Profile for Evil Beet Gossip

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Taylor Momsen Cleans Up Nicely!

Evil Beet GossipFebruary 16, 2012 //

Well isn’t this a nice change now. Taylor Momsen wearing something other than undergarments and bloody, ripped fishnet stockings with thigh-high boots that could be used as arsenal in their own rights. And doesn’t she just look lovely?

Taylor here was photographed at New York’s Fashion week, where she kept the company of Stacy Keibler, Bar Refaeli, and other prolific women not generally known for using electrical tape on their nippies, sacrificing goats onstage or wearing black leather all of the time and hooking up with questionably-aged music fans. Maybe girlfriend could take a few pointers from these classy ladies, huh? Read more…

Who Is Slinky Sunbeam?

Evil Beet GossipFebruary 15, 2012 //

The odds are that you don’t recognize this young man at all. Don’t feel bad about it, because there’s no reason that you should really know what he looks like. But trust me, you probably hate him. You’ve probably, at some point, called him a dick, an a**hole, or whatever your favorite insult might be (do share!). Personally, I’ve contemplated watching The Craft over and over just so I can figure out how to put a really good spell on him, because seriously, what a jackass. To do what he did to one of the most lovely ladies …

Do you have any guesses? 

He’s that guy! That’s the guy that Adele wrote that phenomenal album, 21, about! He’s the inspiration for such touching masterpieces as “Rolling in the Deep,” “Someone Like You,” and “Don’t You Remember.” What a jerk, right? His name is Slinky Sunbeam. For real. Read more…

Courtney Stodden Was A Tramp For Valentine’s Day

Evil Beet GossipFebruary 14, 2012 //

But of course I’m making a play on words here – I’d never insinuate that Courtney Stodden was an outright tramp – how ludicrous! I’m simply talking about the Disney flick, “Lady and the Tramp,” because they’re OBVIOUSLY reenacting the famous dog-eating-spaghetti scene. I’m not sure who’s supposed to be “Lady” and who’s supposed to be “Tramp,” but I think it’s a safe bet to say that Doug Hutchison is no tramp. I mean, Courtney’s probably the first chick he’s ever slept with (and that still triggers my gag reflex, even after Chocolate! Cheerios!), so there’s that, too. Read more…

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Have A Great Valentine’s Day

Evil Beet GossipFebruary 13, 2012 //

In case you forgot, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and it’s so important that you do everything right for your significant other. Do you understand that? Nothing else matters right now other than you not screwing up that special day tomorrow for your partner, and nobody knows that better than Gwyneth Paltrow. And since Gwyneth is such a sweetheart, she’s taken it upon herself to put together a step-by-step guide for you to give to your lover so that he doesn’t mess everything up tomorrow. That Gwyneth, always such a gem!

Gwyn went ahead and made a timeline so Valentine’s Day can run as smoothly as possible. The first step is to print out the guide and leave it somewhere for your “other half” to find because “they’ll get the hint.”  Tee-hee! Read more…

Aww, Jennifer Lopez Is Talking Babies With Her Little Boyfriend!

Evil Beet GossipJanuary 20, 2012 //

You guys! How precious is this?! Jennifer Lopez and her man, Casper Smart, are so amazingly, beautifully in love that they are discussing having babies together! BABIES! And yes, they’ve only been dating for somewhere around two or three months, but … babies! Can you believe it?! Read more…

Is This Khloe Kardashian’s Real Father?

Evil Beet GossipJanuary 18, 2012 //

Oh that Khloe. Now I have even more reason to like her – she’s almost not even a real Kardashian! I mean, we all pretty much knew that from the get-go, what with her vast appearance difference and her entire attitude. It’s her demeanor that probably should have tipped us off from the start, though. She’s never been a whiny, vapid little twit bent on alienating everyone in her path so she can fame-whore and pretend to be the victim all of the time. She’s relatively normal, all things considered.

Anyway. The dude in the picture is someone we’ve vaguely talked about before – this is Kris Jenner’s former hairdresser of the eighties, Alex Roldan. Sources say that he and Kris probably had an appropriately-eighties coke-soaked tryst one steamy evening and Khloe was the ultimate result. Funny thing? Khloe’s middle name is “Alexandra.” An homage to daddy, perhaps? It wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Read more…

George Clooney’s Ex Is Hooking Up With Steve-O

Evil Beet GossipJanuary 17, 2012 //

You guys remember Elisabetta Canalis, right? She dated George Clooney for a while, she was on Dancing with the Stars, and then she creeped everybody out when she called her relationship with George “more of a father-daughter relationship.” Other notable achievements include posing nude for PETA and posing nearly nude on the beach. Are we caught up?

Good. Because super hot Elisabetta Canalis went from hooking up with that fine man you see on the left to hooking up with Steve-O. Read more…

Could “Bridesmaids” Win An Oscar?

Evil Beet GossipDecember 21, 2011 //

Judd Apatow did an interview with Variety, and it’s basically about how hard comedies are shafted during awards seasons. He says there’s this big misconception that comedies are much easier to make than dramas or action flicks, so comedies rarely, if ever, get nominated for big awards, and I agree. I think it’s sad that well-made comedic films with great scripts and solid acting don’t get more recognition, but this year might be different. This year, “Bridesmaids” could win the Academy Award for Best Picture. Read more…

Christmas Miracle: Courtney Stodden Is Doing The 12 Days Of Christmas

Evil Beet GossipDecember 19, 2011 //

In case you couldn’t tell already, Courtney Stodden is a true expert at getting into the Christmas spirit. For the past month, her glorious Twitter has been all about the holiday season: she calls Santa things like “sweet Santa of seduction,” “Santa of Ravishment,” and “Mr. Moist Saint Nick.” And if that doesn’t convince you that Courtney takes Christmas seriously, maybe this will: she’s doing the 12 days of Christmas. And it’s wonderful. Read more…

Look, Beyonce’s Fetus Has Its Own Twitter Account!

Evil Beet GossipSeptember 5, 2011 //

Because what else do you get the fetus who has everything?

According to this Twitter account, Beyonce swallowed a Blackberry, and now her child has access to the outside world. And of course, what else would you do with your very first smartphone besides connect to the world through 140 characters or less?

Here are a few of the more poignant things the fetus has said so far. Read more… Keep reading »

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