Evil Beet Gossip

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It’s A Girl For Kim And Kanye

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are having a baby girl. And Kim Kardashian wore an atrocious outfit. Of the baby girl, they are “over the moon.” Why is that the go-to phrase for…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 24, 2013 - 2:30 pm

Listen Up, Grammy Attendees: Your Nips, Butt Cheeks & Puffy Genitals Aren’t Welcome!

Well, the Lord’s day is going to be a lot less fun this week (I mean, if it’s possible to be less fun than it usually is), because this time…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 9, 2013 - 9:30 am

Joaquin Phoenix: Would You Still Hit It?

Oh Joaquin Phoenix. How you’re still such an important part of my entertainment life. Even when you said “bye! Good” to us, I never stopped loving you. Even when you embarked…

Evil Beet Gossip | January 25, 2013 - 3:10 pm

PETA Hates Honey Boo Boo Child

How horrible, right? How could you hate an innocent little child like Honey Boo Boo? If you don’t like her, fine, or if you think she’s trashy, whatever. I see…

Evil Beet Gossip | November 11, 2012 - 9:30 am

Snooki Talks About Losing Her Baby Weight, Doesn’t Understand What Baby Weight Is

Seriously, how good is Snooki looking these days? I think she’s always been cute, but when she got pregnant, she stopped tanning, and it seems like she’s started using more natural makeup (natural for Snooki,…

Evil Beet Gossip | October 27, 2012 - 3:30 pm

Liam Would Like Miley To Delete Her Twitter Again

Hey, do you remember when Miley tweeted this stuff?
ever feel like you want just…. something more. not sure what exactly…. passion perhaps?
sometimes i feel like i love everyone more than they…

Evil Beet Gossip | September 30, 2012 - 9:30 am

Kelly Osbourne Is “Sorry” For That $250K Manicure She Got, Guys

But of course she’s not, though, because this “apology” is her way of telling the world that she rocked a quarter-of-a-million-dollar f-cking nail polish color to Sunday’s Emmys, if you didn’t…

Evil Beet Gossip | September 27, 2012 - 1:10 pm

Evan Rachel Wood Says Miley Cyrus Has Lesbian Hair

Because of course she did. This is what Evan Rachel Wood does—alienate people and perpetuate stereotypes (no, I don’t know if that’s what she really does as in she makes…

Evil Beet Gossip | August 25, 2012 - 9:30 am

Nicki Minaj Tells Fans To “Eat S**t And Die,” Calls Their Mothers “Whores”

Ooh! Classy! Don’t know if you guys follow Nicki on Twitter, but it’s, like, my job to, so when I got a nudge from one of our followers that Nicki went…

Evil Beet Gossip | August 23, 2012 - 2:50 pm

Lindsay Lohan Stole Some More Jewelry. Allegedly.

Well, at this point it’s not even “allegedly,” because police don’t consider her a suspect (yet). She was just questioned after a bunch of expensive jewelry went missing in a…

Evil Beet Gossip | August 21, 2012 - 4:10 pm

Robert Pattinson Is Going To Have A Talk With Rupert Sanders

Oh, you didn’t think that we were going to stop talking about this anytime soon, did you? I sure hope not, because The GreatKristen Stewart Scandal of 2012 is still going so, so…

Evil Beet Gossip | July 29, 2012 - 3:30 pm

Even People Magazine Says Kristen Stewart Cheated On Robert Pattinson

This makes me so sad, but to be fair, I’m sure it makes poor Robert Pattinson even sadder. I bet he’s just sitting quietly at home, sipping tea and possibly writing heartbroken…

Evil Beet Gossip | July 25, 2012 - 11:10 am

Brad Fischetti From LFO Spends All His Free Time At Abortion Clinics

You guys. This is crazy. You remember LFO, right? Of course you do. They’re the ones who like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch, remember? Yeah, those guys. Well, ever…

Evil Beet Gossip | May 25, 2012 - 4:10 pm

Topless Adrien Brody At Cannes

This is like my lucky day. No, f-ck “like.” This is my lucky day. The only thing that could make this day luckier is if I were on that boat…

Evil Beet Gossip | May 24, 2012 - 2:10 pm

Jennifer Aniston And Justin Theroux Are Wearing Matching Rings Now

You know what this (left) is? It’s a ring. That says ‘Justin.’ As in ‘Theroux’. Who is wearing it, and not because he’s such a ditz that he often forgets…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 18, 2012 - 9:30 am

This Is Sad: Chyna Is Starring In A Wrestling Porno

You guys remember Chyna, right? She used to be a lady wrestler, but then she developed addictions to various substances, made a sex tape, and became suicidal. I’m not really sure what order all that happened…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 17, 2012 - 11:50 am

Taylor Momsen Cleans Up Nicely!

Well isn’t this a nice change now. Taylor Momsen wearing something other than undergarments and bloody, ripped fishnet stockings with thigh-high boots that could be used as arsenal in their own rights. And doesn’t…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 16, 2012 - 12:10 pm

Who Is Slinky Sunbeam?

The odds are that you don’t recognize this young man at all. Don’t feel bad about it, because there’s no reason that you should really know what he looks like.

Evil Beet Gossip | February 15, 2012 - 10:50 am

Courtney Stodden Was A Tramp For Valentine’s Day

But of course I’m making a play on words here – I’d never insinuate that Courtney Stodden was an outright tramp – how ludicrous! I’m simply talking about the Disney flick, “Lady…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 14, 2012 - 12:10 pm

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Have A Great Valentine’s Day

In case you forgot, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and it’s so important that you do everything right for your significant other. Do you understand that? Nothing else matters right now other than…

Evil Beet Gossip | February 13, 2012 - 12:52 pm