Profile for Jessica Wakeman
Don’t Be This Guy: The Creepy “Georgetown Cuddler”
Ew, this is every woman’s worst nightmare happening in real life: a creepy man dubbed “The Georgetown Cuddler” is going around D.C. college campuses, breaking into dorm rooms, and climbing on top of sleeping women. Last week, a female Georgetown student woke up at 4 a.m. to find a stranger in her home touching her inappropriately, just two days after another student woke up with a man believed to be the Cuddler lying next to her on the couch and covering her face. Apparently, this creep also likes to take a blanket from the victim’s bedroom, lay it on top of her, and then he lies on top of the blanket, too. Oh, and occasionally he tries to rape his victims “with varying success.” The Sexist blog, based in D.C., suggested more appropriate names for this creep could be “The Georgetown Entry-Gainer,” “The Georgetown Blanketlayer” or “The Georgetown Rapist.” Gross. Hopefully, some girl bonks this guy on the head with her vibe so police can catch the perv.
Alas, I know exactly how freaky this is, because the weirdo-in-my-bed thing actually happened to me once. Not with the Georgetown Cuddler, though. More, after the jump… Keep reading »
Levi Johnston’s Vanity Fair Smear Piece Calls Sarah Palin A Crappy Mom & Wife
The Vanity Fair “Me and Mrs. Palin” article by Levi Johnston—which he appears to not have “written” so much as dictated to the editors—is the juiciest, gooeyiest, gossipiest smear I’ve ever sunk my teeth into. Did you know Sarah Palin wanted her and the First Dude to secretly adopt Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, so no one would know her teen daughter had been pregnant?!?! Or that Cindy McCain offered to let Bristol and Levi marry at the White House if McCain won?!?! Allegedly.
But beneath all the gossip that supports the theory that, yes, these chuckleheads and their hunting gear are just as ridic as we’ve always thought they were, Levi (and the Vanity Fair editors who approved his piece) tells another story: Sarah Palin is a bad mother and wife. As much as I dislike the Alaskan ex-governor’s character as a politician, that particular story is not one that’s fair to tell. Keep reading »
The PMS Bill Of Rights
I love my body and I’m in touch with my beautiful lady-flower and all that. But the few days of the month that I’ve got PMS are hellacious. Yep, it really blows. I turn into a complete stereotype and it’s just embarrassing: chocolate cravings, tears, not fitting into my skinny jeans, the whole nine yards.
We all know the menfolk in our lives generally can’t relate to this drama. Lucky for me, my dad raised four daughters, so he knew to pick up chocolate ice cream and tampons at the grocery store and then disappear into the TV room until the storm blew over. But if the guy in your life is clueless, it’s time to read him your PMS Bill Of Rights—before he eats the last Haagen-Dazs bar and you read him the riot act instead. Keep reading »
Today’s Lady News: Young OB/GYNs Worry About Doing Abortions
- Out of concern for their safety, young OB/GYN students admit to reconsidering whether or not they’ll do abortions after the recent murder of Dr. George Tiller, a physician in Kansas who terminated pregnancies. “Our doctors are graying and are not being replaced,” the president of the National Women’s Health Foundation has said. [Washington Post]
- Ex-schoolteacher Tiffany Sheperd, 31, has turned to porno after bikini pics got her fired from Port St. Lucie High School in Florida. Shepherd alleged she sent out 2,500 resumes after getting canned last April and has not been hired for a teaching position anywhere. In her new career, Shepherd’s stage name is Leah Lust and she has filmed five flicks, including one called “My First Sex Teacher.” [NY Daily News]
- The attorney for Rifqa Bary, the 17-year-old who ran away from home in Ohio to Florida because she fears her Muslim parents will kill her for converting to Christianity, filed a court memorandum requesting that the girl not be forced to go home. Bary has said her father threatened to kill her and her mother threatened to send her back to her home country of Sri Lanka after they discovered she is a Christian, although both her parents have denied the claims. Presently, the girl is living in foster care. [Fox News]
The Trouble With Good Girls
Talking about girls and women are two different stories. Keep reading »
15 Things You Don’t Want To Know About Your Boyfriend’s Ex
Everyone carries with them a little piece of whoever they’ve loved before and nowhere is this more painfully apparent than when you have to deprogram your boyfriend’s expectation that all women are controlling shebeasts. In time, your guy will stop cowering in fear and asking you, “Is that OK? Are you sure?” every time he wants to hang out with his friends.
Fortunately, other ways his last girlfriend rubbed off on him will be much more benign. However, you might find that some of her beliefs—which are now his beliefs—are equally annoying. Sorry, dude, but there’s only room for two people in a relationship—and believe me, I am well aware she’s the reason you’d die on the barricades defending Ralph Nader as a stellar presidential candidate. After the jump, 15 things you really don’t need to know about his ex… Keep reading »
Pity The Fool Who Edited Levi Johnston’s Piece For Vanity Fair
Sure, Levi Johnston is easy on the eyes, but can the hockey hunk write? We’re guessing probably not. Why, then, is Vanity Fair publishing a piece by Levi titled “Me And Sarah Palin” when there are real journalists who would die for a byline in the national magazine? Clearly, Levi is dumb as rocks, but his handlers have brilliantly steered him off-course from D-list celebrity nude pix doom to the respectable pages of VF. Levi’s cover story is not online yet, so we have to wait for whatever fresh angle Bristol Palin‘s baby daddy could possibly cast on Alaska’s ex-guv. But we already know she’s shady as hell, alright? [Vanity Fair] Keep reading »
Today’s Lady News: Guys Are Scared To Sleep With Lily Allen
Did You Wear Makeup As A Little Girl?
If you spend enough time in Sephora, you’ll see some disconcerting things, like booger-y children sticking their fingers in tubs of lip gloss, or gross grownups abusing their communal lipstick-testing privileges. But a few days ago while strolling around the makeup store, I witnessed a sight I’ve never seen: a woman (I assume she was the mom) swiping blue eye shadow on a young girl who must have been about four years old. I’ve seen lots of kids with painted nails out and about, but never little girls wearing adult makeup.
Not to sound like an old grump complaining about “the kids these days,” but eye shadow on a four-year-old? Really? Isn’t that a bit young? Playing with makeup never appealed to me when I was a little girl myself, though, so perhaps I just don’t understand. Keep reading »
