Naturally, I called my best friend, Christiane, and we scheduled a hot date to “Lo-tan.” But because half the notions I have in my brain are never seen through, we didn’t get around to it. Christiane and I dreamed about Lo-tanning for more than a year while she moved to Germany and back. But finally, this weekend Christiane braved the wilds of New Jersey for a “Lo-tanning” extravaganza. I stripped down to my undies … and emerged from the bathroom minutes later looking like that woman who gets stabbed in the shower in “Psycho.”

See my tragic photos of how Sevin Nyne Tanning Mist looked on my skin after the jump. Keep reading »

“Downtown Girls” Premiere Recap: Reduce, Reuse & Recycle Your Exes

MTV‘s newest reality show “Downtown Girls” debuted last night and finally we got to see for ourselves whether Glamour.com writer Shallon Lester and her pals are more or less annoying than “The Hills.”

What’s the verdict on “Downtown Girls”? It’s “Sex and the City“-tinged fluff full of model pretty women — but it’s a hell of a lot less awful than all of MTV’s other reality shows. And that counts for something … right? Keep reading »

What’s “The Bechdel Test” And Will Your Next Blockbuster Rental Pass It?

Back in 1985, cartoonist Alison Bechdel drew a “Dykes To Watch Out For” cartoon describing the three rules that govern whether or not she will see a movie:

  1. It has to have two women in it,
  2. Who talk to each other,
  3. About something besides a man.

Keep reading »

British Sexual Harassment PSA Tells Men To Stop Being Gross

I wish America would show stuff like this on television: the Welsh government in the U.K. has released a PSA about sexual harassment. It outlines all the ways dudes think they’re being really suave when they’re actually being totally douchey. I really like that the message isn’t just a blanket “sexual harassment is bad!” but it shows how getting honked, whistled and leered at all adds up. [One Step Too Far, BBC] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Scientists Ban Women From Mock Mission To Mars

  • Russian scientists have banned women from a mock mission to Mars. They don’t want the women to create “sexual tension” during the 18 months they are locked in a capsule. Because, you know, an all-male group won’t have any sexual tension at all. [Daily Mail UK]
  • Constance McMillen, the lesbian Mississippi high schooler who sued her school to allow her to bring her girlfriend to prom, is the guest of honor at the Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center’s prom next weekend. [WLBT]
  • Two so-called “child brides” in Afghanistan, ages 13 and 14, were publicly whipped for running away from their husbands dressed as boys. A bystander videotaped the flogging and leaked it to the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission. Apparently, when the girls were caught by police, they were turned over to the local warlord instead of the country’s shelters for battered women. [New York Times]

Keep reading »

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