Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Swiffer Thinks Men Should Get A Damn T-Shirt For Cleaning

Gross Apartments
gross apartments
Dudes, this is why ladies think your apartments are gross. Read More »
Sexist Axe Ad
axe boobs
A headless pair of boobs stars in Axe's new commercial. Read More »
On Housework
Who does the most housework in a marriage? Read More »
swiffer man up clean up

Yes, men cleaning. Who’d've thunk, right?!  Just a T-shirt, Swiffer? Not a Boy Scout badge? Or the Nobel Prize, perhaps?  I mean, men cleaning is obviously such a rare and uncommon practice that you think guys deserve a T-shirt bragging “Caution: Men Being Awesome” for wiping a Swiffer across the floor. (Which, as someone who also does not like to clean, I don’t think we can justifiably call “cleaning.”) It’s all part of the world’s dopiest Facebook contest called “Man Up, Clean Up” for men who are “clean, dirty, skilled or clueless” to go to Swiffer’s page and share stories of why it is “worth it” to help with household cleanups. More blowjobs? Not getting roaches? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. And just think, when you win that T-shirt, you’ll have something to use as a rag. [BusinessWire]

Fireworks, Andy Samberg, Wine: More Deets On Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel’s Wedding

They're Married!
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have wed in Italy. Read More »
Crazy Prenups
Jessica gets $500K if Justin cheats on her. How romantic! Read More »
JT Tells JB What To Wear
I wouldn't necessarily follow his advice, but... Read More »
  • Celebuzz has more deets on Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel’s wedding earlier today: they wed in front of 45 guests at the Borgo Engazia in Puglia, Italy, amongst friends like Andy Samberg and Biel’s “7th Heaven” co-star Beverly Mitchell. Guests also enjoyed local wine and a 10-minute fireworks display! [Celebuzz]
  • Here’s the inevitable Mitt Romney “Gangnam Style” spoof. [The FW]
  • The election as understood by a five-year-old. [Cracked]
  • Taylor Swift’s first splurge when she started making money? A Lexus SC430. [PopCrush]
  • Billy Corgan from The Smashing Pumpkins opens up about the various times he’s contemplated suicide. [StupidCelebrities] Keep reading »

Study: Female Genital Mutilation Ruins Sex Lives

Today's Lady News
  • Today in No Duh News: women who are forced to have their genitals cut as young girls have more sexual dysfunction as adults, according to a new study in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. FGM or female circumcision removes all or part of a girl’s clitoris and labia for the purpose of restricting her enjoyment of sex. One-hundred-and-thirty million women have been cut, mostly in sub-Saharan Africa. [Reuters]
  • Why casual sexism in science matters. [Boing Boing]
  • This white woman wearing a huge black Afro wig and writing about it on her blog Before And Afro is a joke, right? [PostBourgie]
  • Mormon feminists exist and they are for Obama. [Reuters]
  • Nerds! What do we think of these new PCs designed “for women by women”? Unless it is a chocolate bar shaped like a PC, I am not sure why I need a different computer than a man. [CNET] Keep reading »

Paul Ryan: “War On Women” Like “War On Left-Handed Irishmen”

VP Debate: Abortion
Joe Biden vs. Paul Ryan on abortion. Beans will be mentioned. Read More »
Paul Ryan Gosling
Hey girl, follow this funny Twitter account. Read More »
Workout Paul Ryan
Nice biceps, bro. Read More »

“Now it’s a war on women; tomorrow it’s going to be a war on left-handed Irishmen or something like that.”

— Republican Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan in Florida yesterday handily dismissed the so-called “war on women” (as a left-handed Irishmen would say) as bollocks. So I guess this means tomorrow every left-handed guy across Ireland will earn 77 cents on the dollar and be expected to procreate like a barnyard animal. And just wait until these fellas learn all about “legitimate rape.”

You want to make me angry, Paul Ryan? You take away my reproductive rights and pretend like you’re not doing it. You want to make me REALLY angry? You declare war on my precious Chris O’Dowd. [Raw Story]

Florida Man Attacks Boyfriend For Listening To Too Much Alanis Morrisette

"Basket Case" Cover
Alanis covers "Basket Case" in homage to her friend Billie Joe. Read More »
Alanis' Struggle
Alanis Morissette talks about her fraught relationship with food. Read More »
Britney Does Alanis
Britney Spears covered "You Oughta Know" and it's really good. Read More »

Florida has reached a new low in Florida-ness: a 33-year-old man attacked his boyfriend with a plate because he wouldn’t stop listening to Alanis Morrisette.  Todd Fletcher hit Allen Casey, 24, with his hands and with a plate, causing a gash to his face; the pair were actually seen fighting by a passerby, who alerted police. (SEE? Spying is totally OK!)  When asked by police why he was hitting his lover, Fletcher blamed the Canadian songwriter and huffed, “That’s all that (expletive) listens to.” If Alanis herself could respond to this claim I think she would warble “Whooooooaaaaa that sounds like bullllllllllllllshit yeah yeah yeah!” Bad, bad Florida man: An aversion to ’90 alt-rock lady anthems is not an excuse for domestic violence. [NME]

Britney Spears Was A Meth Addict, Ex-Manager Blabs

Brit Apologizes
britney spears apology letter
Britnesy Spears apologized to x17 for attacking them with an umbrella. Read More »
Erotic Novel
Kevin Federline's aunt penned an erotic novel about his ex-marriage. Read More »
Brit Dances "Gangnam"
britney spears dances "gangnam style"
She gets a lesson on the "Gangnam Style" dance from Psy himself. Read More »
  • The lawyer for Britney Spears’s ex-manager Sam Lufti has alleged that Brit-Brit used to be a meth and amphetamine addict and that she had OD-ed the night in 2008 when she was strapped to a stretcher and hospitalized. Lufti is also claiming Brit shaved her head during that infamous 2007 meltdown to hide DNA evidence of all the drugs she was abusing.  [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Danielle Daniel Radcliffe and his girlfriend of four years, production assistant, Rosie Coker have split. [The Celebrity Cafe]
  • Lindsay Lohan blew off work on “The Canyons,” because she is Lindsay Lohan, and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis tweeted about it, because he is Bret Easton Ellis. [Socialite Life]
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

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