Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Bristol Palin Got Plastic Surgery For “Medical Reasons”

“It’s not plastic surgery. I had corrective jaw surgery [in December 2010]. Yes. It improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons … so my jaw and teeth could properly realign … I don’t obsess over my face. … I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature, and don’t have as much of a chubby little baby face!”

Bristol Palin explains her new face to Us Weekly, to which we say: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA medical reasons! [Us Weekly] Keep reading »

Levi Johnston Is A “Deer In The Headlights” On His Book Cover

The book cover for Levi Johnston’s Deer In The Headlights: My Life In Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, is everything I hoped the rumored tell-all‘s cover would be. Levi looking hot/really baked? Check. Antler imagery? Check. No credit for the ghostwriter who probably tapped this thing out while Levi was clubbing baby seals? Check. Fact: I would never read a book by Sarah Palin, but I might just read a book by Levi Johnston. [Amazon] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Orthodox Jewish Newspaper Explains Airbrushing Women From Situation Room Pic

  • The conservative Hasidic Jewish newspaper in Brooklyn that removed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and counterterrorism analyst Audrey Tomason — the only two women in the iconic Situation Room photo of the President watching the raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound — has released a statement. Der Zeitung writes:

    “Our editorial policies are guided by a Rabbinical Board and because of laws of modesty, does not allow for the publishing of photos of women. The readership of the Tzeitung believe that women should be appreciated for who they are and what they do, not for what they look like, and the Jewish laws of modesty are an expression of respect for women, not the opposite.”

    You can read the rest of the statement — which apologizes more for altering the White House’s official photograph, which is against policy, than it does for Photoshopping all the women out of the photograph — on the newspaper’s web site. [Der Zeitung]

Keep reading »

Quickies: Prince Harry Mines For Gold & See Rachel Zoe’s Crazy “Push Present” Diamond Ring

  • Before he was prince of our hearts (aww), Prince Harry was just a little boy digging for gold and then eating it. Also, get your princes straight, BuzzFeed! That’s Harry, not William. [BuzzFeed]
  • Paul McCartney and fiancée Nancy Shevell won’t do a a prenup. Prenups = so “out” right now. [PopEater]
  • Chaz Bono said he’d be willing to talk to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie about their daughter Shiloh, who is infamous for her quote-on-quote “boyish” clothing. “I would love to talk to them at some point to at least let them know we have this resource for them if they ever need it,” said Cher’s son, who had gender reassignment surgery to transition from Chastity to Chaz. “People get too freaked out about kids and what to do with kids. If you just let kids do what they need to do they usually have the right idea.” Could we stop diagnosing this Shiloh with gender dysmorphia already? She’s in preschool. [E! Online]

Keep reading »

Pomplamoose Covers The Angry Birds Theme Song


Pomplamoose, an indie rock band beloved for their covers of “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” and “Beat It,” has now covered the Angry Birds theme song. How zeitgeist-y! I love this — even if it’s just not the same without those sinister piggie snorts. [YouTube] Keep reading »

An Ode To “Mob Wives”

RIP Kate Swift, The Woman Who Stopped Us From Saying “Stewardess”

Once upon a time, a flight attendant was called a stewardess. Police officers and fighterfighters were policemen and firemen. And all women were addressed based on their marital status as “Miss” or “Mrs.” But not anymore, in large thanks to writer Kate Swift, who died on Saturday at age 87. Keep reading »

Dear Navy SEALs: Thank You For Killing Osama bin Laden, Now Here’s A Fleshlight

This is the best press release I’ve received as a staffer at The Frisky.
Keep reading »

Adele’s Ex-Boyfriend Wants Royalties For Inspiring Her Debut Album

“For about a week he was calling and was deadly serious about it. Finally, I said, ‘Well, you made my life hell, so I lived it and now I deserve it.’ He really thought he’d had some input into the creative process by being a prick. I’ll give him the credit — he made me an adult, and put me on the road that I’m traveling.”

Adele shares that her ex-boyfriend, who inspired the songs on her first album, 19, thought he was entitled to royalties for fueling all her songs of heartbreak and devastation. Wow, what nerve that guy had. Luckily none of our exes have asked for a cut of the profits from all the ink we’ve spilled about them on The Frisky. Maybe I shouldn’t give them any ideas. [NME] Keep reading »

Prince William And Kate Middleton In The Seychelles For Honeymoon

Some secret that was! Prince William and Kate Middleton arrived in the Seychelles this morning for their honeymoon, a spokesperson for the country’s department of tourism confirmed today. The couple will be staying in a “secluded villa” on a private island, the identity of which is unknown. These two understandably wanted to keep their honeymoon between the two of them; Kate reportedly was kept in the dark about the destination so it’d be a total surprise. Oh well. Sometime tells me their exclusive island surrounded by bodyguards won’t be too easy to access. I hope the paparazzi leave Kate and William alone on their Seychelles honeymoon so they can f**k like bunnies in peace. And with villas a reported $6,600 a night, it had better be private. [Telegraph UK] Keep reading »

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