Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Meet My New Roommates, Simon Doonan And Jonathan Adler!

Don’t be jealous or anything, but I’m totally moving in with style writer/creative director for Barney’s Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler, into their New York City apartment. They don’t know it yet, but we need to be roommates. The Hermés orange wallpaper! The ping-pong table! The life-sized poodle sculpture! I’ll sleep on top of that giant ceramic rhino if I have to, dammit.

Check out the full house tour for more rooms to envy design ideas. [Wall Street Journal] Keep reading »

Monogrammed iPhone Wallpaper? That’s A Preppy Move I Can Do

Somehow I grew up in the preppiest place in the world and still managed to never have one of those monogrammed L.L. Bean tote bags that inform the world your name is “Muffy” or whatever. But monogrammed iPhone wallpaper? I want now. The 3initials app, $1.99 from the iTunes store, lets you pick a variety of preppy fonts and colors — mostly pink and green, natch — and saves your monogram into your photo album. Tap it to make your monogram into your iPhone wallpaper. It’s easier than popping your collar! [3initials.com] Keep reading »

Taylor Swift Likes A Guy Who Takes Charge

“I want a guy who takes charge, but lets me have my say once in a while. A good relationship is all about balance and chemistry.”

—With a headline like “I Like Dominating Men,” you might think this article would tell us Taylor Swift‘s a kinky mofo. But no. All she meant is that she likes a guy who isn’t lazy. And bloggers will flip out again about how Tay-Tay is “bad for feminism” in five … four … three … [Digital Spy] Keep reading »

Election Day Is Tomorrow — Tell Us Why You’re Going To Vote!

As if you could forget with all the attack ads gumming up TV right now, tomorrow is Election Day. Presidential elections are definitely a lot more exciting, but midterms are actually pretty important, too. If you care about forwarding President Obama‘s agenda — or would give all the Girl Scout cookies in your cupboard to stop him in his tracks — then you’ll want to send someone to Washington who’ll represent your interests. Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Jury Acquits Rapist Who Climbed In Window With A Knife

  • Good news, ladies! A man who broke through a woman’s kitchen window and raped her at knife point has been acquitted by a jury. Timothy West broke into a stranger’s house at 1:30 a.m. and raped her while her family slept elsewhere in the house. When he was finished, he asked for her number, and she saw an opportunity to help the police catch him so she gave it to him. The victim’s brother called 911 after he left and she can be heard crying in the background. Police secretly recorded their conversation when West called her the next day and said — get this — “I do apologize from the bottom of my heart. … You mad at me? I can’t call you no more?” The victim agreed to meet him at a Dunkin Donuts that night, but when he showed up, police were waiting and arrested him. A jury acquitted this fine human being because they assumed she must have known the victim and invited him over. Let me repeat this: They didn’t believe her. I know all my hookups come in via the kitchen window holding a knife! Timothy West is currently in jail serving out the rest of an unrelated sentence for burglary. And then he’ll be back on the streets. Good job, justice system. [Jezebel]

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Pink Can Do It!

Is feminist icon Rosie The Riveter going to be Pink‘s Halloween costume this year? Nope, it’s just a look from the video for her new single “Raise Your Glass,” which debuts on Monday. [AfterEllen.com] Keep reading »

MTV’s Newest Reality Show? “I Used To Be Fat”

Drunk off the success of “16 & Pregnant” and “Jersey Shore,” MTV is adding another reality TV show to its line-up: “I Used To Be Fat.” The show follows overweight teenagers between their senior year of high school and their freshman year of college as they drop the pounds to reveal a “new” self. Each hour-long episode will follow one teen as they work with trainers and nutritionists to lose the weight; according to an executive producer, several teens lost as much as 100 pounds. Keep reading »

Woman Wins $1.4 Million Settlement For Getting Spanked At Work

And the award for the most awkward team-building exercise ever goes to … Janet Orlando of California, who several years ago got a spanking with competitors’ yard signs in front of her co-workers. In 2006, she won a $1.4 million settlement from her employer, Alarm One Inc. in Anahiem, but the company never paid up because its insurers said no bank would finance them that amount of money. On Tuesday, Fresno County Superior Court ruled that her company still owes Orlando her spank-change. And rightly so! But let’s get to the important part: Amelia, why don’t we have team-building exercises that involve spanking? It would sure beat that time we sat in a circle and each had to tell one secret about ourselves. [San Jose Mercury News] Keep reading »

Ken Gets A Reality Show. Whitney Port Hosts?

“The City” is dunzo, but Whitney Port is moving onto bigger and better things. You know, like hosting an online reality series about … wait for it … Barbie‘s hunkahunka burnin’ love, Ken. The eight-episode series on Hulu.com will be called “Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend” and features eight guys competing in challenges to see who’s the best “boyfriend for every occasion.” They must show off their Ken-like qualities by dazzling us with their fashion sense, romancing a lady, and—because this is Ken we are talking about—surfing. Yes, surfing. Presumably, Whitney is the lucky lady who gets to judge each of these Romeos on their boyfriend skillz; never mind that the real Ken broke up with Barbie around Valentine’s Day 2004. Minor detail, right? In my opinion, Heidi Montag would have been a much better human Barbie doll to find the perfect Ken. [Variety] Keep reading »

Ke$ha More “Sleazy” Than Usual In New Song

Take that, Katy Perry and your whipped-cream-spewing/fireworks-exploding boobs. Two can play this game! Ke$ha, the greatest artist of our generation, has tapped into the “Jersey Shore” spirit with her new song, “Sleazy.” It’s the cliché “Your Money Doesn’t Impress Me, Dude,” girl power-ish tune that every female singer or singing group does. But because this is Ke$ha we’re talking about, the hook is “get sleazy … get sleazy … get sleazy.” I’m going to go bop my head to this ditty and fret about what it means for society if “Jersey Shore” is seed for the zeitgeist. [YouTube] Keep reading »

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