Profile for Jessica Wakeman

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Morning Quickies: Jennifer Garner Pregnant With Third Child

  • Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are expecting their third child! The couple has two daughters: Violet, 5, and Seraphina, 2. Congratulations! [Celebuzz]
  • Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have left for their honeymoon on the Italian island of Capri. Try not to think about this too much while you’re at work all day. [US Weekly, RadarOnline]
  • Rumor has it eco-conscious Leonardo DiCaprio bought Blake Lively a Prius, although friends say that story is BS. [Celebitchy]

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Evening Quickies: The Kardashian Wedding Wanted Xtina Or JLo To Perform

  • Kris Jenner reportedly wanted Jennifer Lopez or Christina Aguilera to perform at Kim Kardashian’s blingy wedding — for free. Oh yes, every bride dreams of “Dirrty” as a first dance song! Both pop stars charge about $1 million each for private performances, which apparently was not in the Kardashian’s budget. [Reality TV Magazine]
  • Sarah Jessica Parker says her son James Wilkie has been bitten by the acting bug, but she’s hoping her budding thespian will go to college first. [People]
  • Eleven ways to be terrible at sex. “Pulling Some Kinky, Taboo Sh*t Without Talking About It First” should be bold-faced and underlined twice. [How About We]

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Today’s Lady News: Women Gain Weight After Marriage, Men Gain Weight After Divorce

  • Women gain weight after marriage and men gain weight after divorce, according to a new study out of Ohio State University. The data was collected by 10,000 subjects in the two years following a marriage or a divorce. One co-author of the study suggested women may gain weight after marriage because they traditionally have a bigger role in maintaining the household and that affords them less time to exercise. Or, you know, maybe we’re just letting ourself go because we’ve finally trapped a man. [Canada.com]
  • The New York Times takes a look at low-income transgender women who are the victims of “pumpers,” i.e. people without medical training who inject black market silicone into women who are desperately trying to appear more feminine. [New York Times]
  • The Department of Education announced recently it will fine Washington State University $82,500 for failing to report two campus sexual assaults. [Feministing]

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No Sexual Assault Charges For Dominique Strauss Kahn, Sources Say

“We couldn’t tell the jury that she kept lying to us but that they should believe her.”

That’s an anonymous official speaking to The New York Times regarding the case against Dominique Strauss Kahn, the former head of the International Monetary Fun who was forced to step down three months ago after he was accused of sexual assault by a New York City hotel maid. The 33-year-old housekeeper, Nafissatou Diallo, claimed that on May 14, DSK forced her to perform oral sex on him when she arrived to clean his room at the Sofitel Hotel; he has insisted the two had a consensual sexual liaison and insinuated rather slanderously that she is a prostitute. The maid’s ripped stockings and DNA from DSK were seen as damning physical evidence against him.

But in the weeks following the alleged attack, during which DSK resigned from the IMF, it came to light that Diallo had lied on her asylum application from her home country of Guinea and repeated those lies to investigators. No one has accused Diallo of lying about the details of the alleged assault in the Sofitel, but even her legal team seems to agree a jury won’t see her as trustworthy and therefore the case can’t be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. Tomorrow, prosecutors are expected to announce charges against DSK will be dropped. [UPDATE: Aroudn 4p.m. EST this afternoon, news outlets began reporting prosecutors would ask a judge that "some or all" of the charges would be dropped. — NPR] Keep reading »

“Maggie Goes On A Diet,” Children’s Diet Book, Criticized For Hurting Body Image

Add this to your fall reading list (or book burning pile): Maggie Goes On A Diet, a children’s book for elementary schoolers, about an obese 14-year-old girl named Maggie who loses weight and becomes the school soccer star. As you can imagine, quite a few people are not happy with this. Bitch Magazine called it “douchy.” A Huffington Post blogger called it “disturbing.” The UK’s Guardian questioned whether this book was “the worst idea ever.”

Everyone, just stick a donut in your mouth and shut up for a second. Keep reading »

Morning Quickies: Britney Spears Brings Her Son Onstage

  • Aww, Britney Spears brought her son Sean Preston onstage at her show in Columbus this weekend. He looks so happy! [PopDust]
  • Kim Kardashian’s noisy wedding this weekend pissed off the neighbors. (Five hundred guests and helicopters circling overhead will do that!) Cops arrived and asked Kimmycakes to turn the music down, which they did. [TMZ]
  • Russell Armstrong from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” may be remembered for taking his own life last week after a separation from his wife, Taylor Armstrong. But The Fix, a blog devoted to sober living and recovery from drug abuse, remembers Russell Armstrong as a man who helped his sister end an addiction to meth and wanted to build a rehab empire. [The Fix]

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Creepy Prince William & Kate Middleton Dolls Will Eat Your Brains While You Sleep

Poor Prince William and Kate Middleton. The pizza with their faces recreated in vegetables was bad, but that’s got nothing on these vacant-eyed dolls from the toy company Arklu. A set of William and Kate together in their wedding finery costs $159.95; the Kate doll alone is a cool $79.95. (For some reason, the Prince William doll cannot be purchased on its own.) I might actually pay someone to keep these dolls from coming alive at night and eating my brains while I sleep. [Arklu.com via USA Today] Keep reading »

It’s A Panda Party!

If you know one thing about me from reading The Frisky, it’s that I am fanatically in love, if not outright obsessed, with pandas. So of course I have to share with you this video the San Diego Zoo filmed of Yun Zi’s second birthday party. Zookeepers brought Yun Zi an “ice cake” covered in frosting, bamboo leaves, yams, apples and carrots. Sounds disgusting to me, but he was so excited that he knocked it right over and started munching. Just like a human two-year-old! [Best Week Ever] Keep reading »

Evening Quickies: Frivolous Lawsuit Queen Lindsay Lohan Sues Pitbull For Using Her Name In A Song

  • Lindsay Lohan is suing the rapper Pitbull for using her name in his song “Give Me Everything.” LiLo claims the lyrics “I got locked up like Lindsay Lohan” have caused her irreparable harm. Oh, boo hoo. [TMZ]
  • A Mexican teen girl might be selling her virginity for Justin Bieber tickets. Or something might be lost in translation here. [Gawker]
  • Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is seeking the Republican nomination for president, invested in a company called Movie Gallery. Why is this noteworthy? Movie Gallery is country’s largest pornography distributor and purveyor of fine films like “Teen Girls Never Say No.” [Buzzfeed]

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Today’s Lady News: Planned Parenthood Ends Abortion At 3 Arizona Clinics

  • Planned Parenthood will no longer provide medical abortions (i.e. the abortion pill) at clinics in Prescott Valley, Flagstaff, and Yuma due to new state laws that restrict the practice. Anti-abortion advocates wanted clinics that do medical abortions, which involves swallowing a pill, to have the same clinic set-up and equipment as the clinics that perform abortion as surgery. Arizona women will now only be allowed to get medical abortions at the Phoenix and Tucson clinics, which are the only two clinics to do surgical abortions as well. [NPR]
  • Rape victims will not be charged for their rape kits (DNA evidence collected to help police) under legislation signed yesterday by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. [Change.org]
  • Would America be better off right now if Hillary Clinton had been elected president? Rebecca Traitster at The New York Times Magazine wonders. < [New York Times Magazine]/li>

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