Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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A Stitch In Time

Feeling crafty but intimidated by Superglue (eek) or knitting needles (oh my)? Fret not, friends! Crafting 101 is as simple as picking up a needle and thread and embroidering a hella cool design on a throw pillow or T-shirt. Sublime Stiching: Embroidered Effects by Jenny Hart has instructions and diagrams for 35 stiches, including a temporary tattoo for a shirt sleeve or wine bottles on your apron! There’s even dozens of reusable iron-on transfers to funkify your threads. Make your home-ec teacher proud and hop on the embroidery train. (You can always learn to knit later!)

[$24.95 Buy Olympia]

Quickies: Liz Taylor And Michael Jackson’s Post-9/11 Road Trip & Blake Shelton’s Anti-Gay Tweets

  • On September 10, 2001, Michael Jackson played a concert in New York City and his two good pals, Liz Taylor and Marlon Brando, sat in the audience. On September 11th, NYC was attacked by terrorists and friends of the now-deceased stars claim the threesome hopped in a car and started driving cross-country. Claims Vanity Fair magazine, “Brando allegedly annoyed his traveling companions by insisting on stopping at nearly every KFC and Burger King they passed along the highway.” Praise be, this has all been explained for our amusement via Taiwanese animation. [Vanity Fair]
  • The upcoming TV lineup is packed with shows starring ladies! Yesss! I’m setting my DVR to record half of these shows right now. [Vulture]
  • Oksana Grigorieva has dropped her domestic violence claim against Mel Gibson, apparently as an “olive branch.” Ugh, I don’t understand these people. [TMZ]
  • How much do celebs earn for appearing on “Dancing With The Stars”? The results will shock you. Now we know how Bristol Palin could afford all that plastic surgery. [PopEater]

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Today’s Lady News: UK Politicians Support Girls-Only Abstinence Education

  • Politicians in the UK advanced a bill that would require British girls — yes, only the girls — to receive additional sex education that emphasizes the benefits of abstinence. This sex ed “program,” if you could even call it that, is aimed at girls ages 13 to 16. It narrowly passed, but fortunately it’s not expected to be made into law. Um, will someone tell the Brits that abstinence-only education is not working out too well for us? Do they have “16 & Pregnant” on MTV over there? [Guardian UK]
  • North Carolina’s House judiciary committee debated a bill yesterday that would further restrict reproductive rights in the state by requiring women to wait 24 hours before having an abortion and requiring doctors to describe an ultrasound of the fetus to the woman. [ABC News]
  • Legislation that would make it more difficult for young women to obtain abortions without their parents knowledge is headed to Florida’s Governor Rick Scott, who is expected to sign it. [Palm Beach Post]

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Steven Tyler Just Adores Pamela Anderson And Her Pee

“I remember the first time I saw [Pamela Anderson] at the MTV Europe Music Awards at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. She was going out with that guy in Poison, Bret Michaels. She was so hot so I lied and said, ‘What the f**k are you doin’ with that jerk? You know I was going to be here.’ So pretentious, so rock star, but then again I’d drink a gallon of her piss just to see where it comes from.”

Steven Tyler was quite taken with Pamela Anderson the first time they met. If every excerpt of Steven’s memoir Does The Noise In My Head Bother You? is this good, I’ve got to read it immediately. [Seattle Weekly] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: When Breakups Get Ugly

I guess I was lucky: I made it to age 26 without any really messy breakups. Sure, there were breakups that I thought were bad at the time. In the moment, they all felt terrible. But getting dumped after traveling an hour and a half to see someone or getting dumped on a sailboat in the middle of Long Island Sound — two breakups from my “Worst Of The Worst Highlights Reel” — mostly turned out to be good stories later. Hurt feelings soothed, cooler heads prevailed and I’m pretty much on friendly terms with everyone I’ve ever dated. I even had a coffee with one of my ex-boyfriends just recently. For better or for worse, I’m a deeply loyal and forgiving person. I see the best in people because I want to see the best in people. My most recent breakup was messy and nasty from the get-go and I’m adamant now that we can’t be friends. I put that relationship behind me as much as I could. So I was totally unprepared this week when it once again got unexpectedly nasty. Keep reading »

