Hugo Schwyzer

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Guy Talk: Why Cougars Are Better Than Silver Foxes

Hugo's piece was originally published at the Good Men Project Magazine. Both at the Good Men Project and at my own blog, my most popular posts in terms of page-views are invariably those that focus on one particularly controversial subject: older men and younger women. (Here’s “What Young Women Are Really Looking For From Older

By: Hugo Schwyzer / November 7, 2011

Guy Talk: Why Does It Matter How Many Partners She’s Had?

This piece originally appeared on The Frisky and The Good Men Project in February, but is being republished on both sites as the film "What's Your Number?" hits theaters nationwide. Judging from what I read online and hear from my students, the question of the “number” is as compelling as ever. This month, Marie Claire

By: Hugo Schwyzer / October 5, 2011

Guy Talk: Learning To Be A Husband, Not A Son

Not so long ago, my wife and I were talking to a recently-divorced friend of ours. She’s younger than we are, in her early thirties, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s never tying the knot again. Not because of an objection to the institution, but because she’s convinced that most men marry for one…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / September 6, 2011

Guy Talk: What’s The Difference Between Privacy And Secrecy?

Last week’s discussion about guys, porn, and honesty raised a number of interesting questions. How much truth do we owe our partners about what we do when they’re not around – and how much should we share about what runs through our heads? Almost everyone agrees that outright lies are bad. But are there some…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / July 28, 2011

Guy Talk: Lust Doesn’t Have To Ruin A Platonic Friendship

There are few more famous snippets of film dialogue than this exchange from the 1989 Blly Crystal and Meg Ryan classic, "When Harry Met Sally": Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends. Sally: Why not? Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / July 5, 2011

Guy Talk: Dads, Hug Your Daughters

“I was always daddy’s little girl. We did everything together. He was my hero. My father was always there with a hug for me; when I was little, he let me climb all over him like he was a jungle gym. And then my body changed. I developed early; I had boobs by 11. And…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / June 15, 2011

Guy Talk: Can Male Masturbators Catch A Break?

Male masturbators can’t seem to catch a break. Despite the assumption that every guy has masturbated, is masturbating, or will masturbate, self-pleasure has been getting a bad rap for 3000 years. From Orthodox Judaism to traditional Buddhism, the religious strictures against men masturbating are ancient and enduring. (Because the spiritual authorities were so often ignorant…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / May 16, 2011

Guy Talk: Mythbusting Bisexual Men

“You’re either gay, straight, or lying.” I first heard that oft-repeated phrase when I was an 18-year-old freshman at UC Berkeley. I was at my first meeting of the GLBA (Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Alliance). I’d recently broken up with a girlfriend, and had been dating (and sleeping with) both men and women; I wa…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / May 11, 2011

Guy Talk: How To Check Out Women

It’s been over 30 years, but I still remember the day Jenny Talbot caught me staring at her boobs. Jenny and I sat next to each other in a couple of classes. We weren’t exactly friends, but friendly; she helped me in math, I helped her in social studies. One day, Jenny and I were…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / April 28, 2011

Guy Talk: If You’re Married, Wear Your Wedding Ring

With the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton just over two weeks away, Buckingham Palace is letting out daily updates of the impending nuptials. Few bits of news have proved as controversial as the announcement that the future king will forgo a wedding band after he’s married.That decision hasn’t been well received by…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / April 13, 2011

Guy Talk: The Man Repeller Isn’t About Men

I don’t know that a formal survey’s been done, but I think it’s safe to say that in the eyes of most straight men in America, turbans on a women’s head aren’t hot. Neither are ostrich-feather miniskirts, utility pants, or capes. To many guys, tight, form-fitting, and revealing fashions constitute “sexy.” And isn’t that what…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / April 8, 2011

Guy Talk: Is It Natural For Older Guys To Lust After Young Women?

In my office, Amber is telling me a familiar story. She’s come to talk about her autobiography paper for my women’s studies class, and she reads part of her rough draft aloud. “I was 12, and this car pulled up alongside me as I was walking home from school … the driver looked a little…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / March 31, 2011

Guy Talk: Ladies, We’d Prefer You Didn’t Fake It

I read a blog post earlier this month that sounded a familiar refrain: Are single women too independent for their own good? Women’s magazines ask that question, men’s magazines ask that question, and the answer is almost always the same: yes.

By: Hugo Schwyzer / March 24, 2011

Guy Talk: The Blessings Of Erectile Dysfunction

If you’ve turned on a TV since 1998, you know how obsessed we are with hard-ons. Since the little blue pill appeared more than a dozen years ago, countless imitators of varying legitimacy and effectiveness have hit the market. Ads for drugs that promise to cure erectile dysfunction run nonstop during sporting events, and the…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / March 17, 2011

Guy Talk: How Men’s Rights Activists Get Feminism Wrong

When I was getting clean and sober in a Twelve Step program many years ago, there was one phrase from the literature that always resonated with me. We addicts have been, the book said, the “architects of our own adversity.” Yes, I thought the first time I read that. It’s time to stop blaming other…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / March 10, 2011

Guy Talk: What’s Wrong With Men’s Bodies?

Like countless American children, I grew up hearing the nursery rhyme that claimed that little boys were made of “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails” while girls were “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Attached as I was as a small boy to our pet dachshund, I thought puppy-dog tails were a fine thing indeed,…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / March 4, 2011

Why Don’t Men Settle Down?

Last week, Jennifer Doll offered a familiar lament in the pages of the Village Voice: “Dear Single Women of NYC: It’s Not Them, It’s You.” Though her focus is on New York, Doll could have been describing almost any large American city in which the number of single, straight, employed, and emotionally competent men i…

By: Hugo Schwyzer / February 17, 2011