Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Miley Cyrus Is Engaged At 19, Y’all

Sex Under Table?
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth photo
Liam and Miley supposedly banged underneath a table at Oscars party. Read More »
Miley's Penis Cake
Miley Cyrus munched on a penis cake at her BF's birthday party. Read More »
Sex Is Magical, Says Miley
Miley Cyrus is talking some sense about young people and sex. Read More »
  • Miley Cyrus is engaged, y’all! Her boyfriend of three years, Liam Hemsworth, proposed on May 31 after three years together. While I’m happy for Miley, can we all agree that getting engaged at 19 is really young? Take your time, Miley!  [PopCrush]
  • Sheryl Crow announced she has a benign brain tumor and wrote on Facebook, “I want to assure everyone I’m OK.” Crow also battled breast cancer back in 2006. She can’t catch a break, can she? [People]
  • “Mad Men” actor Jared Harris, who played Lane Pryce, seems to be implying in this interview that Elisabeth Moss (who plays Peggy Olson) is off the show for good. Gasp! [The Daily]
  • Rihanna told Esquire she doesn’t understand why her collaborations with former abuser Chris Brown were controversial. I’m starting to think RiRi is not very bright. [The Hollywood Gossip]
  • Kate Winslet covered Italian Vanity Fair and gushes, “I am sincerely grateful for my buttocks.” Us, too, Kate. Us, too. [Celebitchy] Keep reading »

Scout Willis Absurdly Arrested In NYC For Drinking A Beer

Demi Hospitalized
Demi Moore photo
Demi Moore was rushed to a hospital for drug use. Read More »
Demi Divorcing
ashton kutcher and demi moore photo
Demi Moore confirmed she is splitting from Ashton Kutcher after 6 years. Read More »
Morning Quickies
Gwyneth Paltrow photo
Gwyneth Paltrow tweeted the n-word, which was not a good idea. Read More »
  • Whoopsies! Scout Willis, 20, was arrested in New York City on Monday evening for drinking an “eight-ounce Pakistani beer” while underage and handing cops a fake ID. You would think Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’ daughter would know better than that. I can’t believe that the drinking age is 21 in this country! Stupid behavior all around, yes, but Scout is hardly the first underage drinker out there. [People]
  • Paul McCartney will be your inoffensive, no-surprises-whatsoever performer at the opening ceremony for the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. [Celebrity Cafe]
  • Amber Portwood from “Teen Mom” could be facing five years in jail for violating parole. Yikes. [Us Weekly]
  • Cool: check out these 14 Marilyn Monroe photographs that you’ve never seen before. [Gothamist] Keep reading »

Paycheck Fairness Act Blocked By Senate Republicans

Today's Lady News photo
  • Republicans in the Senate blocked the Paycheck Fairness Act in a 52-47 vote through a filibuster. Bummer, dudes. The bill would have strengthened the Equal Pay Act of 1963 and tightened up some loopholes in pay inequity. [Think Progress]
  • Doctors are speaking out against anti-abortion activists’ claims that Plan B can cause an “abortion” by blocking a fertilized egg from implanting in the womb. Plenty of politicians, including Mitt Romney and Michele Bachmman, have referred to the morning-after pill as “abortive pills” or “morning-after abortion pills.” Just because you keep repeating something doesn’t mean it is medically true, guys! [New York Times]
  • Also, Representative Cliff Stearns of Florida has suggested criminal punishments for women who have abortions. [Reproductive Health Reality Check]
  • A Republican campaign spokesman in New York who suggested in a Facebook wall post that people “hurl some acid” on female Democratic senators has resigned. [The Nation]
    Keep reading »

President Obama Covers “Call Me Maybe,” Sort Of

Miss USA Cover
Miss USA Call Me Maybe
Watch this: Miss USA contestants cover "Call Me Maybe." Read More »
Call Me Maybe?
"Call me maybe" business cards are officially a thing. Read More »
Adopt Me Maybe?
Shelter dogs ask, "Adopt me, maybe?" Read More »
Watch Video

Health care reform what? Syria who? President Obama is just the latest celeb to cover that super catchy “Call Me Maybe” song. It’s cute, but it’s most redeeming quality is 100 percent less Donald Trump than the Miss USA pageant contestant cover. [MTV.Tumblr.com]

Attention, Men: This Is Why Women Hate Your Gross Apartment

Secret Single Behavior
The 20 things we're kind of ashamed that we do when we're alone. Read More »
Gross Beauty Rituals
The gross things we do to be beautiful. Read More »
Toilet Grossness
Real World logo
"Real World: New Orleans" had a toothbrush in the toilet incident. Read More »
gross apartments

Poor men. They’ve been sleepwalking through life trying not to screw up the first date or the first kiss. Those events are important, duh, but there is a booby trap lurking underfoot: The real big deal that dudes have to try not to screw up is the grand unveiling of his living quarters.

No, ladies are not judging the size of your place or whether you live in an apartment or a house.  What women really judge you on? When we meet a guy whose cute, smart, and funny and then his place is nasty and dirty. If your place looks like the “Jersey Shore” house at the end of the summer on a typical Tuesday night, we’ve got problems. Rather, you’ve got problems.

So, gather ’round men and grab your Scrubbing Bubbles. This is what women hate about your filthy apartment: Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Really Feel Like I’m Losing My Best Friend

Friends We Need
Six types of friends every woman needs. Read More »
FB Friends To Keep
Because they're so fun to stalk! Read More »

When I’m really upset there is only one person I want to talk with: my mom.

“Mom?” I said, my voice wobbling. “Ashley got into med school.”

“That’s great!” Mom exclaimed. Like me, my mother has known Ashley since we met in kindergarten.

“Yes … but … she got in med school in Israel. She’s moving to Israel in July.”

“Good for her!” My mother didn’t understand what I was trying to tell her.

“Well, yes, it’s good she got into med school, but Mom, she is moving to ISRAEL in less than two months. Friggin’ Israel. Another one of my best friends is moving away. I should just move across the Atlantic Ocean at this point.”

“Oh.” Pause. “Maybe you’ll make some new friends?” Keep reading »

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