Pippa Middleton’s Got Pics In Her Bra Floating Around

pippa middleton bra photo

And the embarrassing photos come out … a pic of Pippa Middleton in her bra has hit the internet, just a week after Pippa captivated the world as her sister Kate Middleton‘s royal bridesmaid. Pippa Middleton’s shirtless pic looks like the kind of photo lots of us have taken after a few too many tequila shots. Still, she’s the sister of a duchess. Scandal! Pippa’s pic comes just a day after a whole buttload of James Middleton’s NSFW naked butt pics hit the Internet. These Middleton kids sure love to take their clothes off, huh? [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

What Is “The Smurfette Principle”?

Who do “Inception,” “Transformers” and “The Muppets” all have in common? I was scratching my head on that one. All three movies are examples of “the Smurfette principle,” explains Anita Sarkeesian of the blog Feminist Frequency. “The Smurfette principle” is a common trope in movies and TV shows that try to be palatable to male audiences by having an ensemble of nearly all male characters with one token female character, who is oftentimes uber-feminine (Miss Piggy) or super hot (Megan Fox) or otherwise unthreatening. Keep reading »

Did Bristol Palin Get Plastic Surgery?

Did Bristol Palin get plastic surgery with her babysitting abstinence-preaching money? It looks like someone’s got a new face! In these new pics, Bristol Palin’s face looks slimmer and more heart-shaped while her chin and cheekbones are more defined, giving her an admittedly more “generic Disney star” look. Very “High School Musical” instead of “Teen Mom: Wasilla,” no? If anyone’s been going under the knife up in Wasilla, I’m sure Levi Johnston will have it blasted on a bullhorn just as soon as he catches wind of it. Do you agree it looks like Bristol Palin got plastic surgery? [Gawker] Keep reading »

Quickies: Mariah Carey’s Babies Are Named Moroccan And Monroe & James Middleton’s Got Naked Pics

  • Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have revealed the names of their twin babies, who were born on Saturday! Moroccan Scott Cannon is the baby boy and Monroe Cannon is the baby girl. Sadly, Butterfly Honey and Glittersparkle did not make the cut. [Dlisted]
  • Beyoncé surprised a gym full of school kids in Harlem who were dancing to her song “Get Me Bodied” for Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” campaign and their reactions are so adorable! This video brought tears to my eyes because I am a major nerd. [NYmag.com Vulture]
  • Jennifer Aniston’s former hookup, Brian Bouma, a lighting tech on “Love Happens,” blabbed to Radar Online all about their fling. Jen likes “bad boys” and made Brian “feel and act like a young school boy.” Jen allegedly chucked this chucklehead to the curb because he was “Mr. Too Pure.” [RadarOnline]

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Today’s Lady News: Sarah Palin Tweets To Obama “No Pussyfooting” On Osama Bin Laden Pic

  • Sarah Palin weighed in on the Osama bin Laden death photo debate on Twitter — because we all care what the former governor of Alaska thinks about it!!! — to tell President Obama, “Show photo as warning to others seeking America’s destruction. No pussy-footing around, no politicking, no drama; it’s part of the mission.” Translation: This was probably the only way Sarah could use the word “pussy” in reference to Obama in a tweet and not get in trouble. [BuzzFeed]
  • An Iowa bill that will ban most abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy — which is when anti-abortion activists say a fetus can feel pain — was basically dead inside a state legislature committee, but a group of politicians used a loophole to send it to the Iowa Senate. The bill may be up for a vote as soon as next week. [Des Moines Register]
  • Twenty years after she was raped at a college party, Liz Seccuro received an apology letter from her rapist. [Guardian UK]

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