Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Angelina Jolie “Still Naughty,” Brad Pitt Brags

“She’s still naughty in sexual ways. I mean this is not exactly an Angel of Mercy.”

– Brad Pitt inexplicably blabbing about his sex life with Angelina Jolie in the New York Post.  We know Angie is kinky, but this is the first time he’s indicated — that “angel of mercy” comment — that she might be the more dominant one in bed. (Which, if Brad Pitt is into that, would certainly explain why his marriage to Jennifer Aniston fizzled out. I can’t really imagine her getting her Christian Grey on.) Anyway, these two lovebirds need to stop gushing about their amazeballs sex life publicly — their kids are old enough to read! No child wants that mental image. [NY Post] [Photo: WENN]

Police Say Sharmeka Moffitt Set Herself On Fire In Alleged KKK Attack

Sharmeka Moffitt

Yesterday. we were aghast to hear that a 20-year-old Louisiana woman named Sharmeka Moffitt claimed she had been attacked by three men and set on fire, burning the majority of her body, in a hate crime.

Last night, police confirmed that Sharmeka Moffitt actually faked the “attack,” scrawled the n-word and KKK on her car, and set herelf ablaze. Keep reading »

Obama Divorce Papers? Donald Trump Claims He’s Got ‘Em

Trump Wants Palin To Run
Sarah Palin and Donald Trump photo
Birds of a feather flock together, huh? Read More »
Trump Skeeves Model
dayana mendoza photo
Donald Trump asks Miss Universe if her boyfriend is rich. Read More »
Trump's Dick Size
Today's Lady News photo
Trump says he's got a big dick. Thou doth protesteth too much. Read More »
  • Despicable human being Donald Trump announced yesterday he has something “bordering on gigantic” to reveal about President Obama. So let’s hear it: Douglass Kass, Trump’s fellow talking head on the talk show “Squawkbox,” claims on Twitter that Trump has divorce papers between Barack and Michelle Obama.  Kass tweeted, “High above the Alps my Gnome [sic] has heard that Donald Trump will announce that he has unearthed divorce papers between the Prez and his wife.” It has previously claimed that Michelle Obama considered divorcing Barack in 2000 in the early days of his political career, apparently because he was on the road a lot. But frankly, even if it is/was true, does anyone really care if the Obamas once considered divorcing? They seem pretty in love now.  [ONTD, Twitter.com/DougKass] Keep reading »

Little Boy Learns He Can’t Be A Princess For Halloween

Slutty Kids Costumes
It's kids' options for Halloween that are truly scary. Read More »
Halloween Badasses
10 awesome ladies to dress up as this Halloween. Read More »
Halloween!
Everything you need for a spooktastic Halloween. Read More »
What Would You Do? Halloween
No Princess Costume For You!

I have a love-hate relationship with “What Would You Do?”, the so-called ‘reality’ show that hires actors to enact controversial situations in public to gauge the response of random people. I don’t actually watch the show, but every time I read about one of the show’s episodes online — What will happen when this neo-Nazi group sits down at IHOP? — I’m off to the races to watch the shit out of that thing.

It’s inevitable, really, that they would do a show about Halloween and little kids costumes. Get your little black hearts ready: an adorable boy is going to find out from some busybody ladies at a Halloween store why he can’t be a princess for Halloween.   Keep reading »

Eva Longoria And Mark Sanchez Split

Eva And Tony Split
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are dunzo. Read More »
Awkward!
Tony Parker's sobbing mom divebombed Eva's book signing. Read More »
Bad Karma
Patti Stanger says Eva Longoria's divorce is bad karma. Read More »
  • Sadly, Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez will not be producing any ridiculously attractive children, as they are no longer doing that thing that results in babies. [US Weekly]
  • Everything you need to know about the Apple iPad Mini, which, of course, is going to cost you some green. [The Week]
  • Speaking of gadgets … your smartphone is really disgusting and could give you pinkeye or diarrhea. Surprise! [Newser]
  • Squee! Look at baby Harper Beckham is in her darling little hooded cape! [Socialite Life]

Madonna Strips Down In Support Of Malala

Meet Malala
5 things to know about Malala, the 14-year-old girl shot by the Taliban. Read More »
Madonna Loves Pussy Riot
madonna on pussy riot
Madonna supports the Russian punk band. Read More »
Frisky Feminism!
Everything The Frisky has ever written about feminism! Read More »
Madonna Malala
  • Madonna stripped off her and displayed a tribute to Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year-old girl shot by the Taliban for being a girls education activist. I love how she’s throwing her support behind Pussy Riot and Malala — as if you needed a reminder that Madonna is rad. Angelina Jolie has also spoken out on behalf of Malala in a piece for The Daily Beast. [The Atlantic]
  • Why do conservatives hate Stephanie Cutter, Obama’s deputy campaign manager? [Slate]
  • This is extremely fucked up: a man sexually assaults a sleeping woman on the New York City subway and another passenger films it with his camera. Then the camera guy and another passenger woke the woman up and she punched the man who had been groping her in the face. [New York Daily News]
  • Vermont innkeepers Jim and Mary O’Reilly, who were sued for discriminating against a lesbian couple, appeared in an anti-gay marriage ad in Maine. [Queerty] Keep reading »
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

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