Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Tell Us Your Condom Mishaps!

Condom Lost Inside
This woman got a condom lost inside the black hole of her vag. Read More »
Condom Excuses
The five worst excuses men use to avoid wearing condoms. Read More »
Mind Of Man
John Devore explains what dudes really think about rubbers. Read More »

This weekend, the worst thing ever happened. And by the worst thing ever, I mean a used condom landed on top of my cell phone.

O’Boyfriend and I were, uhhhh, using a condom. And then we were done using the condom. And then because I  didn’t want it or its contents spilling on my bedsheets, I suggested he throw it in the wastepaper basket. So LeBron James over here tossed it in the direction of the trash … and it landed on top of my iPhone. Keep reading »

Mariah Carey Is Your New “American Idol” Judge

Mariah To Idol?
Mariah Carey photo
Mariah Carey might be your new fruit loop judge. Read More »
Mariah's Twins!
No, not those twins. Morocco and Monroe is who I'm talking about. Read More »
Morning Quickies
Minka Kelly photo
Uh oh! There's a Minky Kelly sex tape! Read More »
  • Basking in a $17 million payday, Mariah Carey has officially been hired as your newest “American Idol” judge. Amelia thinks this job is beneath her, while I think Mariah is just cuckoo-bananas enough for this gig to make great television. [PopCrush, Uptown Magazine]
  • Are you a fan of “Miss Advised” or “Bachelor Pad”? Follow Amelia on Twitter (@xoamelia) and she’ll be live-tweeting both shows tonight starting at 8 p.m. Don’t worry, there will be recaps tomorrow as well. [Amelia's Twitter]
  • Emma Watson is allegedly in talks to play Anastasia Steele in the 50 Shades Of Grey movie, supposedly because she is the right combination of “innocence with the acting skills.” True. But still: Hermione?!?! [Showbiz Spy]
  • Can avoiding orgasms improve your sex life? [Em & Lo]
  • Lindsay Lohan wants her and Jennifer Lawrence to do a remake of “Thelma and Louise,” as if Jennifer would even take her calls. [Crushable]
  • Some jokester stole over 500 cardboard cutouts of David Hasslehoff drinking 99-cent iced coffee from Cumberland Farms stores in the Boston area. [Betty Confidential] Keep reading »

Mindy Kaling Won’t Answer Your Stupid “Are Women Funny?” Question

JGL We're Breaking Up
Says pretty girls are typically not funny. Read More »
JGL Clarifies
JGL clarifies his "pretty girls are rarely funny" comment, as well he should! Read More »
Why Funny Women Rule
Mind of Man
John DeVore on why funny women are a natural resource. Read More »
  • “The Office” actress/writer Mindy Kaling is so over this “Are women funny?” conversation. (As am I.) While speaking to the Television Critics Association, Kaling was asked about recent pay-attention-to-meeeee comments by “The Man Show”‘s Adam Carolla that women just aren’t as funny as men. “Anything about putting into question whether women are funny or funny writers, I can’t comment on because it’s just so ridiculous,” Kaling responded. “It kind of keeps the argument alive. I said in my book, it’s like a nonsensical argument that we choose to keep alive by commenting on. It’s just beneath everyone by having it be a debate.” Damn straight! [The Wrap]
  • A “personhood amendment” seeking to criminalize all abortion by defining a fetus as a person has failed to make it onto the ballot in Montana. [Think Progress]
  • Tonya Reaves, 24, died this weekend at a Planned Parenthood in Chicago while undergoing a D&C abortion in her 12th week (second trimester). It is unclear what exactly caused the death. \ [Madame Noire]
  • Condom searches are being used by police in major cities to profile sex workers — despite the fact any ol’ woman or man could be carrying condoms. [Feministing] Keep reading »

No, Just No: An Aurora Massacre Thong

Tragedy In Colorado
A gunman killed 12 and injured 50 at showing of "The Dark Knight Rises." Read More »
Killer's Match.com Profile
Ladies, he wants kids. Ugh. Read More »
Don't Marry Him
Hey, Patricia Legarreta. You seriously should not marry Jamie Rohrs. Read More »

Well, that didn’t take very long. Some tasteless asshat made thongs reading “Aurora 7-20-12″ for sale on the CafePress web site. They appear to have been taken down by now, but The Cut captured a screengrab. What is wrong with some people?  [NYMag.com]

Tampa Strip Club Hires Sarah Palin Lookalike Stripper For Republican National Convention

Pole Tax
man at strip club photo
Houston is taxing its strip clubs and rubbing patrons the wrong way. Read More »
Lulu The Plus Size Stripper
Lulu the plus size pole dancer
Lulu the plus size stripper is my spirit animal. Read More »
Sarah Palin photo

The Republican National Convention is August 27 to 30 in Tampa, Florida, and that means the area’s 40 strip clubs are scrambling to get ready. Strip club owners say that during the 2009 Super Bowl in Tampa, they doubled and tripled the number of dancers. What will happen for this GOP-palooza? Well, you’ll be happy to hear the Sarah Palin-lookalike stripper is booked. Another club has set up an online chatroom called the Club Cam where deep-pocketed Republicans can chat with strippers — for $4-a-minute, plus a $19.99 monthly membership — before their plane even lands in Tampa. Hey, what recession?!  [TampaBayOnline] [Photo: Getty]

Get Your “Downtown Abbey” Season Three Spoilers Right Here

Downton Abbey: A-Z
An alphabetical guide to our favorite new show! Read More »
Downton Abbey Style
style inspiration downton abbey
Get the look of early-1900's glamour. Read More »
Sex Lessons From Downton
What the show taught us about the birds and the bees. Read More »

“Downtown Abbey”‘s season three premiere on January 6 is a long way off. But it’s never too early for spoilers! At a press tour last night for the Television Critics Association, creator Julian Fellowes spilled the beans on what we can expect from the PBS upstairs/downstairs tale. Namely, Shirley MacLaine.   Keep reading »

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