Okay, Internet. Everyone else can stop now. It’s time to go home. I have found the number one most f**ked up and depraved thing on the web: a clip from the first-ever Humpy Awards, a competition in Georgia where dogs and their owners compete in humping. Yes, you read that least sentence correctly. Keep reading »
This morning’s alarm clock rudely awoke me from a dream … but not just any dream. A sex dream. And not just any sex dream: it was a sex dream about Anthony Bourdain. You know, the food writer and host of “No Reservations”?
It is news to me that I am sexually attracted to Anthony Bourdain, who I always thought was kind of pompous and obnoxious. (I also had bad service at one of his restaurants on my 25th birthday, so there’s that.) But what was even more bizarre was that whatever we were doing to each other involved makeup brushes.
I woke up confused and just a tad disturbed. So it is time to show these sex dreams who’s boss! Listen up, subconscious: here are seven rules all sex dreams should have to follow. Keep reading »
Hi, y’all! As you read this I’m laying on the beach with my BFF. There may even be a fruity drink with a little umbrella involved. So that means Today’s Lady News will be a reader submission edition! Submit your own links to news articles and blog posts about women, girls, trans-identified people, gender roles, feminism or sexism in the comments. Just write a sentence or two summary explaining what the link is about and give everyone a heads up if it has language or imagery that’s NSFW. I’ll be back Monday!
Dear Guy Who Sings “Kiss From A Rose” To His Cat,
Not all of us can hit a high note. Hell, not all of us can hit any notes. But that hasn’t stopped you from expressing your love in the best way you know how: by serenading your cat with Seal’s masterpiece, “Kiss From A Rose.” Some people might watch you and think, Wow, this man is really into his cat. I watch you and think, Here’s a man who really knows how to spoon. Okay, maybe you were trying to cuddle kind of aggressively and a musical serenade is somewhat less romantic when it’s happening under physical duress. Cats are finicky, though. Yours clearly didn’t appreciate the sweetness of your gesture.
I would appreciate it, Guy Who Sings “Kiss From A Rose” to his cat. Call me! [The FW]