Jennifer Garam

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Love & Sex

“I’m an empty essay, fill me out!” the words beckoned under the Self Summary section of my brand new, totally blank OkCupid profile.

Armed with a Diet Coke and a new resolve, I was actually signing up for online dating, something I hadn’t done in three years. And not because I was in… READ MORE »


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After years of unsuccessful attempts at dating, you’ve finally isolated your problem: unavailable men. If only you could find a guy who wasn’t a total commitmentphobe, you’d be in the relationship you’ve always desired. So the solution then, is simple: stop dating unavailable men.

Or maybe it’s not that easy. Perhaps you’ve heard… READ MORE »


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Some people are good at relationships. They meet potential partners with effortless ease wherever they go—on the subway, in the elevator at work, on line at the grocery store. They strike up conversations with men in bars, get fixed up by friends, and actually enjoy (ugh!) online dating. The people they encounter are emotionally available… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Last week I was racing across the street in flip flops when, before I could stop it, my left foot landed on a pulverized rat. This was upsetting. Standing on the curb taking deep breaths, I decided to turn around and take a second look. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t as bad as I thought… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

“You’re really mean to yourself,” my friend said after I’d finished listing all the ways I’d messed up a date with a guy I really liked. What did I do that I found so unacceptable? Here’s the list:

1. I didn’t offer to pay. I always offer to pay, but then I feel… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

When you finally meet someone you connect with, that first date feels like magic. The conversation flows smoothly, the chemistry is electric, and you wish that the night would never end. Which is why you’re so surprised when on the second date, you feel like you’re out with a totally different person. Between all the… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

“This isn’t working for me anymore,” he says abruptly one night on the phone, and you’re stunned. Everything had been going great. You’d even been thinking about places to go on a summer vacation together, but unfortunately, he had other plans. And you did not see this coming.

Breakups are hard enough when… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Just as Zooey Deschanel has her own theme song on “The New Girl”—Who’s that girl? It’s Jess!—I, too, could have my own catchy tune that begins, It’s The Jen Show! I’ve earned this ditty because when I like a guy, I feel compelled to play a character instead of just being myself. Sure, sometimes I… READ MORE »


Highlights

It all started a few years ago with an ex and one innocent Google search. In a moment of missing Jeremy*, a guy I’d dated a couple of years earlier, I typed his name and pressed “Enter,” thinking, What could it hurt? It did hurt though when the results returned an article about him and… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

You give good text and are proud of it. Often finding yourself heavy texting with a crush or brand new love interest, you delight in the back-and-forth repartee, the dings announcing his new message, the way that crafting witty responses keeps your brain sharp and you on your toes. When you talk to your friends,… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

In elementary school, Valentine’s Day was fun. I went to the stationery store with my Mom, picked out a box of perforated Smurf Valentines, and sat in front of the TV with a copy of my class list, making sure to include everyone as I wrote out my cards. I decorated a brown paper lunch… READ MORE »


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We all know that music can powerfully affect emotions, changing how you feel completely or intensifying the mood you’re already in. We also know that relationships can powerfully affect emotions, making you want to dance in the streets or hide out under the covers. Listening to the right song at the right moment will amp… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

“She doesn’t drink,” my Mom said when someone offered me a glass of champagne at my sister’s wedding last summer.

“Mom!” I hissed. “Can you say ‘She doesn’t like to drink’? People are going to think I’m a recovering alcoholic!”

But after nodding no time and again to waiters coming around… READ MORE »


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If you feel like you missed the class that taught everything you needed to know about dating and you just can’t make these things called relationships work, you may be stuck in some unhealthy romantic patterns. These default strategies can often kick in without us even knowing it — from the moment those first crushy… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Sometimes when I am sitting in a Starbucks on my lunch break, I will remember sitting there with Joey* nine years ago. I will see my 20-something self a few tables over, leaning forward towards him, my cheeks flushed. I will see my hands flailing through the air as I talk to him about my… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

“Sit down, you forgot to act,” my teacher said, and my cheeks burned.

It was less than two minutes into my scene and he was already stopping it.

I was a 23-year-old acting student. The assignment was to come up with an imaginary circumstance and an activity to go along with… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

When I was in my late 20s, I had a crush on a guy I worked with. He was tall and preppy, and looked like he’d stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. Every Monday morning I’d skip down the aisle, lean on the wall of his cubicle, and ask him how his weekend was,… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

This is how I used to start my day: I’d meditate for five minutes, read the daily passage in The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and do the daily reading and writing exercises from my Buddhism book. Then I’d log onto my computer and type my gratitude list of 30-50 items I was grateful for,… READ MORE »



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