I haven’t exactly kept it a secret around here the way that I’m sexually wired. For the most part, though, the only person whose opinion matters on the subject is my sexual partner. (And any roommates who have to listen to occasional smacking.) Yet, every so often, BDSM — that’s bondage, dominance, sadomasochism — pops up in mainstream popular culture and us kinksters and spankos get to hear the mainstream’s opinion on our lives.
“Secretary,” starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader, a flick about a secretary who enters into a dominance/submission relationship with her boss, came out while I was in college. Although the flick was understandably controversial, it explained to a lot of people, “Hey, we’re just regular folks like you. Except, you know, not so regular!”
More recently, it’s the BDSM erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey that has people talking. It seems everyone has an opinion on the subject — including those who are completely misguided about who kinksters are and what we do. Take, for instance, feminist blogger Morgane Richardson and a piece she wrote calling 50 Shades “a glimpse into domestic violence.”