Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Why Are Politicians Attempting To Redefine Rape?

The “No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act” redefines “real” rape as only that which is “forcible” and has been co-sponsored by 173 mostly Republican legislators and was called a “top priority” by Speaker of the House John Boehner. Likely knowing that fully criminalizing abortion is impossible, politicians are going after the funding of abortions in certain cases of rape and incest. Slipped a roofie and raped while you are unconscious? Raped while you are blackout drunk and unable to consent? Sexually assaulted by your uncle at age 19? If you are poor and need governmental funding to help terminate a pregnancy resulting from this horrific acts, there will be no help for you.

I hope your breakfast is sitting well with you, because you’re about to get queasy if you read on. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Newfound Respect For Chivalry

My freshman year of college, I went on a date with a guy to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan. It was the kind of place with a white tablecloth, where a busboy scraped the crumbs off the table with a comb once your plates were removed and the maitre’d pulled out women’s chairs for them. That’s where I made my big statement: the maitre’d pulled out a chair for me and I walked around to the other chair, pulled it out for myself and sat down. I wasn’t just being rude; I thought I was making a point about how I — and by extension all women — didn’t need to be treated with chivalry. Keep reading »

Portia De Rossi’s Mom Didn’t Want Her To Date Ellen DeGeneres

“My mother would freak out about me dating women. If I called her and said I’d been out on a date, she’d start panicking and saying, ‘What if they found out? What if they found out who you are?’ So I’d say, ‘Mom, relax, I’m not dating Ellen DeGeneres, for God’s sake.’ It was really funny because when I finally called her and said, ‘Mom, guess who I’m dating? Ellen DeGeneres,’ it was that worst case scenario moment for her. I guess it was for me, also, because I had been kind of creeping out of the closet, but I’d never come out in the media and confirmed that I was, in fact, gay. I just lived my life openly and whoever knew, knew. But I’ve since realized that that’s even more damaging, because if people assume that you’re gay but you don’t publicly admit to it, it seems like there really is something to be ashamed of.”

Portia de Rossi on being halfway out of the closet — and now, she and Ellen are the cutest couple in Hollywood! [Bust Magazine] Keep reading »

Quickies: Sarah Palin Is “Great Masturbation Material” For Tracy Morgan

  • Tracy Morgan called Sarah Palin “great masturbation material” — a sexist assessment of the telegenic but dimwitted ex-governor, but nevertheless one that holds a grain of truth. So, if his “30 Rock” co-star Tina Fey does a spot-on Sarah Palin impersonation, does that mean Tracy thinks Tina is great masturbation material, too? [The Superficial]
  • Author Terry McMillian recently tweeted that Willow and Jaden Smith were being “pimped” and “exploited” by their parents, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, and that she saw an “arrogance in their demeanor and behavior.” She then issued an apology, no doubt in response to rabid “Whip My Hair” fans. [ONTD]
  • Bristol Palin pulled out of a “Sexual Responsibility Week” talk at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri, after students threatened a revolt. [TMZ.com]

Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: New Mexico Introduces Parental Notification Law For Abortion

  • A state representative in New Mexico has introduced a bill that would require the parents of girls ages 17 or younger to be notified if she has an abortion. [Daily-Times.com]
  • A lesbian from Uganda has gotten a temporary reprieve from being deported by the U.K. Brenda Namigadde said she could be killed if she is sent back to Uganda, where homosexuality is against the law. [BBC]
  • There’s a “Xena: Warrior Princess” conference in L.A., people! [Los Angeles Times]

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m A Feminist, But I Think I Want To Date A More Traditional Dude

One of the defining tensions in my life has always been reconciling my feminist political beliefs, my desire for a respectful and egalitarian relationship, and my attraction to more traditional alpha males. I passionately believe in women’s equality, in reproductive rights, and in equal pay for equal work. And I want to be in a loving, intimate, balanced relationship where everyone makes a contribution, whatever that might be. So why do those things seem so hard to reconcile with my desire to feel looked after and taken care of? Keep reading »

Quickies: Amy Poehler On Her Embarrassing Stock Model Photos & Who’s Got A Coke Booger?

  • Amy Poehler told Jimmy Kimmel that when she was 28, she did those doofy stock model photos “for the money.” Hey, if those are the most incriminating photos that surface from your youth, you should consider yourself lucky!
  • Porn queen Jenna Jameson says Chelsea Handler is a “dried up old whore.” Umm, glass house, Jenna. Careful. [Twitter]
  • Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital with a towel over his face early this morning. Apparently, the troubled actor had a party last night and, well, I suppose anything could have happened. [TMZ]
  • The first eight words of Lady Gaga’s new song, “Born This Way,” dissected! [Popdust]

Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Breast Implants Linked To Cancer

  • Breast implants, both saline and silicone, have been linked to lymphoma, a rare form of cancer, the FDA has announced. Lymphoma is not breast cancer, but it did develop around the scars left by the implants. [New York Times]
  • Anti-abortion extremist Randall Terry — he runs Operation Rescue — has announced that he will challenge President Obama next year for the Democratic presidential nomination. Good luck with that. [CNN]
  • Spanx for pregnant women sound … dangerous. [Globe and Mail]

Keep reading »

Having A Baby — Not Having An Abortion — Increases Your Risk For Mental Health Problems

Having an abortion does not trigger mental health problems, according to a Danish study of 365,550 teen girls and women who had an abortion or a baby between 1995 and 2007. In fact, what makes a woman most at risk for mental health problems is having a baby, the study published in The New England Journal of Medicine found. None of the women studied had a prior history of psychiatric hospitalization.

Sorry to burst your bubble, anti-abortion extremists. Keep reading »

Prince William And Kate Middleton Get A Lifetime Movie, We Suggest Plot Points

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting the Lifetime movie treatment. Yup, sometime in April before their April 29th wedding, Lifetime will air a movie about their courtship. According to Entertainment Weekly, Nico Evers-Swindell of “Law & Order” and “NCIS: Los Angeles” will play Prince William, Ben Cross of “Chariots of Fire” will play Prince Charles, and the actress to play Kate Middleton has not yet been cast. No matter, this movie is totally going to be better than “The Craigslist Killer”!

Now, we all know that in Lifetime movies, someone dies a horrific and untimely death. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen in this movie. (Except for the Princess Di part.) But we can imagine what kind of ridiculous Lifetime-esque plots, full of passion, intrigue, and even more passion, that they could come up with … Keep reading »

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